The much-despised "ma'am" word (grandmother, neighborhood, neighbors, feel)

[NewbieHere]

Originally Posted by Bluesmama

People have been calling me ma'am since I was at least in my early 20's, and I looked about 16 then (AND lived in California). And it's often YOUNG people who use that term - I have never heard a kid refer to a woman as 'Miss'.

People are just high-strung.

You must live in a different part of California then I am. Either that or I have suffered amnesia. Only the military uses man and sir, and they use it to your face. What's wrong with just calling name.
I guess I'm high- strung.

[Bluesmama]

Originally Posted by NewbieHere

You must live in a different part of California then I am. Either that or I have suffered amnesia. Only the military uses man and sir, and they use it to your face. What's wrong with just calling name.
I guess I'm high- strung.

I haven't lived there in a long time, and back then I think people tried harder to be cordial.

However, people grab "ma'am" when they don't know the person's name.

[NewbieHere]

Originally Posted by Bluesmama

I haven't lived there in a long time, and back then I think people tried harder to be cordial.

However, people grab "ma'am" when they don't know the person's name.

I can understand when they don't know the person's name. But I've been in situation when two guys were talking to each other and they called each other sir to their face. I've been called ma'am to my face and in email. When I complained about being called ma'am, I was told it's a polite thing, as if it's impolite to call by name, it baffled me, who made up these rules. If I had worked for Steve Jobs, I would refer to him as simply Steve and not Mr. Job.

[arleigh]

Mam-ma is in reference to the female breast.
So in essence calling some one ma-am is the implication they refer to a female, any age.
I believe it to be a most honorable distinction ,when addressing a female respectfully ,especially if you are not on a first name basis. even if you know their name.
If mom was giving direction in the home , the reply is yes mam .
The wife has a list of hone doo's she hands you , you say yes mam .

[MarciaMarshaMarcia]

People may not use "ma'am" routinely in CA but CA is not the center of the universe, either. I never heard "ma'am" very much in over half-a-century of California living, but it has never offended me; and in today's world, a little respect and manners are appreciated, at least by me.

[NewbieHere]

Originally Posted by TurquoiseOne

People may not use "ma'am" routinely in CA but CA is not the center of the universe, either. I never heard "ma'am" very much in over half-a-century of California living, but it has never offended me; and in today's world, a little respect and manners are appreciated, at least by me.

This is thread is under California. I'm sure it's common in other place.

[cornsnicker3]

Ma'am is short for Madam. It is a respectful title to use for a woman.

[Ultrarunner]

Growing up we had new neighbors move in... they were a military family and originally from Georgia...

The neighbors/neighborhood was all very low key and it was common for the kids to call adults by their first name... afterall, this is what the grown ups did...

The new neighbors were Dan and Marie...

I guess I was about 8 or 9 and noticed "Marie" had left her car lights on... being the good kid I called out to her and she didn't respond... I then said Marie and she stopped to hear me say her car lights were on.

That evening "Marie" told me it is never property to address one's elders by first name... I could say Ma'am or Mrs.... she went on to say they had never lived anywhere where it was OK for children to address adults by their first name...

A few weeks later I addressed one of our neighbors by Ma'am for the first time... she was offended and thought I was being smart...

[Nell Plotts]

My suggestion is to use Ma'am and if the person addressed is offended simply ask how they would like to be addressed. Mizz (MS) is also an option but not common.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by sandy7

So the other day I ran into someone who'd newly arrived in California who was ranting about an occasion when he used the Ma'am word and was brusquely told off by a middle-aged woman. That reminded me, as someone who moved to Cali after 5+ years in the south, I had this nurse look daggers at me at the paediatrician's office when I addressed her using the dreaded M-word.

Now I understand from Google searches that it's considered an affront to a woman's age. Yeah, while I'm getting my toddler's shots done, the age of a random stranger is surely the uppermost concern on my mind

It's understandable that every place has its peculiar mores, but with a history of working in customer support in the southern states, it would be near-impossible for me to drop my Sirs and Maams. Heck, there was a colleague at work who addressed teenaged girls as Ma'am

It's not a Bay Area or CA-specific thing. This could go into the Non-Romantic Relationships or the Psychology forum. In fact, there has been a thread on this exact topic (the M-word) in one of those forums before.