Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Are you 2? Just because you call/text, doesn't mean the recipient is obligated to change his/her priorities and answer your call right now. This is not Sesame Street where everything must happen in 2 second bursts; it's life.
And what makes you believe that everyone has a phone with them? I have a cell phone, but I call it the car phone - and that's where it remains. Don't call it because the car doesn't know how to answer calls. It is my phone and I pay for it so I get to use it when it is convenient for ME, not for you (and the same goes for a landline).
I am not tethered to my phone, controlled by my phone, or controlled by other people's demands on my time. I prioritize my time and responding to someone else's needs are handled as what they are: an intrusion on my time.
However, in the OP's situation where a tentative time was made to meet, checking for a text or missed message should have been a priority.
Does the OP have a "right" to be miffed? Nope - don't know where it became a right. Is there reason to be miffed? mildly annoyed but not much more given what the OP knows about the relative. I don't think there's enough annoyance factor to have given it enough thought to stress over it this long (12 hours). Move on.
I want to make sure I tread very carefully, I wish to NOT do any of the following: "baiting, trolling, bashing, personally attacking" etc. I wish to address the ATTITUDES or BEHAVIORS and NOT the PERSON and I wish to make my arguments in a civil way yet still in a passionate and "outspoken" way.
I totally understand the desire to not be at someone's beck and call 24/7 and to not have to justify to someone why it may have taken awhile to answer the phone. In my case, I enjoy the water a lot, and this time of the year, when it's warm enough, I enjoy the water all I can, especially now that we're about 6-8 weeks from it becoming too cold to do so any longer. I don't necessarily think I need to inform somebody every time I go into the water along the lines of "from approximately 12:00 to 12:20 I will be in the water and unavailable." No, what happens happens. A similar thing can occur if I'm bicycling, which I do on occasion. As for work, while I can use my phone at work, I can't do so as liberally as I can when I'm not at work and it may take awhile, or I may quickly answer but get rid of you quickly with the idea that we'll talk later (I did that just last night).
Now, I may not feel the need to justify those situations to someone, and in fact I might even possibly be miffed if someone felt that I needed to (seriously, I quite likely would), yet even then I have an app on my phone to where if someone calls or texts during such periods, they will get an "autoreply" similar to those you get in email saying "I'm out of the office until x day or x hour and won't be available until that date/time." I will say that while I'm not going to be one to necessarily lecture someone for not doing such a thing themselves, I think having such a setup is a good idea, and not something that one should be harsh towards the idea of possibly setting up. I've used it at work if it was an exceptionally busy day and I couldn't take any calls except really important ones, and turned the phone on vibrate and focused on my work.
I get it.
Those sorts of situations notwithstanding, I stand by what I said--yes, to me, people are morally obligated to return calls from others in a reasonable time frame unless life really is "being life" as it were in a very intense sort of way. To me, a person should not look at this sort of thing with the attitude of "I pay for a phone, it is for MY convenience and people calling me is an intrusion into my time."
Again, I am speaking of an ATTITUDE, not of a PERSON, but I do consider that attitude to be one that is pretty much self-centered and inconsiderate of others. This is not the type of people we should strive to be, or be proud of being. Paradoxically, I have actually seen some such people become annoyed at "people bugging me on my freaking phone every minute," yet then turn around and become upset if someone takes too long to return their call. Are you serious? That attitude is definitely very self-centered to me.
Again, it has nothing to do with being "controlled by people's demands." Again to me that attitude is wrong, I am not looking to attack anyone as a person, please understand me, I am speaking of the attitude. A person calling and looking for a reply within a reasonable period of time (not necessarily 2 seconds) is not something that I think should be considered some sort of "intrusion." It should be looked at as part of humans interacting each other. Cellular phones were invented so that quick and timely communication could be facilitated, no longer did we have to wait until someone returned home to know we called, and no longer did we need to be home when they called back. Yes there are some boundaries which are good to draw so that things don't get crazy, but by and large I think it's a good thing and I think one should think of others and how they can be helpful vs being "flaky" as the original poster's relative is totally being.
You don't know why she didn't text. Perhaps her phone battery died and she couldn't respond, she was in an area which doesn't get service or her phone was turned off.
Yes it is disappointing and definitely aggravating. It sounded from your OP that you were trying to meet up, not definitely meeting up. She could meet Sunday morning and you could not. Personally I wouldn't get bent out of shape about it.
I know how to use a phone just fine. We both text. We prefer texting. We live in the 21st century.
Well, it seems that in the 21st century it's pretty easy to rely on non-personal, unreliable forms of communication and end up missing a get together with your friend.
Based on your statement, I think you are only one step away from re-identifying yourself as a carbon-based droid and adopting electronic transmissions as your sole form of communication.
If this entire setup relied on texts and no one ever said lets meet at this place at this time, then NO, you have no right to be pissed. When I make plans with someone I know when and where, and I'm there on time. This sounds more like a series of vague, hey let's get together texts, non of which were firm plans.
Well, before getting miffed, it might be interesting to see if she actually got the texts. Sometimes for some strange reason, texts will sometimes show up hours or days later than when they were sent. Of course, that might just be my phone and not yours, but when time is critical, don't rely on texts.
Texts have their place, but they shouldn't be your only means of communication. (Well, of course not, there's always FB, too, now isn't there?) Bwhaahahahaha!
Back in the stone age it was "all these channels and nothing to watch" now it's "all this connectedness and no communication".
As for having a "right" to be miffed? You can or not as you choose, don't see as how it's gonna do anything other than make you upset and why you'd want to choose that, I dunno.
This would have been a calling situation. Your phone does make calls, right?
I'm not big on phone calls either, and I prefer to text. But in this case, I would have been calling.
You think that calling will automatically elicit a response? I never take calls, my phone is always on vibrate...I will check texts. If someone's a flake and perhaps avoiding someone it is just as easy to ignore a phone call - phones and phone calls aren't magic like in the "old days" (pre-1930?)
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 3,030,069 times
Reputation: 3911
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
You think that calling will automatically elicit a response? I never take calls, my phone is always on vibrate...I will check texts. If someone's a flake and perhaps avoiding someone it is just as easy to ignore a phone call - phones and phone calls aren't magic like in the "old days" (pre-1930?)
That's me to a "T". If I don't answer your text right that second I'm dang sure not going to answer the phone when you immediately call(except family). Oh and the people who don't leave a text or message but continue to call over and over hoping to pester you into answering the phone. Yeah there's a special place in hell for them. After someone pulls a stunt like that, I definitely have no intentions of responding back.
I'd be pissed, but would have made other plans as soon as I figured that I wasn't getting a response (you waited too long in my view). I've had people blow me off like that, but I am not going to sit around waiting hours for you to respond to my attempts at making contact. No, I'll move on with my day/life. Not to say that I won't forgive them, but I'll view them as not so reliable (that is, assuming they didn't have a legitimate reason for not answering).
I know how to use a phone just fine. We both text. We prefer texting. We live in the 21st century.
If you prefer texting to talking, what is the point in meeting up in person?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yeah there's a special place in hell for them. After someone pulls a stunt like that, I definitely have no intentions of responding back.
