Do you ever wish you were extroverted? (husband, senior, house)

[Ralph_Kirk]

Originally Posted by cindersslipper

I think theres a major disconnect between introversion and Social Anxiety.

You can be an extrovert with major SA, and an introvert entirely devoid of it.

Very true. Many people think social anxiety is the same thing as introversion, but it is not at all.

[Ralph_Kirk]

I thought of the Living Years, too, from that remark.

[silibran]

Originally Posted by tairos

Of course. Any introvert in the United States that doesn't is fooling himself. Everything is better for extroverts. Everything. They go further in their careers, and get better careers too. Less actual work and substance is expected of them (often none at all). They get more women. They get more respect and approbation generally. They're not driven insane by the banality of the hoi poli (because they are the banality of the hoi poli, typically). It goes on.

There are loads of generalizations here. Family members are introverts, and they get along on their jobs quite well. I do disagree that less work is required of them, especially in the present work climate. I can't really say whether "they" get more women. (What kind of women do they "get?")

I think very competent introverts are respected. I disagree with what you say about this.

I also think people on these threads who are bemoaning how their lot in life is so awful because they are introverts, are probably experiencing social anxiety. I do agree that social anxiety, or inexperience in navigating social situations, is a disadvantaging characteristic. But in general, IMO, introversion is not, unless an extreme introvert is trying to sell something.

[Den0190]

So I would want to pointlessly chatter about absolutely nothing everyday all day? No thanks.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Den0190

So I would want to pointlessly chatter about absolutely nothing everyday all day? No thanks.

Now, now, be nice. You wouldn't want an extrovert to say something stereotypical and ignorant about introverts, would you?

[JrzDefector]

Originally Posted by Ralph_Kirk

Very true. Many people think social anxiety is the same thing as introversion, but it is not at all.

I have all kinds of social anxiety due to my ADD. It had me convinced I was an introvert until I learned to manage it. And I sure do like my alone time!

But I come away from social interactions - especially with large groups of my friends - energized and joyful. There were 60 people at my 30th birthday party and a good chunk of them ended up following me home from the restaurant to continue the party for several more hours. If they'd have stayed over to continue hanging out for another day, i'd have been fine with that.

But sometimes, if I'm feeling out of sorts, interacting with strangers can freak me out. It happens far less now that I've figured out how my ADD works, but it still happens.

I do need my alone time, but give me 30 minutes on the couch with a book, and I'm generally fine.

[maciesmom]

No, I'm perfectly fine being an introvert who is also social.
I like people, enjoy parties and have many friends.
However, at the end of the day, most social interactions drain me. I need my alone time/ downtime to regroup. I'm always confounded by friends/relatives who leave the TV or radio on 24/7 so they don't feel alone. I find a quiet house to be peaceful and rejuvenating.

[Larry Siegel]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

No, I'm perfectly fine being an introvert who is also social.
I like people, enjoy parties and have many friends.
However, at the end of the day, most social interactions drain me. I need my alone time/ downtime to regroup. I'm always confounded by friends/relatives who leave the TV or radio on 24/7 so they don't feel alone. I find a quiet house to be peaceful and rejuvenating.

You're describing an introvert-extravert, which is what am too.

I love conversations and dinners with friends, and I enjoy talking - mostly to smart people - about things that matter to me. But I like to curl up with a good book when it's over.

Our society rewards extraversion so much that I sometimes wish I were more on that side of the spectrum, but I care less and less and I get older.

[Bluesmama]

I am very introverted and do admit to wishing I was a little less so. But only a little. There are some postive things to be introverted and I appreciate them.

[jazzcat22]

For the past several years I have gone beyond wishing I was extroverted----I actually decided to ignore my introversion and proceed with life as if I were an extrovert. This was mostly due to a somewhat gregarious nature and repeatedly reading about how social connections are so crucial to mental and physical health. So I have been trying hard to be very social, getting together with friends multiple times a week, sometimes one on one or sometimes in Meetup groups.

But it's been taking its toll on me. I have been getting so drained. It's like the moment I start to socialize, even if it's people I like, I'm in a taxicab and the meter has started ticking, wracking up a high cost...but we aren't even moving! In my case, I just feel my energy zapped and not getting much/anything in return, like warm fuzzies, interesting conversation or experiences. I feel lonelier when I socialize than I do when I'm alone since the interaction is never as deep or affirming as I would like.

So at the ripe old age of 61, I am now going to honor my introversion. I won't be a total hermit/recluse, but I'm going to limit my interaction and do those things that energize me or sustain me on an even keel (reading, cooking, exercising, etc.). I no longer care what the experts say about the need for social interaction. Maybe my need is much less than the average person's. And if I find it aggravating and if it takes away from what I love doing and feel fulfilled doing, then who's to say it is beneficial for me even if it is okay for Ambivert Amy or Extrovert Emily?