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Old 08-14-2015, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Sydney, Australia
11,645 posts, read 12,848,034 times
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I thought it's easier for us to have other gay people as friends. It's harder to have straight guy friends, at least for me.
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Old 08-14-2015, 11:24 AM
 
2,269 posts, read 3,780,389 times
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Many straight men avoid having close gay friends for fear of being labeled gay themselves. This really became an issue when HIV came along, as many women fear being exposed via down low men. Also, most friendships develop around having common interests. Since the number one interest for most younger men tends to be women, that really is going to leave a gay guy on the outside. Usually, if a gay guy has straight male friends, they are usually people he grew up with, or a case where both parties have a very strong interest in some sort of activity, which gives them a reason to want to deal with each other.

I really can't speak to platonic gay relationships, although as has been mentioned, it would seem similar to platonic mixed gender friendships.
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Old 08-14-2015, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee, WI
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Same problem as straight guy being "friends" with straight girls... It surely exists, but it's about as rare.
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Old 08-14-2015, 12:58 PM
 
862 posts, read 1,188,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I know guys who've met friends through things like gay sports leagues or "movie bear" groups. But thinking about my friends and their friends, a lot of the friendships came from "let's just be friends"-type failed romantic encounters.

Those "bear" groups can be very hit or miss when it comes to making friends. When we lived in Virginia many years ago we were a part of the Richmond bear community. Despite the fact we had since moved to Colorado we still are friends with many guys in that group. Unfortunately can't say the same about Denver's bear community. Unless one is very political, makes "big bucks" and is 420 friendly a lot of the guys won't even talk to you. This can be especially tough for younger gay men ( "cubs" ). Just yesterday my partner was chatting with a 24 year old guy who tried to get involved with the local bear community but because he wasn't into marijuana way too many of the local bears here more/less ignored him. Now he is moving to Dallas hoping that their bear community is more accepting.
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Old 08-14-2015, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
11,936 posts, read 13,015,426 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mattee01 View Post
So I've been trying to make some gay friends, as I just moved to a new area and literally know no one, and I swear training to become an astronaut would be an easier job. The supply of gay males in the area doesn't seem to be an issue, but most seem to be motivated by their attraction to you or you being open to sex. I'm not looking for anything sexual, and I even make that clear, any relationship I find locally will be platonic now and most likely into the future. It just doesn't seem like anyone else is really on the same page. My feeling is that the reasoning stems from:

-Not being interested in developing friendships. They don't feel gay men make good friends for them, they think they already have enough friends, are DL, etc.
-If you're not sexually attractive to them then the friendship can't move forward.

Does anyone else have any opinions on why I'm having difficulty. Is it like this for most people, or is my situation unusual?
Why are you pigeon holing your friendships?

Can you not be friends with straight males and females?

Find friends that enjoy the same hobbies you enjoy.

I'm a straight female and my best friends are gay men.
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Old 08-14-2015, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Atlanta, Ga
2,490 posts, read 2,533,415 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Based on your many posts, it's because other gay males sense you want more than just friendship, and/or you are too needy.

Go do things by yourself; nobody can like you if you can't even stand being around yourself alone.
Who are you to act like you know me? Nothing about anywhere else I post is indicative of being needy or wanting something more. Maybe you should just refrain from commenting on my posts and mind your business.
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Old 08-14-2015, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Atlanta, Ga
2,490 posts, read 2,533,415 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
Why are you pigeon holing your friendships?

Can you not be friends with straight males and females?

Find friends that enjoy the same hobbies you enjoy.

I'm a straight female and my best friends are gay men.
I could, but how many straight males or females like to go to the gay bars/clubs, pride events? Sure some of the straight females might, but it's hard to find one who is under 35, no kids, without a lot of drama going on who is available to try and meet.
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Old 08-14-2015, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee, WI
3,367 posts, read 2,852,381 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mattee01 View Post
I could, but how many straight males or females like to go to the gay bars/clubs, pride events? Sure some of the straight females might, but it's hard to find one who is under 35, no kids, without a lot of drama going on who is available to try and meet.
Depends on the club and friends. Where I live, the hottest gay club LaCage, attracts a lot of straight guys/ ladies as well.
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Old 08-14-2015, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
18,370 posts, read 31,465,142 times
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most gay men become friends after sex.
most times its that one encounter, but then you become friends..................................
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Old 08-14-2015, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,218,718 times
Reputation: 50368
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow View Post
If sex isn't an issue, why are you limiting yourself to gay people?
I guess you would consider having most all of your friends be the opposite of you (if you're hetero, have all gay)? because then you'd have so much in common with them in terms of dating, and such? It's great having diverse friends, but all people want friends they have things in common with...don't you? Don't turn it into a "prejudice" thing.
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