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Absolutely not. You are way off base. The parents in the PTA are very bright lovely people as far as I know. And when I was in school I thought I was dumb as a post. I didn't know why people teased me for being smart or why I was in advanced classes. Seriously I thought it was because my sister had been in them and was top of her class.
If it has anything to do with that, it has to do with me feeling less than, not more then. But it really doesn't. I was randomly responding to something in another post without quoting (cause I was being lazy on my iPhone).
I knew it wouldn't take long before words were twisted and attacks started.
I'm not attacking you or twisting your words. You claimed that the PTA was "not really my style". Why did you say that? Answer: your belief that, because you've had a career or some other reason, in some way you're above these PTA housewives and their activities, and it's beneath you. You're just bored and doing them a favor...
Why would you feel you had to "dumb down" something for people that you consider "bright"? Answer: because you don't honestly think of them as "bright".
Why would you characterize yourself as "smart and ambitious", clearly in comparison to your PTA peers? Answer: because you believe you possess a level of intelligence and drive beyond theirs.
I'll reiterate my advice: just do the work that the group wants from you. If you feel you can't do that for whatever reason, just say so and be done with it. There's no need to 'bridge your expectations with theirs'. Don't become a volunteer if you fancy yourself some kind of leader.
I'm not attacking you or twisting your words. You claimed that the PTA was "not really my style". Why did you say that? Answer: your belief that, because you've had a career or some other reason, in some way you're above these PTA housewives and their activities, and it's beneath you. You're just bored and doing them a favor...
Why would you feel you had to "dumb down" something for people that you consider "bright"? Answer: because you don't honestly think of them as "bright".
Why would you characterize yourself as "smart and ambitious", clearly in comparison to your PTA peers? Answer: because you believe you possess a level of intelligence and drive beyond theirs.
I'll reiterate my advice: just do the work that the group wants from you. If you feel you can't do that for whatever reason, just say so and be done with it. There's no need to 'bridge your expectations with theirs'. Don't become a volunteer if you fancy yourself some kind of leader.
I didn't see any of your allegations in the OP. I think the issue she's facing arises when volunteers are not given leeway to do what they do best, and instead are expected to run every move through a central board. That's the type of red tape that turns people off. Micromanaging isn't appreciated in the work force, why should it be appreciated in the PTA?
I didn't see any of your allegations in the OP. I think the issue she's facing arises when volunteers are not given leeway to do what they do best, and instead are expected to run every move through a central board. That's the type of red tape that turns people off. Micromanaging isn't appreciated in the work force, why should it be appreciated in the PTA?
If she thinks she knows better than everyone else and wants to do things her own way, then my advice, as I stated, is to not become a volunteer at all. Maybe you think 50 or 100+ different people doing what they believe they can do best without specific direction is a prudent course, but that's not how organizations work.
If she thinks she knows better than everyone else and wants to do things her own way, then my advice, as I stated, is to not become a volunteer at all. Maybe you think 50 or 100+ different people doing what they believe they can do best without specific direction is a prudent course, but that's not how organizations work.
Why shouldn't she share her expertise? She specifically said the project she took on was the area she had professional experience in. She doesn't need hand-holding to do it, and the officers should recognize that.
50-100 volunteers? In what universe? PTAs are lucky to get 10-20, and many of them end up dropping out due to the egos involved.
Why shouldn't she share her expertise? She specifically said the project she took on was the area she had professional experience in. She doesn't need hand-holding to do it, and the officers should recognize that.
50-100 volunteers? In what universe? PTAs are lucky to get 10-20, and many of them end up dropping out due to the egos involved.
I think she should share any expertise she has, and do good work, towards the task that she is given, not the task she feels compelled to do for her own reasons. Again, if she can improve the project, she should offer that. She(or you) may not feel she needs guidance, but that's for the leadership to decide. They're ultimately going to be responsible for her work.
Well, in my son's public school universe(a relatively small school), there were 60 or so PTA volunteers. How many dropped out I don't know.
Alright, the nuances of each school's PTA are different. But here are a few things to consider:
1) If this is an actual "PTA" (meaning it's part of the national organization) then they have very specific rules and guidelines they must follow. Could some the "red tape" you are hearing about be related to some specific bylaws? And if not due to a rule, it could just be the "way they do things" (maybe for a good reason, maybe not.) Even if this PTA isn't part of the national PTA, they'll still have their own rules and guidelines to follow.
