U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 11-14-2015, 07:34 PM
 
579 posts, read 507,486 times
Reputation: 363

Advertisements

My husband just had his gallbladder removed after being admitted in the er for an "attack". Needless to say, I've been scrambling all around taking care of 2 toddlers, cooking, cleaning, errands, etc.

Mom's offered to help but that would mean bringing my kids up to her place which I refused. My stepdad mentioned once that he doesnt want my kids over because he's afraid they'll cry and disrupt his sleep. My 3 year old has a history of crying in the middle of the night, mostly for growing or foot pains and it gets loud.

I am capable of handling things on my own although I admit it gets exhausting. My mom just called to check up and started crying saying she genuinely feels sorry for me. At my age (turning 26) I shouldnt be in this place. I should be enjoying life, having friends, being happy, instead of lugging around 2 toddlers. She just feels bad when she sees people my age leading a different (and more desirable) life.

I know I'm not in the best place, but is it wrong of her to make a scene out of it and make me feel like I am indeed missing out?
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-14-2015, 07:48 PM
 
1,201 posts, read 800,932 times
Reputation: 4293
Your mom wants to help. I had a toddler and baby at your age. It is a good age to have a young family while you have the energy. Both my kids are now married with children of their own and I miss that time when they were little and have fond memories of that time of my life. Also you will be young empty nester and that is good too.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2015, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,599 posts, read 1,362,209 times
Reputation: 4876
To each their own. Some people are happy having kids young, others prefer to wait. I had my first at 25 and though at the time it seemed perfectly normal, I have found that I am younger than most of the other moms I meet. The closest in age I have met were a couple moms two years older than me. Most are 4-5 years older, sometimes more. Though I feel a bit out of place because of it at times, I am perfectly happy with having kids when I did, and I wouldn't have the exact ones I have now had we waited, and I can't imagine them being or looking any other way .

I think it's okay that your mom feels the way she does. She is allowed her own feelings and just wants you to be happy, but just reassure her that you are happy and this is the path YOU wish to follow and thank her for being there for you.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2015, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,220 posts, read 41,812,025 times
Reputation: 82996
Be offended??

No, she should get her butt to your house to help!

Seriously, don't listen to anyone's speculation about your lifestyle who doesn't live it. You are NOT the only 26-year-old who has 2 small kids.

If your mom really wanted to help, she would take the kids off your hands or at least come there and help cook, clean and transport.

Ignore anything that doesn't contribute to one of those goals.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2015, 07:58 PM
 
1,201 posts, read 800,932 times
Reputation: 4293
I missed the last paragraph. Your children will only be little for a short while. It's not always easy but they are worth it. I don't regret that time of my life. Yes you get pooped on, peed on, puked on but, you get lots of cuddles and hugs and kisses.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2015, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,026 posts, read 17,342,168 times
Reputation: 41329
Was your mother a lot older when she had children?
Had she finished college or had more education than you have when she started having children?

Everyone is different. Frankly, I don't see why she started crying about your situation. Perhaps she was really crying because her new husband is a jerk for not allowing her grandchildren to visit.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top