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I joined the PTA at my kids (private) school. It's not really my style, but I am new in town and not currently working. First thing I noticed was they have such an extreme politeness and fret about stepping on any toes, parents and staff. Even though I am not a bull in a china shop or anything, I know to get things done, you can't really make everyone happy all of the time. It seemed like everyone had to agree on something for it to be done.
I volunteered to do a project over the year that is related to my former profession. To do it right it will take at least 100 hours of my time and effort. And I want to do it right...I'm a bit of a perfectionist with my profession. Honestly, I was pretty excited to be doing something besides housework and child care. But it quickly became apparent that the people didn't really think of the project as important. They are expecting way less then I am about it. I'm also used to having direction but then a lot of autonomy and it seems like even simple decisions need to be ok'ed by the PTA.
At first I was thinking of letting them know it wasn't the right opportunity for me. But then I thought maybe I need to adjust my attitude...if I can. For the sake of just getting along and maybe making new friends and having a project to work on. But...that's a hard adjustment.
I guess I am wondering how to bridge their expectations with my own without being overly pushy or passive?
Any advice? It's a hard thing for me to wrap my brain around. I feel like I have to dumb it down, when I was really good at my job and worked a lot and made good money. Now it's free and ...
I guess I just feel like I am in 6th grade again and realizing it's not "cool" to be smart and ambitious. But then, I'm the new girl. Maybe they are right.
PTAs are tricky, and yes, they can be cliquish. Nearly everyone gets that you can't make everyone happy, but you do have to be diplomatic about things. It's a lot like politics, actually.
PTA leaders (presumably) work closely with administration, I do think that the PTA/administrators should "approve" most things that are being done by it's volunteers because ultimately it represents the school as a whole. Especially with private schools, whatever is being done/published/distributed/put out there for the public should align with that school's branding and message. It should be cohesive, and typically requires approval or input from administrators and PTA leaders.
There are some really well run PTAs and there are some poorly run PTAs. And because the leadership changes from year to year, so does the quality of the PTA.
What is the project that you volunteered to take on?
PTAs are tricky, and yes, they can be cliquish. Nearly everyone gets that you can't make everyone happy, but you do have to be diplomatic about things. It's a lot like politics, actually.
There are some really well run PTAs and there are some poorly run PTAs. And because the leadership changes from year to year, so does the quality of the PTA.
PTA leaders (presumably) work closely with administration, I do think that the PTA/administrators should "approve" most things that are being done by it's volunteers because ultimately it represents the school as a whole.
What is the project that you volunteered to take on?
I don't mind the heads approving but for a simple thing I talked to her about she asked me to email the whole PTA and get their thoughts. I'm like...seriously? There are a lot of decisions to be made over the year, this is going to be tedious. Plus I get the feeling no one really cares. Which is a bummer.
The project is specific and gives away a little too much info about me or I'd share. It's something I think of as important.
I'd say that for this first project, do it exactly like they are expecting. Run everything by whoever needs to hear about it and do the "dumbed down" version. While you're in the process, you'll be able to feel out who may be more amenable to your doing more next time. You'll also figure out if the reason they're reserved and persnickety is because of the president, or because the school administration is heavy-handed, or if the whole PTA is just like that.
I think you can be smart and ambitious, but if you step on the wrong toes those "ladies" will freeze you right out. So you have to figure out the dynamics as you go. You might find that you want to keep working with them, or you might find that you don't enjoy it at all. But for now, smile and go along to get along. The answer to your questions will be revealed before the new year.
I'd say that for this first project, do it exactly like they are expecting. Run everything by whoever needs to hear about it and do the "dumbed down" version. While you're in the process, you'll be able to feel out who may be more amenable to your doing more next time. You'll also figure out if the reason they're reserved and persnickety is because of the president, or because the school administration is heavy-handed, or if the whole PTA is just like that.
I think you can be smart and ambitious, but if you step on the wrong toes those "ladies" will freeze you right out. So you have to figure out the dynamics as you go. You might find that you want to keep working with them, or you might find that you don't enjoy it at all. But for now, smile and go along to get along. The answer to your questions will be revealed before the new year.
Good advice. But ugh! Now I remember why I have avoided PTAs in the past. So far people seem nice...but yeah, I could get the freeze fast if I mess up
Make it less about you and more about just getting the project done.
There is no need to make a mountain out of a molehill, or a billboard out of a bulletin board. You don't need to throw your whole heart and soul into a PTA project just because you used to do it for a living. The simple truth is that it will NOT be appreciated by 80% of the people at the school. They mostly will be thankful THEY didn't have to do it.
The schools my kids attend are full of moms in affluent families who have multiple college degrees and lots of interesting work experience, and there can be a tendency to think that volunteer work reflects who you are as a person. That usually leads to drama from "too many chiefs" and dashed expectations.
Additionally, PTAs in my state are subject to state guidelines, since they have their own budgets, and are strictly monitored. Just do what needs to be done, go through the chain of command, however long it is, and get it done.
FWIW, I ONLY volunteer on the hospitality committee, literally serving food at events. It keeps me out of any potential drama because I am happy to let some other chief be in charge.
Without knowledge of the project, I feel like I'm throwing darts in the dark, but...
As a project manager, I find the projects are most successful when the people involved are vested. Ask their opinion and help them feel like they are a big part of the success of the project. Getting them involved has the side benefit of improving relations with the people you want/need to interact.
If you try to take it on yourself, you'll likely be successful, but you will have missed an opportunity.
"First you need to learn how to follow the herd before you can lead them"
I always follow this principle when I join a new group or organization. Every group or company has its own dynamics & culture so you need to adjust your attitude, expectations & try to fit in by copying the people around you. Its their game & their rules so you cant follow your own rules & expect to win at their game. Its just a PTA project so relax. You are not going to be paid for it as its strictly volunteering. No one expects you to be perfect or efficient. I understand how you want to show the same level of commitment & skills that you had for your paying job. Save these efforts for the jobs that pay. This is not the place to show so much professionalism as you will seem like know-it-all & pushy that will result in jealousy & eventually, isolation. Being smart & ambitious is not frowned upon unless you always act like others are dumb & they need your help. Just showing up & contributing the same amount of time & efforts as other PTA members is enough. I wouldn't worry about it so much. Distract yourself with a part-time job or some home project where you can reap the benefits of your hard work & labor.
"First you need to learn how to follow the herd before you can lead them"
I always follow this principle when I join a new group or organization.
Very wise words! It's never going to be received well when a newcomer comes on board and is immediately critical of existing processes and procedures. (Not saying that's what the OP is doing. Just speaking generally.)
OP, I think the best way to handle this is to run the project the way they are accustomed to things going. Then when the project is complete, compile a written evaluation of the project and offer suggestions for streamlining the process. If they're receptive to the suggestions, then you've made a positive impact with minimal drama. If they aren't receptive, then you know that an inflexible group like that isn't for you. But at least you've given it a shot.
I really appreciate all the feedback. It's really helpful in reframing things for me. In my work I would be contracted by people and companies but when it came down to it, I was on my own for the work part. I just assumed it would be like that, but I need to open up to working more in group settings and not being the "expert".
Still it's hard for my perfectionist side not to get in the way. I will work on it. The other PTA members actually seem very nice and down to earth.
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