2) Sounds obvious, but really absorbing this fact helped me reframe my involvement in the PTA: it's ALL VOLUNTEERS. Sometimes in a volunteer organization you just gotta take what you can get. Most PTAs I've been with are truly happy to have more parents involved. But being based completely on volunteers means they have to be exceedingly polite. Someone who takes charge and knows how to get things done, may find herself doing most of the work on her own.
3) Conversely, perhaps: I am but I small cog in very big machine. A machine that chugged along before me, and will continue to chug along years after I've moved on...
4) As a general rule, people can go a little nuts over things that involve their children and their money.
In conclusion: just do your best (what have you got to lose?) follow the rules, and don't make a big deal out it! Just get it done.
I joined the PTA at my kids (private) school. It's not really my style, but I am new in town and not currently working. First thing I noticed was they have such an extreme politeness and fret about stepping on any toes, parents and staff. Even though I am not a bull in a china shop or anything, I know to get things done, you can't really make everyone happy all of the time. It seemed like everyone had to agree on something for it to be done.
I volunteered to do a project over the year that is related to my former profession. To do it right it will take at least 100 hours of my time and effort. And I want to do it right...I'm a bit of a perfectionist with my profession. Honestly, I was pretty excited to be doing something besides housework and child care. But it quickly became apparent that the people didn't really think of the project as important. They are expecting way less then I am about it. I'm also used to having direction but then a lot of autonomy and it seems like even simple decisions need to be ok'ed by the PTA.
At first I was thinking of letting them know it wasn't the right opportunity for me. But then I thought maybe I need to adjust my attitude...if I can. For the sake of just getting along and maybe making new friends and having a project to work on. But...that's a hard adjustment.
I guess I am wondering how to bridge their expectations with my own without being overly pushy or passive?
Any advice? It's a hard thing for me to wrap my brain around. I feel like I have to dumb it down, when I was really good at my job and worked a lot and made good money. Now it's free and ...
I guess I just feel like I am in 6th grade again and realizing it's not "cool" to be smart and ambitious. But then, I'm the new girl. Maybe they are right.
Same thing happened to me, but at a public school.
The other parents have such low expectations it drives me nuts!
Quote:
I feel like I have to dumb it down
<<< ditto....
I don't think there is any valid reason anywhere to dumb yourself down to please people who have no desire to be great, and are so complacent! I avoid it at all cost.
They almost feel like a "cult", and it's really hard to overlook it considering that some of them do things that our kids see, and I don't want my kids to slack because they don't have a better example in front of them.
Being the new kid on the block can be difficult, especially if the existing group consists of mainly catty women who already have their clan established and resent a new member's ideas. They may feel intimidated and insecure if the new person comes up with fresh new idea (because the idea didn't come from them first). Ludicrous I know, but that's pretty much how it can often play out.
The phrase, "To get along, go along", is true until the group has had time to accept the newbie into the foal. Doesn't seem fair, but it's reality in some instances.
I'm not attacking you or twisting your words. You claimed that the PTA was "not really my style". Why did you say that? Answer: your belief that, because you've had a career or some other reason, in some way you're above these PTA housewives and their activities, and it's beneath you. You're just bored and doing them a favor...
Why would you feel you had to "dumb down" something for people that you consider "bright"? Answer: because you don't honestly think of them as "bright".
Why would you characterize yourself as "smart and ambitious", clearly in comparison to your PTA peers? Answer: because you believe you possess a level of intelligence and drive beyond theirs.
I'll reiterate my advice: just do the work that the group wants from you. If you feel you can't do that for whatever reason, just say so and be done with it. There's no need to 'bridge your expectations with theirs'. Don't become a volunteer if you fancy yourself some kind of leader.
Wrong on all counts. I'm done with your word twisting.
Being the new kid on the block can be difficult, especially if the existing group consists of mainly catty women who already have their clan established and resent a new member's ideas. They may feel intimidated and insecure if the new person comes up with fresh new idea (because the idea didn't come from them first). Ludicrous I know, but that's pretty much how it can often play out.
The phrase, "To get along, go along", is true until the group has had time to accept the newbie into the foal. Doesn't seem fair, but it's reality in some instances.
Luckily none of the women appear catty. But it is still very hard to be the new kid. I am hoping things go smoothly. I'm for sure aiming for go along to get along. I don't want to come charging in and bossing people around or stepping on toes. I just want to do a good job.
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