Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am really sorry you are going through this. i do agree, things will get better. Make sure to stand up for yourself and don't let him walk all over you if you guys do go through the divorce process.
I am sorry for all the turmoil you have endured, and hope your future will be better.
Make very sure that your husband has to pay adequate child support for your daughter, and that the custody arrangements are appropriate. Particularly with two countries involved, be very, very sure that your husband cannot take your child to her paternal grandparents - and leave her there.
I would suggest getting some family counseling for both yourself and your daughter to help you both deal with the effects of the divorce. A good family lawyer would be ideal for you to make sure you have adequate support for yourself and your child, too.
Would you consider moving back to your parents? Think about what would be best for you and your child, and what would bring you the most happiness and security in the future.
From what you've told us, I'd be VERY VERY careful that your husband doesn't try to take your daughter away from you. That is the FIRST thing you should worry about. You'll do fine without him, but please watch your daughter!!!!
I am very thankful for the comments. I read and I cried. For the divorce, I signed but he has signed yet. When he told me that we should break up because I don't want to spend more time with his parents, it is the end of our marriage.
I decided to give up because he hurts my feelings. I understand why he did it but I don't accept it. My husband thinks his parents are old and he lives abroad so that he cannot take care of them. But he cannot use me to please them. Although I feel lonely when he has to travel so much, and he saved most of our vacations to visit his parents, I usually encourage him to visit them. But he cannot force me to do that , just because he wants the whole family to spend time together. I also have my parents that I need to take care of. He knows I feel not comfortable, but still force me to visit them.
This Christmas, I am totally tired, and we already invited his parents to visit us, to spend time with their grandchild for a whole month. And now, I want a break. He should understand that.
Our problem is the issue of the culture. His parents are not bad, but they want the whole family to live together. When we visit them, we don't have personal spaces. They can enter our room anytime. Once, his parents entered my room to sleep with me and my daughter because they want to show friendly. When we are back, we cannot take vacation without them. When I talk to my sister-in-law, she thinks the problem is mine, and that I should learn to spend time as a whole family.
My husband is not bad. He does not use alcohol, smoke. He is faithful and a good earner but he does not know how to take care of his family. And, although he did not spend time with my daughter because he is work addicted, I believe he loves her so much. But, just like his parents, he does not know how to spend time, how to play with her, getting her around is enough for them.
The only problem I concern is the financial problem. It is very difficult for me to find a high salary job here. I don't want to back home because my family is poor and I don't want to be a burden to them. Moreover, in my country, we have a very bad conditions in medical, school and I feel bad for putting my daughter there.
Last edited by rapunzel09; 11-09-2015 at 10:14 AM..
Just a question...
Why do these long, drawn out original posts have new members that have only made between 1 and 5 posts? I dislike remarking to them, as I can't figure out whether they are true concerns, or just fabricated.
Do they join just for this post? Are they going to become a true member, or is the original post just BS to start some type of controversy?
I think my husband will let me take care of our daughter. First, he does not have enough time for he. Second, and because he loves her, he knows that is best for her. The problem is that I feel so bad because I fight to give her the best life and I failed.
My husband has depression. He wants to take care of everything but his health, his capability do not allow him to do so much. He is not happy all the time. He wants to take care of his parents, wants to help the people in our country. He wants to demonstrate his ability, but he just forget to take care of us.
Well, if this is indeed the case and you are getting a divorce, thank your lucky stars that you are escaping from a lifetime of being treated like a doormat by your selfish husband and his family.
@animalcrazy, @TerraDown: This is my first post. I was so stressed out and found this forum. For me, if I see someone has problems, I would like to help rather than to be suspicious. We live abroad, and I don't want to make my family sad by telling them my stories. This is the way I clear my feelings. I am sorry if it makes you not happy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
