A family member owes money and will probably not pay back. How do you handle this? (brother, sister)
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most people that borrow money never repay you, they really mean can you spare some money?
I learned a long time ago to never lend anything, I already know they dont plan to return it
if they are so sure they can pay it back , why dont they get a loan from a bank? probably because they know they have no intention of repaying the money.
We lent money to my BIL to start a company that ultimately failed. This was many years ago, so we've long since written it off for the sake of family harmony. However, the fact that he has never mentioned it, nor apologized for not paying it back, has sealed our low opinion about his character. Once, in 2006, when my husband and I needed the money, we asked him to pay it back, but he said he couldn't remember that he hadn't, and still he has never mentioned it since.
My advice to myself and the OP is, live and learn.
A reply like that would really get my blood boiling, I would be absolutely furious. But, would have to let it go and learn from it.
The husband was involved in real estate and making a lot of money at one time.
A few years ago, real estate was soaring. A lot of people made money in it back then. I know I did. I retired from the business and cleaned out my involvement in it while the bubble was still growing.
Some people like your relative, did not and the bubble burst in real estate and if you were over extended you suddenly did not have the ability to keep going.
Property actually went down in value, and a lot of peoples holdings was in negative figures, owing more than the value of the property.
As I say, I saw trouble brewing and go out at near the top. Too many people did not, and some may never recover. I had two half million dollar open lines of credit. I could buy property with these funds without approval of the lender, and when I sold it off, I would pay off the loans. Your relative may have been doing the same, and did not get out while the getting was good.
Then suddenly he is broke. Borrowing money from anyone he can, just to stay alive, waiting for the good times to come back. In some areas of the country, the values did not fall as far as others, and the values are increasing getting the owners healthy financial wise again. In some others, they are still trying to recover. And a lot of high rollers from the past, may never recover.
You need to get them to set up a payment plan to pay each month some amount to bring down the debt. In addition, try and get them to turn over items of value to decrease the debt and you will apply those to interest and return them when the loan is repaid. Make this vehicles, artwork if they have any of value, etc. Make this a supportive conversation that will get things moving in the direction of them working with you to move forward.
It is worth a try for your mother to ask them to start to repay the loan(even if it is slowly). An extra $200 or $300 or $500 a month may be very helpful to your Mom. Even if they agree to pay your mom $30 every Friday the loan will always be on their minds and they may try to pay it off quicker.
Another poster suggested that perhaps they could help repair your mom's house to pay back part of the loan. Will that help?
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-07-2015 at 05:37 PM..
What kind of money are we talking about? $1,000, $10,000, $100,000? Is your mother from a culture where it is expected to help your family before you help yourself?
If your mother is a regular person living a regular life, I can't see EVER 'lending' money to people who lived an extravagant lifestyle, regardless of their current situation, unless they had done the same for her in the past.
Yes, the amount of money is important because that determines if small claims court can handle this. Otherwise I imagine it would take quite a bit of legal action/costs to recover.
mizzlea, your aunt and her husband are scumbags that will never repay the loan. You and your mother should tell everyone in the family never to loan money and avoid them. They never had any intention to payback the loan.
For your moms well being, she should forget about it and never associate with said scumbags. That money is long gone.
Why would you feel bad for them? They scammed your mother and you, and they are good at it.
They are pompous a-holes claiming to be victims. I hate people like that.
The husband was involved in real estate and making a lot of money at one time.
Then suddenly he is broke. Borrowing money from anyone he can, just to stay alive, waiting for the good times to come back. In some areas of the country, the values did not fall as far as others, and the values are increasing getting the owners healthy financial wise again. In some others, they are still trying to recover. And a lot of high rollers from the past, may never recover.
This may all be true, but even so these relatives are still scum-bags. They took advantage of the OP's mother & still have to gall to badmouth someone that lent them money. People like this are P.O.S.'s, and should be avoided at all costs.
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 08-07-2015 at 08:03 PM..
If it's a small amount, I'd blow it off to a life lesson. If it's a large enough amount to make a difference to me, I'd sue in small claims court (the cap on that is about $5,000, usually). If it's more than that (sheesh, I hope not), then she has to due in a district court, but that may be too costly.
It's a hassle, but she can do it, if she takes one step at a time. Even if it was more than $5k, maybe just suing in small claims court & getting a judgment for $5k would at least be SOMETHING.
She needs to be careful what she says in the original complaint she files. Some people don't realize how important that is. It's like sworn testimony, and any deviation from that in live testimony will call her credibility into question.
She'll need who called who about the money, the amount, the date they asked for $, the date she gave them the $, proof she gave money (hopefully it was a check or wire transfer....written records exist), text messages on her phone or email printouts. Look for anything that shows it was a loan and not a gift (deadbeats always say "it was a gift!"). IT'S IMPORTANT THAT SHE GIVES THE INFORMATION THAT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO PAY IT BACK WITHIN A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME (I think you said three months?). IT'S NOT A CONTRACT UNLESS THERE IS A TIME TO PAY IT BACK. In other words, how can they be in breach of their agreement, if there was no time stated to pay it back? If there was no time stated to pay it back, then they're not in breach of the agreement if they don't pay it back for 20 years!
She'll get a judgment. It's easy to record it in the county their house is in. She'll get the $ back whenever they try to sell their house or do some other important thing that a search of county records will reflect the bad debt. It's a judgment in their NAME....not a lien on their house or anything.
I wouldn't do the house repairs in exchange for the money, but that's her call. I think that would be opening a can of worms...how much is the work worth? Was it done correctly? Was it done timely? Plus they'd have to communicate, and now there's bad blood between them.
I would urge her to sue and not let it drop, if it's an amount that would make a difference to her. She needs that money. She's already lost money, since the VALUE of that money declines with inflation, and she has also lost any interest she would have gotten on it.
I wish her good luck, and hope she never does that again. She's probably naive and doesn't realize there are deadbeats like that in the world. Well, now she does.
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