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Couldn't you have gone to this event separately from your wife? Take two vehicles - or carpool with someone else. She could go for the entire thing, you could just drive up for the day. Or let her go alone - couldn't you have been "under the weather" or something?
That's an awfully long time to spend with family unless you are both close to them. And given the sleeping conditions...
How about inviting the relatives to your house - ? If they can come, great, if not then at least they were invited. That's what we did a lot of the time but it was a lot of work for the cook (and host/ess). Really though, it does solve a lot of problems. Or alternate one year here, the next year there - or go to a restaurant (maybe the best solution of all, lol), have dessert home or wherever if you want to relax and make it a little homey.
Wow, that's sounds awful. We stay at a hotel when we visit the in-laws. We used to stay at their home, but now that we have kids, its nice to have our own space.
Wow, that's sounds awful. We stay at a hotel when we visit the in-laws. We used to stay at their home, but now that we have kids, its nice to have our own space.
It is in a super small town near the Canadian border and the closest motel is almost 30 miles away, so everyone just stays with my ex wife's family, most on the floor. It's tradition, and no one else complained.
It is in a super small town near the Canadian border and the closest motel is almost 30 miles away, so everyone just stays with my ex wife's family, most on the floor. It's tradition, and no one else complained.
Out loud. I highly doubt the other husband's were/are perfectly okay with this situation. Especially since none of them talked to each other; they weren't having a good time.
How about inviting the relatives to your house - ? If they can come, great, if not then at least they were invited. That's what we did a lot of the time but it was a lot of work for the cook (and host/ess). Really though, it does solve a lot of problems. Or alternate one year here, the next year there - or go to a restaurant (maybe the best solution of all, lol), have dessert home or wherever if you want to relax and make it a little homey.
That creates other problems. I know because I've done this thinking oh it would be better. Yeah, then EVERY ONE had a complaint or 12 except for 1 person.....and she is the only person who ever offers to help with anything. She begs to set the table, help bring the meal out of the kitchen to the dining room, helps clean up, helps with dishes, and she loves to serve dessert. She's one of my grandmothers and in her 80's. The ONE person who should sit down, put her feet up, take a nap, relax, be waited on is the ONLY person in BOTH of our families who offers to help. She also brings food for the holiday meal and dessert. She makes it all from scratch. I can't even get anyone else to bring a bottle of soda!
Last year I canceled the holiday at our house because I was soooooo sick and tired of the complaints and negativity. And for the first time in years, I had a lovely Christmas. I wasn't slave cooking for ungrateful jerks for 2 days. Or washing dishes until the cows came home. Or spending hours grocery shopping. I saved over $500 on those groceries also. There are no more holidays at my house with these people. I like my sanity. I am far from the only one with in-law/family issues. It's sad that people can't not be a jerk for a day out of the year.
I refuse to go anywhere where I will not have really nice sleeping accommodations. I would have just driven from however far away a nice place to stay would be.
Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-13-2015 at 05:42 AM..
Reason: rudeness toward the op.
No kicking or screaming here, if I do not want to go I do not go and when I do go we always get a room no matter how far away the hotel is. I do not sleep on the floor anywhere for any reason.
I visited in laws for a number of years, and put up with uncomfortable accommodations. I didn't feel I had anything in common with their family, either. I do agree that discomfort is a major source of irritation with visits like this. Now I put up with discomfort when I visit one of my adult children, so in a way this has come full circle. And, I am the place my kids (sometimes) meet for Thanksgiving. I wish I could give them better accommodations.
But, the secret is love and forgiveness and a desire to be happy together. If the family doesn't have that, then any visit will be miserable. For the family, uncomfortable sleeping arrangements are probably the price they pay to be together; for the spouses and boyfriends, the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements are just a royal pain. I think eventually, some compromise has to be reached. And I am a big believer in families making their own traditions, anyway. You CAN have your own Thanksgiving; you don't have to go home again, if doing so is too hard. At least, not every year.
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