The much-despised "ma'am" word (person, member, children, sister)

[Shysister]

Originally Posted by Liberty2011

You don't have to say anything instead. Hi, how are you, is pleasant and polite. That seems to be a point that is missed. For those of us not in areas where ma'am/sir are standard, you're not rude if you don't tack on a miss, ma'am or sir in conversation.

I agree! When I moved to Texas it was weird to hear people referring to each other as sir/ma'am and I could see older women kind of being shocked/disappointed that I was not greeting them with the ma'am title. It does nothing but remind me of slavery when I hear people address each other that way especially in the South. You're not my sir/ma'am nor do I need your approval.


Now Ms. Mrs./Mr. Miss is a little different and I can understand those titles signifying acknowledging an adult if you are a child or acknowledging someone in a professional setting.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Shysister

I agree! When I moved to Texas it was weird to hear people referring to each other as sir/ma'am and I could see older women kind of being shocked/disappointed that I was not greeting them with the ma'am title. It does nothing but remind me of slavery when I hear people address each other that way especially in the South. You're not my sir/ma'am nor do I need your approval.


Now Ms. Mrs./Mr. Miss is a little different and I can understand those titles signifying acknowledging an adult if you are a child or acknowledging someone in a professional setting.

What???

Unless you were calling them something disrespectful instead of "M'am," I think you were imagining this.

I never notice when someone doesn't call me M'am - but I notice (positively) when they do. I have lived in east Texas for nearly 30 years and I have honestly never once heard a woman of any age or race say anything akin to "He should have called me M'am."

[rebellious1]

Originally Posted by zitsky

That's not polite. We use it to show respect, not to intentionally offend people.

I use it to show respect but if you are that easily offended and make it a point to be offended, I don't respect you.

[elan]

Originally Posted by Shysister

It does nothing but remind me of slavery when I hear people address each other that way especially in the South. You're not my sir/ma'am nor do I need your approval.

Oh my, I say sir and ma'am to black people all the time, I say it to everybody.

[Shysister]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

What???

Unless you were calling them something disrespectful instead of "M'am," I think you were imagining this.

I never notice when someone doesn't call me M'am - but I notice (positively) when they do. I have lived in east Texas for nearly 30 years and I have honestly never once heard a woman of any age or race say anything akin to "He should have called me M'am."

Okay point being you do notice, so why would it be far fetched for someone to notice that I didn't acknowledge them that way? It's very annoying when people assume someone can't experience something just because it doesn't apply to them. Like I stated, I can see the disappointment in SOME when I do not acknowledge in that way especially when others around me are and I still stand firm and not engage. It's not my thing and I'm not going to start doing it just because I now reside in Texas.

[rebellious1]

Originally Posted by Shysister

I agree! When I moved to Texas it was weird to hear people referring to each other as sir/ma'am and I could see older women kind of being shocked/disappointed that I was not greeting them with the ma'am title. It does nothing but remind me of slavery when I hear people address each other that way especially in the South. You're not my sir/ma'am nor do I need your approval.


Now Ms. Mrs./Mr. Miss is a little different and I can understand those titles signifying acknowledging an adult if you are a child or acknowledging someone in a professional setting.

This is the dumbest post on this thread. Let's make sure to somehow reference ma'am back to slavery and be offended as much as possible.

[Shysister]

Originally Posted by rebellious1

This is the dumbest post on this thread. Let's make sure to somehow reference ma'am back to slavery and be offended as much as possible.

lol why would you be offended? You have your reasons for using the term and I have my reasons for not choosing to do so. Your post is actually the dumbest in the thread because you obviously can't decipher between someone's choice verses someone trying to change yours.


I'm not trying to convince you to do anything because I don't care if you use the term or not and if you're secure in your stance then why I choose not to use the term shouldn't offend or even matter to you.

[FromChicagotoSeattle]

I admit, that I dislike being called ma'am and have told people who called me that. Of course I don't tell them in a rude manner, I just jokingly say "hey, I'm not that old to be called ma'am yet!" I do admit, it is ALL my own insecurity of getting older (I'm 31) as I had only started being called it once I reached my late-20's. Like someone else mentioned, I do prefer "Miss" instead and that's what I say to other women when getting a stranger's attention. When I hit 40, I don't think I'll have as much of a problem with "ma'am", but I definitely do now. It's no one else's problem but mine though.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Shysister

Okay point being you do notice, so why would it be far fetched for someone to notice that I didn't acknowledge them that way? It's very annoying when people assume someone can't experience something just because it doesn't apply to them. Like I stated, I can see the disappointment in SOME when I do not acknowledge in that way especially when others around me are and I still stand firm and not engage. It's not my thing and I'm not going to start doing it just because I now reside in Texas.

Don't worry - people don't EXPECT it - it's just nice when it happens.

You're clearly very sensitive about this, so I don't think it's farfetched to consider the strong possibility that you're over analyzing your interactions with others here in Texas. The vast majority of people don't think one way or the other about how you're addressing them, unless you're being intentionally rude or curt.

The very idea that "m'am" or "sir" is a nod to slavery is pretty farfetched though. Little white kids all over the South have been using these terms to address their elders for centuries. White men and women in the military use it to address just about anyone. Many white adults in the civilian world use it to address strangers and customers of any size, shape, age, or color.

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

Don't worry - people don't EXPECT it - it's just nice when it happens.

You're clearly very sensitive about this, so I don't think it's farfetched to consider the strong possibility that you're over analyzing your interactions with others here in Texas. The vast majority of people don't think one way or the other about how you're addressing them, unless you're being intentionally rude or curt.

The very idea that "m'am" or "sir" is a nod to slavery is pretty farfetched though. Little white kids all over the South have been using these terms to address their elders for centuries. White men and women in the military use it to address just about anyone. Many white adults in the civilian world use it to address strangers and customers of any size, shape, age, or color.

That may be true for YOU, but clearly, some people DO expect it:

Originally Posted by Georgianbelle

Maybe not, but mam is not offensive to us and we don't use it to be offensive. When you visit a different section of the country or a different country all together you should accept the differences there graciously. I expect kids to say mam to me, and when they don't I wonder what their parents taught them.

Originally Posted by Georgianbelle

Of course not. When I visit other places, I am accepting of others differences. The incident I mentioned happened in South Georgia where mam is expected to be used when speaking to a woman.