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OP, do you want more friends, or are you happy the way you are? Sometimes, we feel we are falling short of the expectations of others, but its not really what we want.
I have always been social, one on one, and have had friends, but I am shy about being the center of attention. A long time ago, I decided to work on it, so I became a volunteer museum docent. It was me, up in front of a group of school children, or sometimes adults, talking about various exhibits. Each time I did it, it was like agony, but I realized that I did fine, and nobody knew how I felt. Pretty soon, I was able to let the fear go. I did this for myself.
Fast forward to now. My only volunteer job is to read to kindergarteners once a week. Believe it or not, I get nervous about reading a book to 5 year olds, but I make myself do it, because I know better than to give in to my fear. I do this for myself also.
You should just say no to giving in. Push through whatever is keeping you from putting yourself out there if this is what you want.
You've spent almost twenty years looking at the floor, it's time to look up. Make eye contact, nod, mumble to start, then move on to saying "Hi!" In a little while you'll be able to say "good morning" or "how ya doin"?
Whatever vision you have of yourself is yours alone, the people you're with at UPS don't know anything about what you were, they are looking at you as someone totally new. Be new, take small steps to be just a little more social than you have been, the rest will come. Get out and stop looking for reasons why you can't do something but rather reasons why you can.
You might find that you really do want to go to school and it's been the social aspect that has kept you home.
One other thing, you've mentioned your mother has sent you to doctors and therapists but you don't seem to really know what they diagnosed; you need to find out. You are responsible for your health, not your mother. At the age of eighteen you need to be the one talking to the doctors and deciding with them what, if any, help you need whether that is therapy, drugs, or just a better outlook on life. Start by getting her to tell you everything they've told her about you and next time you go to a doctor leave her home.
You've spent almost twenty years looking at the floor, it's time to look up. Make eye contact, nod, mumble to start, then move on to saying "Hi!" In a little while you'll be able to say "good morning" or "how ya doin"?
Whatever vision you have of yourself is yours alone, the people you're with at UPS don't know anything about what you were, they are looking at you as someone totally new. Be new, take small steps to be just a little more social than you have been, the rest will come. Get out and stop looking for reasons why you can't do something but rather reasons why you can.
You might find that you really do want to go to school and it's been the social aspect that has kept you home.
One other thing, you've mentioned your mother has sent you to doctors and therapists but you don't seem to really know what they diagnosed; you need to find out. You are responsible for your health, not your mother. At the age of eighteen you need to be the one talking to the doctors and deciding with them what, if any, help you need whether that is therapy, drugs, or just a better outlook on life. Start by getting her to tell you everything they've told her about you and next time you go to a doctor leave her home.
One of them gave me anti-depressants and said I might have ADHD, but I never got meds for that.
I've always been a shy person for as long as I can remember. I was a little more socially active in elementary school but I was bullied pretty harshly until about the 8th grade. That along with the insecurities that came with that probably stunted my social growth. I will try to get out and do stuff but I do have some limits. I still live at home, I have a job that I have to work 5 days a week, and I don't have a whole lot of money. I feel like the window for having friends is closing if not closed for me because most people that I have seen still have a lot of their friends that they made during their school years. The worst part is that I have an older brother who is the exact opposite of me and has many friends and did many things during his high school years and is in college now. He has hundred of friends and I have virtually none.
I used to be shy due to my acne and resulting social awkwardness. These days I'm not shy but I still don't really like socializing unless it's with people who have common interests and personalities, which aren't that many people. One thing you have to remember, high school is over. Try to think of it as starting a new life, because it really is the next stage. Personally I don't see any problem with you still living at home. Yes you're an adult but you just graduated from high school. I didn't move out until I was 26. Try to manage your finances and think about what you want to do with the rest of your life, whether it be advancing in your current job or starting a new career that will give you more satisfaction. Financial freedom is liberating but isn't the only thing that makes one happy. Trust me, you're only getting started, you have your whole life ahead of you. Yes, a lot of people made their best friends in high school or college but that doesn't mean you have to. When you get to be my age (near 40), hopefully you'll look back and see how much you've grown. I can't emphasize taking action strongly enough as I made the mistake of wasting too much time in my 20s and even 30s. Don't worry about your brother, we're all individuals with our own lives to live. I know what it's like to be lonely, it can get better but it's up to you. At least you realize you must take action, remember baby steps first. Good luck.
OP, do you want more friends, or are you happy the way you are? Sometimes, we feel we are falling short of the expectations of others, but its not really what we want.
I have always been social, one on one, and have had friends, but I am shy about being the center of attention. A long time ago, I decided to work on it, so I became a volunteer museum docent. It was me, up in front of a group of school children, or sometimes adults, talking about various exhibits. Each time I did it, it was like agony, but I realized that I did fine, and nobody knew how I felt. Pretty soon, I was able to let the fear go. I did this for myself.
Fast forward to now. My only volunteer job is to read to kindergarteners once a week. Believe it or not, I get nervous about reading a book to 5 year olds, but I make myself do it, because I know better than to give in to my fear. I do this for myself also.
You should just say no to giving in. Push through whatever is keeping you from putting yourself out there if this is what you want.
I'm not very happy with how I am now. Most people out there (especially at my age) are out there living life, having fun, and making lifelong memories. I feel like life is just passing me by. One thing I can say though that's related to your post is that I'm very good with little kids. They seem to gravitate to me. They love playing with me and I'm pretty good at making them laugh.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I never thought I had Asperger's. I will look more into it. Ironically, my older brother who is way more social than I am and has way more friends than me was thought to have it when he was younger. My mom has made me go to therapists and psychiatrists before and they never told me that I had it. While I do want to get better, the thought of going to a therapist just to be able to do something that comes so simple to most people is sort of embarrassing. Most people don't need help to do something as simple as socialize with other people. I wish there was maybe some way I could go to therapy without other people knowing about it. I don't want to be seen as not normal.
1) if your mom already made you go see a shrink/therapist/psych, then SHE probably already suspects something is up.
2) it can be worth the risk to see a therapist. Actually, this thread has me thinking that I may want to consider seeing one myself. If not just to talk to somebody else besides a family member, but to see if there are any suggestions
3) if folks see you as NOT normal due to therapy and don't want to be around you b/c of that, there was a good chance that you wouldn't want to be around them anyways.
4) knowing when to get help IS indeed a show of weakness (like another poster mentioned). This is common with soldiers and PTSD, as they're tough men who fought in wars and should be able to handle anything life throws at them right? I'd disagree. I sure as heck wouldn't want their jobs, but transitioning to civilian world is quite different.
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