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you never EVER tell anybody you're applying for a job. Not your sister, not any of your friends, not your cousins...not the waitress at the restaurant.You never know who they'll tell.Maybe they'll apply for it themselves. "Friends" can turn on you. She's no longer your friend.No way would I ever trust her.I would make her an ex-friend.I would just drop her.Yes. You can't tell her anything.She's a blabber mouth but you are also a bit naive.
It will be interesting to see if he gets the job and if he can keep it. But who knows he probably didn't even apply for it or show up if he gets an interview.
Yes I hope you are doing something positive for your depression. MN has a lot of counseling avenues available, please try some till you get one that helps.
Thanks for all your guidance.
Sometimes, people on CityData can be of greater help to me than people in my in-person life.
I appreciate it, truly.
I am upset about this situation.
However, she was honest and tried(s) to make amends.
It is a difficult balance.
Here's the text she wrote:
"I hope you don't get mad at me but I have something to tell you. So my sister and her boyfriend live together. And it seems like her boyfriend keeps going from job to job and she's not happy. I love my sister and I want to see her happy so I told her about that posting. I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me. If you're mad, let me know how I can fix it. You're one of my good friends and I don't want to lose you. I feel bad! What I did was kind of messed up."
Yes, I am struggling with depression at the moment. Money, cars, work and all the stuff in my life. I wish I'd never wake up some mornings. I'm all alone here, sitting at home, reliving all my past traumas...
But back to this, I am not sure if I can consider her a friend again but maybe a good acquaintance.
Someone above raised an issue between honesty > = < Loyalty?
Which is more important? I don't know.
No one is perfect. To me it sounds like she opened her mouth without thinking and then realized it after the fact. She could have never said a word to you about it and you would have never known but instead she decided to be honest because it obviously bothered her.
I think it's reasonable to be annoyed but to end a friendship over it seems extreme. I would accept the apology and move on. If something else happened down the road that made me question her friendship again, then I would reassess. Families do much worse to each other every minute of the day yet they stick together over "blood" nonsense. The way some people respond on here act like they are perfect and have never, even accidentally, hurt or offended a friend.
Obviously she is not looking out for your best interest but places it a couple of place settings down on her list of what's important in her life.
Now that you know that you can't trust her, focus on making yourself whole by continuing to look to find a new job and not tell her as she is probably going to repeat her behavior because she knows that you won't get mad about it.
BTW, I find it strange that you have to ask if you should be mad at her about doing you wrong. You need to change your doormat personality while you're young or people will continue to take advantage of you and then you will be constantly depressed.
The way the OP describes it, she knew very well what she was doing at the time she was doing it - and chose to continue anyway.
That's not something a friend - no less, a GOOD friend - would do.
If you plan to keep her around, it's time for a rather frank discussion in which you let her know that your trust in her is gone and you do not plan on sharing any sensitive personal info with her.
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