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Haha to everyone who doesn't get to be like me.Moderator cut: edit
By the way, not trying to be offensive to YOU, but I prefer my emotional connections and lifestyle over what you describe. Hope you're as happy as I am.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-17-2015 at 06:15 AM..
Reason: Thread title has been edited
It sounds like you have a medical condition where your body does not produce sufficient hormones. Not to worry, natural selection will exclude your kind from the gene pool.
Being aromantic or asexual is normal and nothing to do with reproducing. Many a-people have spouses or/ and families.
Moderator cut: orphaned response
By the way, congratulations you just labeled yourself without any help from random strangers on a public forum,
Carry on.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-17-2015 at 06:19 AM..
Limits between aromantic and psychopath are thin.Too less emotional is not good.
Being aromantic is total ok just look you don't keep it as excuse to hurt your partners and people generally.
Moderator cut: orphaned
No they're not thin at all. They are entirely different things. Psychopaths are people who don't care if they hurt people. As an aromantic, I can think of one or two girls who may have had crushes on me who I may have hurt...but if I did hurt them (and I don't know that I did) it was because I was trying to treat them exactly how I'd want to be treated. There's a big difference between thinking "I'm going to cheat on 40 different women because that's what I want to do" and my mentality of "Oh, gosh, I want to be loved by everyone and good friends with everyone and I like playing with my three year old cousin and picking him and telling him he's flying."
In any case, compared to probably most people who do feel love, I'm a lot more careful about hurting people's feelings. I don't need to be with anyone...so I'm not. You folks need to be with someone or you turn miserable, and sometimes finding that person necessitates hurting people along the way.
I have absolutely no idea why people get upset when other single men talk to their girlfriends too much. I have absolutely no idea, on an emotional level, why people get hurt from breakups. I have no idea why people get such strong bonds with each other and why it hurts so much to break them, but I understand friendship, and I try to obey cultural rules I don't understand because I like most people I know, and they seem to appreciate these bizarre cultural rules I don't understand.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-17-2015 at 06:20 AM..
It sounds like you have a medical condition where your body does not produce sufficient hormones. Not to worry, natural selection will exclude your kind from the gene pool.
Well...you know what? We're going to help trash up your planet before we go, so there.
Yeah...I hope it's not unhealthy, but mutations and little malfunctions aren't necessarily a bad thing either.
I hardly know where to start, so I'll just start by saying, "Wow. It's so much more than what you just described."
I've always been very monogamous. Never "cheated on" anyone. And I love being married to another very monogamous person.
Sure - we have a romantic attraction to each other, if by "romantic" you mean enjoying intimacy together on many levels, from sex to simply leaving a little note for the other person to find or sending the other person a racy email, or buying each other presents, enjoying a date night, etc...
I basically have had the same experience for the last 35 years but it only works because I have many close friends of both sexes. I need the intellectual and emotional stimulation. So does my wife. We go out into the world and bring back ideas, people, and things for each other.
No they're not thin at all. They are entirely different things. Psychopaths are people who don't care if they hurt people. As an aromantic, I can think of one or two girls who may have had crushes on me who I may have hurt...but if I did hurt them (and I don't know that I did) it was because I was trying to treat them exactly how I'd want to be treated. There's a big difference between thinking "I'm going to cheat on 40 different women because that's what I want to do" and my mentality of "Oh, gosh, I want to be loved by everyone and good friends with everyone and I like playing with my three year old cousin and picking him and telling him he's flying."
Do you really not see that when you talk about your interactions with other people (I started to say "relationships" but changed it), it's all about what's in it for you and you alone? Even when you're playing with your cousin, it's because YOU enjoy it - not a word about playing with him because HE enjoys it. When you talk about affection, it's only the affection YOU receive, not the affection you give.
This is what sociopaths do - hate to break it to you but it's true. Sociopaths are very capable of showing what seems like affection - but it's only to accomplish their own goals. Once those goals are met, they move on, leaving a trail of destruction behind them that they simply cannot seem to comprehend. Why is everyone so upset? Weren't they having a good time together for awhile?
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In any case, compared to probably most people who do feel love, I'm a lot more careful about hurting people's feelings. I don't need to be with anyone...so I'm not. You folks need to be with someone or you turn miserable, and sometimes finding that person necessitates hurting people along the way.
You can't and don't live in an antiseptic bubble. Take, for example, your little cousin. When you play with him, and laugh with him, he thinks you're doing this because you love him and love spending time with him. He has no idea that you are only grooving on what's fun to YOU. One day he will become a gnarly teenager, and he won't be nearly as much fun - he won't run to see you, jump up in your arms, throw his little arms around your neck. He may even act sullen around you, or be difficult to communicate with. But he will still need love and nurturing and he will (mistakenly) think that you love him. I feel really sorry for him, because as soon as he's not fun to be around, you're outta there.
Quote:
I have absolutely no idea why people get upset when other single men talk to their girlfriends too much. I have absolutely no idea, on an emotional level, why people get hurt from breakups. I have no idea why people get such strong bonds with each other and why it hurts so much to break them, but I understand friendship, and I try to obey cultural rules I don't understand because I like most people I know, and they seem to appreciate these bizarre cultural rules I don't understand.
My friend, you honestly do sound like a sociopath. This is not something to be proud of. This does not make you superior to other people (like your original title implied).
The only thing I can suggest is that you try to limit your intimate relationships to other sociopaths. They're out there, I promise you. Go for it.
I do have one question for you. You say you want to be "a good friend" to everyone. Can you humor me and tell me what your definition of being a good friend actually is?
I'm finding myself to be not "aromantic" but perhaps "postromantic."
For most of my life, I was motivated strongly by romantic love. Even when not in a relationship, and was always in love with someone (sometimes even secretly). So I was not born this way. But after my last long term relationship, which lasted about 14 years, I now don't feel that need.
It's not out of hurt or bitterness. I'm not sulking; I'm not in denial. I actually feel like I've been freed of something that, while pleasurable, was also a big distraction from my finding my true path in life. I realize that others would still try to say that I must just be in deep denial, that I really have a need for a romantic relationship, but perhaps because I've been hurt or disappointed, I'm repressing it. But I self-examine a lot, and part of good self-examining is exploring feelings that might be repressed, to see if they resonate. I've tried and tried to explore that, and no, it does not bring up feelings that something repressed and denied would.
I never wanted children, not even when I was a child, so I haven't had to deal with that drive. It's not like I've had problems forming or sustaining long tern relationships. On the contrary, I've been in long term committed monogamous relationships, which were full of sharing, equality, and reciprocity. During times when I was single (and when I was a teen) I always had someone I was in love with, and I spent so much time and energy thinking about that person, trying to send "signals," analyzing every interaction I had with them to try to figure out if they liked me, dreaming about the person, wishing they would feel the same way. Now it seems like such wasted energy. When I was in relationships, I would also pour a lot of energy into that other person. I was/am very big on time alone and not being together constantly, but even when apart from my partner, I would always still have him in mind.
In the last couple of years, I haven't had another person--a partner or a target of my affection--to focus so much of my energy on, and like I said, it's liberating. If I stumble into someone in the future who seems "right" and we have mutual feelings, then that would be fine. But I feel no need to go looking. A few years ago, I would have thought that a person saying this was "in denial" or that they had a sad life. But I am happier than ever.
Not that I would qualitatively compare love to addiction (maybe only in a few ways) but it feels like I've kicked some habit like smoking, and now I no longer feel the cravings, and now I'm spending my money on things that are better than cigarettes.
Last edited by Tracysherm; 08-17-2015 at 11:00 AM..
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