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Years ago when I was very young I got picked on a lot bullies and what have you.
This can wear on you if you let it, but I learned something that helped me .
I guess you could say I learned it from Bill Cosby and his method of comedy .
He didn't make fun of other people , he made fun of himself. freely and transparently .
When I know that I may have made an error amongst my fiends, I simply note that the 2 brain cells left are breaking contact from time to time, please be patient.
Some times I have a memory lapse, and fail to write things down, or forget where I wrote them.
I do a lot of writing .
Some friends can be a bit impatient and critical so in a sense I beat them to the punch, we laugh and no hurt feelings.
How have you learned to deal with these kind of thing ?
You have to know that of course everyone has been critisized by someone and/or made the butt of their joke(s). That's just life, I don't see how anyone could ever avoid that.
Dealing with criticism or mockery can be difficult. Criticism can be easier, if you realize it was intended to be constructive and was expressed tactfully. Rude, belittling criticism is closer to mockery, imo. First of all, I look at who is doing the critcism/mockery. Are they perfect? NO! Are they someone who has some type of valid reason to be putting judgement on you, such as a boss?
It helps to look at a person's possible motivations, for example it is a boss's responsibility to critisize poor work performance. There are plenty of times, of course, when critisicm is inappropriate or just mean-spirited. One needs to learn to tell the difference between criticism that is valid or not.
I understand feeling bad about being critisized, but being outright mocked is worse, unless you know it is done in a non-serious, friendly manner. If people are cruelly mocking someone, the person being made fun of should try to consider the source and avoid that person or people. Let's face it, some people are just jerks.
I think your strategy of being self-depreciating is a good one. I know it is discouraging to feel like people are overly critical or are making fun of you. Unfortunately that is just something that is unavoidable in life, so it is best to learn to roll with the punches.
Yes, when I was younger I got picked on at school too. I learned to laugh at myself, though, and ended up getting quite a few friends with my quirky sense of humor.
And I hope not, but you may be opening up a can of worms by name dropping who you did.
You have to know that of course everyone has been critisized by someone and/or made the butt of their joke(s). That's just life, I don't see how anyone could ever avoid that.
As a child, I'm sure that is very hurtful & shapes who you are as an adult.
As an adult, unless those people making fun of you are keeping you employed, don't put up with it. Seek out others who lift you up, respect you & value you as a person. Life's too short to put up with idiots like those. We are all different in various ways. Learn to support one another by focusing on our strengths rather than our weaknesses/shortcomings. I have all kinds of idiosyncrasies that people around me poke fun of or comment on. I simply point out that they are part of who I am. So if you like me, you have to like ALL parts of what makes me, me. It took me a while to figure this out.
At this point, if I were admitting to Bill Cosby being my comedic mentor, I'd definitely be following that up with a large dosage of self-deprecating humor.
...I kid. I used the same strategy when I was a kid, although I give myself credit for arriving at the strategy more or less on my own. I was nearly two years younger than about half my grade, a year younger than the rest, naïve suburban kid in a school full of city sophisticates...yeah, I got my fair share of bullying.
I've always gotten along with people and never had any problems until my last job. I thought it was office politics and went for coping skills 2 years in. Good job, great pay, good benefits. I walked out after 10 years because I caught my boss mocking me. I was happy to be gone and not part of an environment like that. What killed me was the lie that was told to people as to why I quit.
It wasn't office politics, but workplace bullying which ended up causing me to have PTSD. It wasn't outright name calling, it was all underhanded tactics, backstabbing and mean high school BS.
I ended up having PTSD for something else and they told me that my work situation also caused me to have it. I'm finally seeing a therapist that specializes in PTSD and I'm getting the proper therapy now.
I had been in the darkest place of my life and two therapists denied that the work situation could do that to me.
The sad thing is is that the person that did this to me, did it to everyone in the office and also caused them much stress. She's some type of sadist that constantly has to be tormenting someone and her Daddy was the head of the Union, so nobody goes up against her.
What goes around in life comes around and cruel people will have Karma pay them back one day.
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