I have experienced social rejection since childhood! Is this normal? (children, gossip)
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I believe it's a vicious circle (or cycle; whichever it is). One you sense social rejection, you become fearful of social rejection, and that makes you behave socially awkwardly, which results in more social rejection, making you even more fearful of social rejection, etc. You begin to interpret small slights as rejection and overreact and so on. The self-fulfilling prophecy. Not sure how you get out of that once you're in it except through an experience of being accepted unconditionally, and good luck with that!
Personally, I've always felt that people can almost smell or sense when you're on the skids socially and avoid you. It's like the weak or injured animal in the herd or the "everybody loves a winner" syndrome.
I'm kind of the same way; people either love me or hate me. I'm honest and tend to be a critical of culture and don't sugar-coat anything or try to ingratiate myself to anyone, so I'm not exactly "popular." I'd like to be well-liked, but not enough to change who I am or how I approach life, so...
I have not read all the posts, but my feeling is that the OP needs to see a professional to sort this out. "Dr. I feel like nobody likes me."
She has a few red flags, to me.
She was raised without her mother. check
She was lavished with praise and attention for no reason. check
There are probably a few more things evident in her post, but these are enough for starters.
I feel like, deep down, she is an unhappy person, and some therapy might help her feel better about herself. Others sense when there is something defective about a person.
People do not like brutal honesty because it is hurtful. No one wants to be around someone who says hurtful things.
Also, not caring about what others think is not conducive to developing good friendships. If you behave as if you don't give a sh*t about others, that's how they will behave toward you, too. When you are friends with someone, you should care about their feelings and opinions. There can be no true friendship without respect, empathy, and deep connection between the two parties.
Keep your opinions to yourself and be nice to everyone. If someone is rude to you, then you can speak your piece. Otherwise, just let people be who they are. It's not your job to go around telling people the brutal & honest truth about themselves. If you don't like them, don't hang around them; there's no need to tear others down because they're not your cup of tea. Just keep on going. It's as simple as that.
I honestly don't care what anyone thinks of me. I do what I want and live life on my own terms. Apparently it's not socially acceptable to be sure of yourself.
If you live life on your own terms, then what's the problem? You've made your choices. Other people aren't required to like them.
Do you still live in the same small town? If so, move away and start fresh. You can always move back later. It sounds like you didn't get the normal "social shaping" that kids get from their peers and non-relatives (i.e. feedback on their behavior).
But I still feel a sense of understanding. I'm not arrogant but am off putting too. I am not looking to steal your solutions just letting you know I've met a lot of poor little rich girls and boys and that loneliness is something financial stability can't buy.
I get the feeling if you tone down the brutal/maybe arrogant traits you'd find some real friends.
I have not read all the posts, but my feeling is that the OP needs to see a professional to sort this out. "Dr. I feel like nobody likes me."
She has a few red flags, to me.
She was raised without her mother. check
She was lavished with praise and attention for no reason. check
There are probably a few more things evident in her post, but these are enough for starters.
I feel like, deep down, she is an unhappy person, and some therapy might help her feel better about herself. Others sense when there is something defective about a person.
Raised without mother
tough but I got no inkling her praise and attention was for no reason they simply loved her for her. Even stepmama changed.
I'm little unhappy I rarely get favored but counselors either lavish praise and attention, are brutally honest or ignore me.
I definitely think something about my personality is "off putting" but I just have never been able to put my finger on it. I don't understand what people want from me. I am brutally honest, straight forward, kind and I have always given freely.
I think you need to go live in L.A or Miami Beach...be around like minded people. I don't think your bad you are just a certain type of person. Leave that small town live somewhere else for awhile, and see if the same problems pop up...but I think if u go where "the beautiful people " live you will feel better.
I honestly don't care what anyone thinks of me. I do what I want and live life on my own terms. Apparently it's not socially acceptable to be sure of yourself.
BINGO!!!!
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a differing opinion
