Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What would you do if you knew someone has Herpes but wasn't telling their many partners? This person claims to not have sex when they have active breakouts, and explains it away to their partners by saying they have Shingles. I feel it is terrible and the partners should be told the truth but they say then nobody would sleep with them. To which I say, I don't blame them. What say you?
What a disdainful person. I would be coldly polite if necessary (coworker, family member), but I could not like such a person and would avoid him or her whenever I could.
If you know their partners encourage them to get tested. Herpes scares me more than HIV because with HIV/AIDS, as long as the person is taking their meds correctly, there's only a 6% chance that you can get it.
Personally, if I knew someone was having sex with someone who had herpes, I would leave an anonymous note (typed) and attach this information from the CDC about HSV2. My anonymous note would probably say something like this:
"I heard that you're having sex with a certain someone. The someone that I'm speaking of has herpes and knows it. When I say herpes, I mean herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV2) aka genital herpes. You can still get HSV2 even if the person doesn't have an outbreak. HSV1 is the cold sore virus that many acquire during their childhood. HSV1 can cause HSV2.
This is a crime and I highly suggest that you contact the authorities, get tested, and stop having sex. Keep in mind the more partners one has, the more susceptible they are to other STDs. HSV2 cannot be cured."
ETA: You cannot trust people. BEFORE you have sex with someone, you should request that they show you test results (every 3 months) and you should always use a condom or dental dam EVEN WITH ORAL SEX.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 3,028,419 times
Reputation: 3911
I've experienced this dilemma in college. I had a very attractive close friend. She had contracted herpes from a spring break romp.Only a few people knew because we were friends when she was diagnosed.
Skip ahead a year later and she goes with me to visit my bf and his roommate. Dude was a blonde Rastafarian and let's say very interested in the ladies. She was a beautiful Vietnamese/French model looking natural stunner. Before the first night was over he was smitten and plotting his moves. I knew from conversations with my bf that he wasn't fond of condoms and could of been positive himself for all I know. So all I could think was "will she tell him"?. My loyalty was with her but I wasn't sure of my place in all this. Bad place to be. I didn't tell him and told my bf to stress he should be careful. If I was in that situation now I would probably talk with her more about it,maybe she told him and he didn't say anything to my bf about it. I'm pretty sure they hooked up but I've always felt guilty about it.
I've experienced this dilemma in college. I had a very attractive close friend. She had contracted herpes from a spring break romp.Only a few people knew because we were friends when she was diagnosed.
Skip ahead a year later and she goes with me to visit my bf and his roommate. Dude was a blonde Rastafarian and let's say very interested in the ladies. She was a beautiful Vietnamese/French model looking natural stunner. Before the first night was over he was smitten and plotting his moves. I knew from conversations with my bf that he wasn't fond of condoms and could of been positive himself for all I know. So all I could think was "will she tell him"?. My loyalty was with her but I wasn't sure of my place in all this. Bad place to be. I didn't tell him and told my bf to stress he should be careful. If I was in that situation now I would probably talk with her more about it,maybe she told him and he didn't say anything to my bf about it. I'm pretty sure they hooked up but I've always felt guilty about it.
Yeah, in a way I feel bad about the partners, but on the other hand, they should wear condoms, or ask to be tested first.
What would you do if you knew someone has Herpes but wasn't telling their many partners? This person claims to not have sex when they have active breakouts, and explains it away to their partners by saying they have Shingles. I feel it is terrible and the partners should be told the truth but they say then nobody would sleep with them. To which I say, I don't blame them. What say you?
Depends on the situation. If I knew for 100% that the person had herpes/Aids because they told me directly or directly showed me their test results, then I would feel an obligation to tell their partners if I thought the infected person wasn't telling them. I would probably try and do it anonymously, but even if it wasn't anonymous oh well because I wouldn't care about saving my friendship with someone who spreads STDs on purpose.
If I did not learn this information directly from the infected person, as in it's second or third hand information from a friend of a friend, then I would keep my mouth shut and stay out of it unless I had no doubt that the information was 100% true (for example if the friend of a friend showed me a physical copy of the test results with infected person's name on it). The reason I would stay out of it in the second scenario is because I would have some doubt as to whether it is true if the information didn't come directly from the infected person. Rumors and second-hand information is often partially or totally inaccurate. If it were to turn out that I told people person A had herpes and they didn't, then at best I would be spreading damaging false rumors and at worst person A could sue me for slander and probably win.
I guess if you really felt like you had to say something even in the second situation because the infected person is sleeping with a family member or good friend you could say something like - "hey Bill, I hear you're dating Susan. I thought you should know that Bob told me he heard from Mike that Susan told him (Mike) that she had herpes. I'm assuming it's not true, but I thought you should know Mike and Bob are spreading this info around. If it's not true, then Susan should know that Mike and Bob are spreading false rumors about her." I doubt you could get into trouble for phrasing the information like this.
Last edited by patches403; 07-09-2015 at 11:52 AM..
ETA: You cannot trust people. BEFORE you have sex with someone, you should request that they show you test results (every 3 months) and you should always use a condom or dental dam EVEN WITH ORAL SEX.
Or, you know, you could just only have sex with people you are in a committed relationship and really trust. Herpes II won't show up on any test you can get done at a clinic.
Or, you know, you could just only have sex with people you are in a committed relationship and really trust. Herpes II won't show up on any test you can get done at a clinic.
Well, what I really wanted to say as to wait until you're married and only marry a virgin, but every time I say that people get upset and offended.
Personally, if I knew someone was having sex with someone who had herpes, I would leave an anonymous note (typed) and attach this information from the CDC about HSV2. My anonymous note would probably say something like this:
"I heard that you're having sex with a certain someone. The someone that I'm speaking of has herpes and knows it. When I say herpes, I mean herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV2) aka genital herpes. You can still get HSV2 even if the person doesn't have an outbreak. HSV1 is the cold sore virus that many acquire during their childhood. HSV1 can cause HSV2.
This is a crime and I highly suggest that you contact the authorities, get tested, and stop having sex. Keep in mind the more partners one has, the more susceptible they are to other STDs. HSV2 cannot be cured."
.
I also thought it might be a criminal act, but that doesn't seem to be the case, at least with herpes. People have successfully sued partners in civil cases for not informing them though. Maybe the person in the OP would think twice if she realized the possible financial liability.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
