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I hate parties. I hate having people in my home. I have very few friends and no one I would call a best friend. I would rather wait for the dvd than go to a movie with other people. Crowded places irritate me.
I spend most days alone in my house, until dd comes home from school and dh from work. There are days I only go outside to walk the dog.
I'm not afraid of going out. I'm not anxious or panicked. I just don't want to - I'm perfectly happy to be alone. I'm happy to not interact with strangers.
Yes. There really isn't an upside to being as reserved as me. This is an extroverted society and we are extroverted creatures... Very hard to be happy as an introvert.
No, I don't want to be extroverted. I like not having to rely on external stimuli for energy, and what goes on in my own head is usually infinitely more interesting than whatever comes out of an extrovert's constantly blabbering mouth. (Said the INTJ.)
I agree with the posters that state that the labels are imprecise. Many introverts have highly developed social and presentation skills and interact very well with diverse people, the difference is that it is far more draining on them than extroverts.
My husband is an introvert, but he's not the least bit shy. He's confident but somewhat reserved, he doesn't feel the need to fill silences or to share every random musing. He's well liked because loud mouth shnooks don't realize how much they dominate conversations.
I'm extroverted in every meaning of the word, including the worst manifestations (I can be loud and overbearing).
My observations are that on senior management teams where everyone is expected to share their perspective on key issues most organizations significantly under expect from introverts. Extroverts are expected to listen better etc., but there is rarely the same requirement to step up and engage in contentious debate if someone is an introvert. For extroverts, very reserved people are our "difficult people" at work because we don't know where they're coming from, and if they don't speak up when given the chance we assume they're in agreement.
IMO opinion every single person should be expected to develop both sides of the communication coin, strong listening skills (harder for some extroverts) and strong verbal skills (harder for some introverts).
I agree with the posters that state that the labels are imprecise. Many introverts have highly developed social and presentation skills and interact very well with diverse people, the difference is that it is far more draining on them than extroverts.
My husband is an introvert, but he's not the least bit shy. He's confident but somewhat reserved, he doesn't feel the need to fill silences or to share every random musing. He's well liked because loud mouth shnooks don't realize how much they dominate conversations.
I'm extroverted in every meaning of the word, including the worst manifestations (I can be loud and overbearing).
My observations are that on senior management teams where everyone is expected to share their perspective on key issues most organizations significantly under expect from introverts. Extroverts are expected to listen better etc., but there is rarely the same requirement to step up and engage in contentious debate if someone is an introvert. For extroverts, very reserved people are our "difficult people" at work because we don't know where they're coming from, and if they don't speak up when given the chance we assume they're in agreement.
IMO opinion every single person should be expected to develop both sides of the communication coin, strong listening skills (harder for some extroverts) and strong verbal skills (harder for some introverts).
The best way for introverts to handle situations like that is to raise their hand slightly and when all eyes are on them, say, "If I may... Has anyone thought of/considered the possibility that [glorious idea the introvert formulated in his or her mind while nodding and pretending to listen to all the meaningless blather about weekends or golf or whatever people waste the first 10 minutes of meetings with]?"
And then sit back and try not to grin when everyone gives you that deer-in-the-headlights look, blinks, and says, "Sayyy, that's a GREAT idea!"
Are you and introvert who sometimes wishes they were more "out there"? Do you ever wish you were "that friend" that goes around bragging about having done all the coolest and wildest things lately? Do you want to be the friend that lives most like a celebrity, or is that "not your style"?
note: this is NOT to say introverts are less inclined to be risk-takers or have fun.
No, I do not wish I were an extrovert. If I had to maintain my so-called "cool" status, I'd go nuts and would probably become an over medicated simpleton. Also, those who brag about having done all the coolest things are usually lying. They are looking for acceptance among their peers.
I will remain out of sight. It's more my style and I prefer to have people in my life who genuinely want to be there.
Are you and introvert who sometimes wishes they were more "out there"? Do you ever wish you were "that friend" that goes around bragging about having done all the coolest and wildest things lately? Do you want to be the friend that lives most like a celebrity, or is that "not your style"?
note: this is NOT to say introverts are less inclined to be risk-takers or have fun.
Naaah.
And I can appear quite extroverted when I want to be.
That "psychologically recharge" thing is an interesting question.
I have long noticed that I get energy from being around people.
On the other hand I crave alone time.
We are all essentially extrovert, because we are all primates. We NEED to live in a group.
I think this may be why people who label themselves "introvert" feel Social Anxiety in the first place.
They don't feel it because theyd much rather be on a desert island, they feel it because they crave the interaction but cant quite get a handle on it for one reason or another, and wonder why it bothers them so much. It bothers them because we're primates, designed to live with other people.
I was raised in a very abusive home also, and traditionally Outside The Home was SAFER for me, as filled with strangers as it is. I believe this is why I do not experience any sort of social fear as an adult at least.
I had one of each parent too - one extrovert, the other not.
I take after the extroverted parent, my dad.
I know that as deep as it can run, I'm an introvert. I know we descend from animals who lived in a group, but you have to differenchiate between associating with others over basic needs and because you choose to. There area and were things which need fellow creatures, like protection. People like to live in towns and cities rather than in the middle of nowhere because there are services available and someone is watching out for you. This doesn't mean that you can't be a true introvert. You still carve out YOUR space and keep others out of it and feel comfortable in that, but not in the other places. We choose not be social in a lot of other ways. The idea that someone who feels they are an introvert feels social anxiety is way off. The only anxiety is there are too many people, too much noise and not enough space so you leave.
I don't think we're designed to live with other people, but do so purely out of needs outside ourselves. Some people want the company and the sharing. Others just fill basic physical needs. Think of food, for instance. We survive better food wise with a group. There are those who grow it and those who bring it to your area and some who even prepare it for you. And yet you aren't required to eat it with anyone, or even cook your meal with a group. You can get a burger and sit alone in the peace of the park. How you choose to consume this food is what identifies you as an introvert, not the need for a group to maintain a good supply of it.
Yes. There really isn't an upside to being as reserved as me. This is an extroverted society and we are extroverted creatures... Very hard to be happy as an introvert.
Only if you swallow the coolaide that says its better to be an extrovert and you have to pretend. If your really an introvert that is the last thing you should do. It will make you miserable. If you grow up enough you can accept yourself AS YOU ARE then you can be most peaceful and happy within. If extroverts see you sitting in the corner reading and ignoring the 'fun' and *assume* you must be missing something and have some issue they miss the point. All you miss is the nice quiet you'd rather have but are probably waiting for something before you can go.
I was supposed to 'socialize' when I was in this program. The people there were utterly boring. So I was making a king sized bed cover, crocheting it, and it took a LOT of space. I brought it, covered the entire unoccupied couch in a generally empty room, waited until I had finished a whole row, packed up and left. Never said a word to anyone. Became comfortably invisible to the boring people.
Of course, if I ran into someone who was passionate about crocheting and does their own we could talk for hours and never be bored.
Yes. There really isn't an upside to being as reserved as me. This is an extroverted society and we are extroverted creatures... Very hard to be happy as an introvert.
I have zero problem being happy as an introvert. Introversion is not the same thing as social anxiety. I can operate very well in a social environment...but I'm happy as a clam when I have a chance to be a clam.
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