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I am so sick of the term "bullied". Such a buzz word. There is being bullied and being the butt of a dumb joke. Being bullied is a long term thing...not just someone being mean to you a few times, or even once.
Bullied is an ongoing tormenting behavior.
Being the butt of a dumb joke in front of your professor and your peers is humiliating and there is no reason for it. You may not like the term bullying, but I think it applies here. It could have escalated too. I also think the OP had a breakthrough. She decided she wasn't taking that kind of behavior any more.
I totally disagree with your viewpoint. And I also don't think "bullying" is a buzz word. It is something that happens to some people all their lives, sometimes with tragic outcomes. I want to respectfully suggest that if this thread hits a nerve with you, you might ask yourself why.
If you have a strong sense of self, a slight (like this, which was not an attack) won't hurt. You are also more likely to stick up for yourself if you are "attacked".
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
It was ONE dumb joke.
Please refer to the post below to see how the word "attacked" entered the conversation. If you think it doesn't belong in this thread, you can let go of the direction of this conversation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird
You don't have a thick skin. You know how to pretend you have a thick skin so you won't continue to be attacked. Very different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KJA1991
I guess in retrospect I shouldn't have said anything to the guy. Now once I think about it I'm embarrassed. It's things like that that trigger my anxiety. I'm trying to forget confronting him but I can't help but cringe.
KJA1991, if you want to know how to develop thick skin, listen to those who say "you should have/you shouldn't have" but don't let your past decision turn into regret. Let it be a lesson learned. People who have a weak sense of self are easily affected by "should've, would've, could've" comments.
No. You did right. You didn't stand a chance. No one would have, not just you. How very hurtful of that person. All for a laugh. I love being so low-profile that no one knows your name. I admire that. My son went through Air Force basic and, at the end, one of his drill instructors didn't even know his name.
I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that was embarrassing to others in your class. I'm just surprised no one has approached you to apologize for the idiot's behavior. I sure would have.
Chin up. This, too, shall pass. And hopefully your grade will be Awesome!
You asserted yourself and this will help you in the future. The next time you're attacked out of the blue like this, 1) it won't sting as bad 2) you will know your options on how to deal with it. Next time you may not be moved to do anything at all. Don't second guess yourself, dealing with people is an ongoing process.
Take some comfort in the fact that while some students laughed, all the decent, good-hearted people in the class were thinking that the student who made the rude comment about you and those who laughed at it are the pathetic ones.
I agree. It was a poor reflection on the student and those that responded. Too bad nobody had the courage to confront this idiot in class.
I guess in retrospect I shouldn't have said anything to the guy. Now once I think about it I'm embarrassed. It's things like that that trigger my anxiety. I'm trying to forget confronting him but I can't help but cringe.
Scary as this sounds, I think the best thing to do in the moment would be to stand up and say "Hi, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is _________. Nice to meet you." I'm surprised that a sociology professor would let any kind of social alienation occur in the classroom, but perhaps it was a social experiment of how people behave when they fail to remember someone's name. What occurred with you would have been one of those perfect teaching moments in a sociology class (I really don't like that phrase, but, here, it works).
Being the butt of a dumb joke in front of your professor and your peers is humiliating and there is no reason for it. You may not like the term bullying, but I think it applies here. It could have escalated too. I also think the OP had a breakthrough. She decided she wasn't taking that kind of behavior any more.
I totally disagree with your viewpoint. And I also don't think "bullying" is a buzz word. It is something that happens to some people all their lives, sometimes with tragic outcomes. I want to respectfully suggest that if this thread hits a nerve with you, you might ask yourself why.
Actually I did explain how I can relate to the thread in previous posts. But what ever. Maybe you should ask yourself a few questions about your emotional response....
It has to be repeated behavior to be considered "bullying"
This is because all sorts of people can and do say stupid and rude things on the spur of the moment, particularly when nervous, and it doesn't mean they are being spiteful. Just stupid and thoughtless.
It has to be repeated behavior to be considered "bullying"
This is because all sorts of people can and do say stupid and rude things on the spur of the moment, particularly when nervous, and it doesn't mean they are being spiteful. Just stupid and thoughtless.
Which is what I suggest happened in OP's case.
So, you are making the rules now? If the OP felt bullied, and I don't remember if she did, then she was bullied. If she didn't, then I guess she wasn't.
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It's things like that that trigger my anxiety. I'm trying to forget confronting him but I can't help but cringe.
