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often customers will be deliberately rude to get the worker to react so they can file a complaint and get them fired. its just plain evil but that is the case.
a second form of evil even more common is to bait the employee to get a negative reaction and then threaten management in an attempt to get concessions from the manager.
when you join us, the 46% that work, you are now "it" and the game is pin the tail on the donkey.
I'm curious though, when confronted with people that are very rude or treat you unfairly how do you usually react?
Don't accept that you are responsible for how others act. And don't assume anything you did caused them to react poorly, unless you KNOWINGLY did it.
How people act is more about who they are and not who you are. Jerks will always be jerks. No sense wasting any time on trying to make them feel good about themselves. Once they know they cannot control you, they stop trying.
I worked a series of temporary clerical jobs for a while until one of the companies hired me and gave me my own office as a researcher.
There were three execs there. We all worked for the managing partner. This was a Big 8 consulting company, sort of like Arthur Andersen.
One day one of the execs called me into his office. I had no clue why. He had me close the door, then he launched into a vicious tirade about how I wasn't doing my job and I was this close to being fired. I was terrified. It didn't even occur to me that this creep couldn't fire me. I started crying. He told me to go home and think about what he'd said. We would meet again tomorrow.
So I did think about it. I realized that despite his superficially friendly behavior, he was a petty little man who liked bullying people. I knew that he expected to reduce me to tears again and resolved not to let that happen.
The next day he started in on the threats again. I smiled and said nothing. It stopped him in his tracks. I motioned to him to continue. My smile turned into a grin. He got rattled and demanded to know what was up. I kept grinning as I got up and left.
He never bothered me again.
Over the years I've developed a thick enough skin that bullies don't bother with me. They seek out the weak and helpless.
You don't have to. But then begs the question why respond?
Here's the context:
The customer was irate about her premium going up, and the woman was in her fifties as a long time customer, in any case because my sister was explaining to her why her premium went up the woman tried to demean her and her professionalism. Now my sister has frequently gotten told she looks like a teenager because she's 4ft11, with a petite body, and a kid looking face, even when she dresses up she looks like a teen. When she told me the story I was surprised but yes this happened.
Furthermore I'm not a troll and would not waste my time making up this story-for what purpose?
Now if you don't believe it don't post but please spare me the whole "that can't possibly happen". Yes it can. People can be just that rude.
AH yes. people can get quite rude when complaining about price. Some I am sure think they can bully me to reduce their rate. My reply is the computer tells me what to charge. It does not ask me what I want to charge.
The first thing that manager should have done is throw that customer out and tell her not to come into the store again. I've worked where managers will stand up for their employees and I would not stay at a job where the manager doesn't. Part of the reason for that is you run a real risk of getting fired if you stand up for yourself. Although, there are many places where if the customers start to swear at you, you are allowed to terminate that conversation and get a manager to take over, if one isn't already there.
One thing is never let a bully see you upset. Part of the reason adults bully others is because they like to see how much they can get to you. If you cry, it makes them feel good. Don't give them the pleasure. One way to deal with it is to be extra nice. And remember, "ma'am" means b**ch. So feel free to call any nasty customer ma''am as often as you like. It works with 'sir', too. Hold up your little finger when scratching your head. Showing someone your little finger instead of the middle one means you don't care to send the very best. What you're trying to do is keep yourself psychologically one up on anyone that tries to bully you.
As an adult, if I run across another adult, or even a teenager who tries to run me down, I do one of two things. I either cut them off, turn my back, and walk away (they hate that), or I give it right back to them. I have a big mouth these days and I don't keep it shut to save someone else's feelings if they decide to dump on me. What I do is make them sorry they started. As long as I don't lift a hand to hit someone, I can be just as nasty right back to them as they are to me.
That customer was out of line, yes. But dishing it right back is stupid. Are they worth getting fired? You're the one who is supposed to be a professional, not them. Sometimes that will mean maintaining your composure when assisting a douche. You're the one getting paid, not them.
There are many things you can do that are not doormat behavior. You can smile your way through it. You can say "Let's get back to your claim. Now where were we?" You can say "I don't think this conversation is appropriate, and we need to circle back to your claim". You can act like you have selective hearing loss. You can talk yourself through it "This woman has no class, but I'm all class, and I won't stoop to her level".
These are all tactics you can employ, and I know it is easier said than done. I've worked in retail for most of my life. But it's better not to do something you will later regret, or to lose your job, than to feel good for a few minutes.
If i'm extremely stressed out, have gotten no sleep, i usually cry. Can't stop myself.
The last time this happened was when this police officer i was working with as an "equal" reamed me out over nothing. I at least kept it together until i got off the phone with him.
No wait- it was when HR called me in to illegally ***** at me about my sleep disorder. I was sooo sleep deprived that i fell apart right in front of them.
The customer sounds unstable, perhaps some sort of mental illness? I can understand your sister being so shocked that she couldn't say anything b/c that was not a normal situation. Sometimes it is better just to remove yourself from the crazy person b/c nothing you do is going to help. Eventually this person will put herself in a situation that will not be good and she will probably be forced to deal with her anger.
If it 'would' happen...practicing a come back line is imp so you don't miss your chance.
Me?
Look puzzled and say, "How do you live with yourself?" or "How do you sleep at night?"
Shake my head, and say. "My God, I'm glad I'm not you."
You could add,"...and was raised right..."
"Who raised you? Monkeys?" or fill in the blank..."foster homes?
Wolves? Alcoholics?"
"I'm so sorry you were abused as a child and now want to abuse everyone in sight...
because it's wrong. And won't help your inner pain."
Now if they answer quickly back to something (about 'sleeping just fine'..)
...Add, "Well I don't know how you could because God is NOT proud of you today!"
The main thing is to practice these lines, then pivot and walk away...getting the last word in.
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