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That's terrible. I have two special needs kids and, no matter what life throws at us, I will still always love them and want them and never want a do over. Are you sure they would feel that way....or is it how you think you might feel?
I cannot say for sure, but yes, I would feel this way. I really do not feel you are being honest with yourself.
I, too, would love my children no matter what, but if I could spare them or myself from any pain, or hardship, I would do it.
I cannot say for sure, but yes, I would feel this way. I really do not feel you are being honest with yourself.
I, too, would love my children no matter what, but if I could spare them or myself from any pain, or hardship, I would do it.
Are you kidding me? How dare you! You don't know what is in my heart. I am sorry you don't value all sorts of people the way I do, but you are wrong about me. I love being my children's parent. And yes, it's hard. But there are joys in the hard times. I am actually really sad for you that you think the way you do.
Anyone remember the Ann Landers column of 1975, I think it was? She asked in her column if women could do it over again, would they have had their kids. Ten thousand women replied and 70% of them said no. Ann Landers was so horrified by that response, she vowed to never ask another question like that in her column again.
I thought there was a thread on here awhile back about this topic. I was shocked that so many people came forward and said they wished they never had children. It's very hard and you have to be selfless. I would think many people feel this way, just don't say it out loud.
To keep it totally to yourself is an absolute waste! Here is the perfect place to say it - no chance of hurting your kids but being honest and helping those who may feel the same but pressured to have kids anyway. Just say no - to kids!
It is awful..... I agree, the only thing I could say is is that a lot of people don't realize how difficult and how much you have to sacrifice to raise kids.
I think it's especially difficult if you have a kid that turns out to be a hardcore drug addict, not judging here, just heard horror stories about it. That sometimes family members have to end up cutting them off.... matter of fact that has happened in our extended family... sad stuff.
Yes, my mom did not want to have any kids. She's encouraged me not to breed. Dad regrets children as well and has encouraged me not to breed either. I have three friends that regret having children and have asked me to nanny their kids because it's so difficult. I really don't know of any happily married couples with children either. No way I'm bringing a life onto this sick planet.
Wow. I had a horrible childhood. I didnt want kids,but when I had them they probably saved me from being a shell of a person. It does make marriage more difficult. Mine didnt work out but having kids helped me survive it. Just me.
I have known many people who didn't want kids and ended up with them. Some adjusted better than others. I also have several friends who wanted kids, had them, and regretted having them. I think that's a really hard thing to admit because it's looked down upon. I also hope their kids never know/realize that because who wants to feel unwanted (especially if they were wanted before they were born, but not after?? What does that say?? It's very different if parents didn't want kids and had them and were happy about it after the fact). I am actually surprised at how many of my friends wish they hadn't had kids (and already have them).
Not to mention that birth control methods weren't available much then. Mostly refraining from sex, refraining during certain parts of the month or withdrawal before climax. My parents were poor...they really tried to limit their family a bit, but had four children. Oh well. They loved us all, even though they couldn't provide well for us. No medical or dental care, clothing were pretty much donated crap, we moved around quite a bit just trying for stable employment for my father. Stuff happens.
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodmockingbird
You're not alone.
Back in the 1950s, couples were under unimaginable pressure to produce.
The root cause can be almost anything. Money and sex had nothing to do with mine. It happened because he was very self-centered, everything was about him, and also I wanted to protect my daughter from as much of his selfishness as I could. As it turned out, he ended up turning his back on her afterward because they got into an argument about him going out with friends and leaving her alone during her weekend visits with him. That ended their relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird
Actually the root cause of most divorces are money and sex
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