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Old 07-27-2015, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Planet Earth
2,776 posts, read 3,047,209 times
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My mother, who is going to be 70 y.o next year has taken to binge drinking while my 17 y.o dear daughter visits her. As my daughter does every summer. This summer, my mother has taken to 3 day binges starting at 5p.m in the afternoon complete with a half of bottle of wine, and two or three glasses of Vodka.

Obviously, this upsets my daughter. How do I confront my mother without placing my daughter in a difficult situation.

I really do not like daughter observing this behavior I think I want to retrieve her from grandma's sooner than later.

I am worried about my mother too as she is a diabetic with high blood pressure.
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Old 07-27-2015, 09:28 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,419 posts, read 47,402,095 times
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Go get your daughter and tell your mother why you are taking her home.

Mother will more than likely be in denial though, so expect that.
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Old 07-27-2015, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Arizona
8,247 posts, read 8,596,826 times
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First of all I don't consider that binge drinking. I am assuming she has 2 or 3 drinks with vodka and not "glasses" of vodka.

I know many people that drink that much wine everyday. Also not a big deal. Your mother should do what she wants and not what you want.

However, I would get your daughter away from it. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it but I would remove her from the situation.
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Old 07-27-2015, 11:30 AM
 
431 posts, read 448,212 times
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A diabetic with high blood pressure should not be drinking at all. There is nothing you can do. Parents don't take advice from their kids and drinkers don't listen to people telling them to cut back.
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Old 07-27-2015, 02:10 PM
 
Location: USA
3,156 posts, read 3,340,450 times
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Good luck with that....Usually you can't convince someone to change their ways that is affecting their health. My dad is also diabetic & makes regular trips to MCDonald's. He makes his own choices in terms of his health. I choose not to waste my energy telling him what he can't have.
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Old 07-27-2015, 02:20 PM
 
26 posts, read 15,817 times
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Honestly I don't see anything wrong with the amount that your mother is drinking because I know many people who drink more than that

I would remove your daughter from her home though things like that tend to get passed over
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Old 07-27-2015, 03:51 PM
 
1,178 posts, read 1,356,403 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
First of all I don't consider that binge drinking. I am assuming she has 2 or 3 drinks with vodka and not "glasses" of vodka.

I know many people that drink that much wine everyday. Also not a big deal. Your mother should do what she wants and not what you want.

However, I would get your daughter away from it. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it but I would remove her from the situation.
And who are your friends? I know there are meetings in their area that would welcome them with open arms. This is a lot to drink....a half a bottle of wine and 2 or 3 drinks on top of that? That is considered heavy drinking!!!!!

And her age and health issues are even more reasons to be concerned. It is not good that your daughter be around her when she is drinking that much.

And the words in red leave me just thinking that vulgar "What the *>*&" expression because that is ludicrous and I don't even use the "f" word!! Yes, let's just advise the OP to not be concerned about her mom who is risking her life! HUNH???? Good Grief.

Look, OP, as a recovering alcoholic, I know that you really cannot control what your mom does however, it is just fine and great if you have a talk with her about her drinking. That shows you love and care about her.
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Old 07-27-2015, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Arizona
8,247 posts, read 8,596,826 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rosebyanothername View Post
And who are your friends? I know there are meetings in their area that would welcome them with open arms. This is a lot to drink....a half a bottle of wine and 2 or 3 drinks on top of that? That is considered heavy drinking!!!!!

And her age and health issues are even more reasons to be concerned. It is not good that your daughter be around her when she is drinking that much.

And the words in red leave me just thinking that vulgar "What the *>*&" expression because that is ludicrous and I don't even use the "f" word!! Yes, let's just advise the OP to not be concerned about her mom who is risking her life! HUNH???? Good Grief.

Look, OP, as a recovering alcoholic, I know that you really cannot control what your mom does however, it is just fine and great if you have a talk with her about her drinking. That shows you love and care about her.

You can keep that AA propaganda. An alcoholic knows about drinking the same as a thrice divorced person knows about marriage. Only that they couldn't handle it!

I know many married couples that kill a bottle of wine every night. A couple with dinner and one watching TV and the bottle is gone. They are hardly ready for "My name is..."

It is the mom's decision if she is going to "risk her life." She knows why she drinks, the daughter doesn't. It is natural for the daughter to feel concern, but still none of her business.
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Old 07-27-2015, 08:24 PM
 
Location: USA
3,156 posts, read 3,340,450 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
You can keep that AA propaganda. An alcoholic knows about drinking the same as a thrice divorced person knows about marriage. Only that they couldn't handle it!

I know many married couples that kill a bottle of wine every night. A couple with dinner and one watching TV and the bottle is gone. They are hardly ready for "My name is..."

It is the mom's decision if she is going to "risk her life." She knows why she drinks, the daughter doesn't. It is natural for the daughter to feel concern, but still none of her business.
The couple that drinks together stays together....

Nobody's perfect in what's best for their health. Just leave it be.
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Old 07-27-2015, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,813 posts, read 32,382,398 times
Reputation: 38573
Your mother could probably get some serious pain meds from her doctor, just like I could. So, would you be okay with her on oxy or would you prefer her to drink a bit?

What you do with that info is your prerogative. But, I choose to drink a couple glasses of wine rather than take pain meds that my doc would be happy to prescribe. If your Mom is in pain, she'll either suffer terribly, or she'll have to medicate. Which would you have her do in front of your kids? Grandma on oxy or grandma on a couple glasses of vodka?

And how hard would that be to explain to the kids? Grandma suffers from a lot of pain due to arthritis, so she's going to appear a little high, but if you can get around that, she'd love to see you...etc.
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