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Downscale rather then get room mates. Seriously room mates gave me nothing but grief. In the end, I chose living in my car rather then doing room mates again. I then bought a travel trailer and lived in it.
Room mates intrude on your life, are loud, slobs, and all too often can't pay their bills. They steal from you, engage in criminal activity, and generally add stress.
FAR better to live in a travel trailer.
Sorry for your bad luck. I've not lived alone in my 10 years of being away from my parents' home (and single that whole time). I did have one or two defaulters that had to be dealt with, but nothing like the picture you paint.
He doesn't WANT to live with roommates. He cannot AFFORD to live alone. He is waiting to get a better job, earn more money and then move out.
I wouldn't date a guy who lives with roomies and thinks it's okay to have a low paying job.
I would date a guy who lives with roomies and works towards getting more income and then moving out.
That is actually a well informed and nicely considered position.
My wife and I have a roommate (3rd adult in the house). We own the place and it is a great house. 2500 SQft, 3 bed, 3 bath and an unfinished basement. No kids, DINKs for life, in early 30s. Our roommate was in a situation kind of like the OP, it was time to move out of his parent's house and get his life together. He will eventually move on and we won't have any roommate, but in the short term it would have been too expensive to live on his own and he needed to have role models his own age so he could have a standard to hold himself to. He was often "employed" for like 5 hours/week. Now he has two jobs working a combined 45 to 48/week and putting away enough money to put himself into a position to be able to put a down payment on his own place.
Yes, I charge rent. It is below market rent, but it is still a material amount that helps him prepare for having to make his own mortgage payments or pay his own share of rent if he opts to live in an apartment for a year or two.
1} you are never to old to have a room mate...what do you think a "spouse" or "significant other" really comes down to being? A LOCKED-IN room mate!
2} When i was younger, in very early 20s I had a room mate{s}, but soon I took a second job to help pay for an expensive vehicle I foolishly bought and to NOT have a room mate, so I could live alone. Now, LOL : see #1, have a spouse!
3} I understand your desire to network and volunteer, can you turn either into revenue-income-producing affairs? then maybe you can release your roomy?
4} Sometimes, Sometimes, when I lived in alone, I was , well, er, lonely. Don't be so quick to do so.
5} can you and your roomy share the cooking/cleaning of the kitchen? one of you cooks for both and the other cleans up? You mention the 'sharing the kitchen thing like its a bad thing....maybe sharing its duties will help.
6}if it SAVES you money, sock it away like mad so when you retire you will have enough to not have a room mate unless you decide to.
7}DID you REALLY NOT think of the Golden Girls as roomies? LOL: That was the WHOLE senario of the show...Blanche's husband died, she could not afford to live alone, so she asked for a room mate and found Rose first. Then Came Dorothy..they do a back-story episode somewhere to show that.
I used to live alone but one of my friends ended up living in his car and I offered him a place at mine - I have a spare bedroom so it was no big deal. He's still living with me now about a year later. We pay half for rent and utilities so I'm financially better off. I'm 27 (nearly 28) and he just turned 30. He has a daughter so ideally needed a place where she could visit - since a car wasn't really suitable.
I told him that he can always leave if he wants to, but I think the situation is good for both of us. We have a good friendship.
I actually think at this point in life (40ish) that most of the people I know are married and own or rent on their own.
But that the amount of friends my age who live with their parents outnumbers the amount of people who rent with roommates (couples don't count!). Probably by at least 4 to 1 or more. I can only think of 1 person off the top of my head that has a roommate and I actually just met her.
You're probably too young to remember The Golden Girls TV sitcom!
That was the first thing I thought of too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot
If you are 30 and want to live alone and can't, you better take a good look at yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiffanychantel
Or what if they happen to live in an crazy expensive city, and they just don't have a high-enough paying job to live on their own (SF/NYC/etc)? I don't think it's automatically a negative reflection of the person, or that it says something bad about them - it just depends.
I'm 41 and never thought I'd have roommates at this age. I've had them now for two years.
I was widowed at the age of 34 and was lucky enough to be able to keep the house. So for 5 years, I had a 4-BR, 2,056 sq foot house for myself and two small dogs. Then the housing bubble burst and rental prices skyrocketed. A one BR apartment in the income restricted complex down the street from my house rents for $715/month and has a limit of one occupant. The 3-BR (again, income restricted) rents for more than I pay for my mortgage. Rent for a 1-BR in the non-income restricted apartments down the street from my house is $1,018. And I live in the suburbs. Jobs in my field (accounting) for 2-3 years experience are paying the same as what I earned at the experience level almost 20 years ago. My rent at that time was $425 and with student loans and a car payment, it was tight at times. If I were to take a new job now, I'd likely be looking at a $10-$15k/yr pay cut.
This area also has around a 3% vacancy rate. It is less expensive for me to stay in my house than it would be for me to move. So I now rent out two of the rooms in my house. If I lost my job today, what they pay me for rent would almost cover my mortgage. I never thought I'd have roommates at this age and I don't need them financially but it's a smart business decision for me to have them. In this area, it's becoming increasingly difficult to not have them.
My biggest annoyance when people hear I have roommates is getting that "oh, poor you" look because they automatically assume I'm struggling financially. Yes, there are times I wish I had the house to myself. But at the same time, I love to travel and it's peace of mind to know my house isn't sitting empty when I'm gone, and since I just put their rent payments into savings, I can now travel more if I choose too. Plus, I hardly ever have to do the dishes anymore.
I remember watching the show in the early 90s. Never thought of those ladies as roommates.
Why not? For part of the series, Blanche owned the house and Dorothy, Sophia, and Rose rented from her. (Later in the series, the three bought into the house, so they became co-owners). But regardless of who owned and who rented, wouldn't unrelated individuals sharing a living space be considered roommates?
Forget senior citizens. He is 30 so don't compare the two. Some seniors have no choice with health, transportation, reduced pension problems. It is not like they had roommates their entire lives. That is not the OP.
He wants to live alone and never did what was necessary to have his own place. All of his friends seemed to grow up and have their own homes, and by 30 you should be at that point.
30 is definitely too old to have a roommate, but at 75 or 80 it is fine if needed. Two completely different situations.
I suggest that you try to "think" a little harder. You clearly are not in touch with what's going on in present-day America.
I suggest that you try to "think" a little harder. You clearly are not in touch with what's going on in present-day America.
Exactly.
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