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Old 11-14-2015, 07:34 PM
579 posts, read 507,486 times
Reputation: 363


My husband just had his gallbladder removed after being admitted in the er for an "attack". Needless to say, I've been scrambling all around taking care of 2 toddlers, cooking, cleaning, errands, etc.

Mom's offered to help but that would mean bringing my kids up to her place which I refused. My stepdad mentioned once that he doesnt want my kids over because he's afraid they'll cry and disrupt his sleep. My 3 year old has a history of crying in the middle of the night, mostly for growing or foot pains and it gets loud.

I am capable of handling things on my own although I admit it gets exhausting. My mom just called to check up and started crying saying she genuinely feels sorry for me. At my age (turning 26) I shouldnt be in this place. I should be enjoying life, having friends, being happy, instead of lugging around 2 toddlers. She just feels bad when she sees people my age leading a different (and more desirable) life.

I know I'm not in the best place, but is it wrong of her to make a scene out of it and make me feel like I am indeed missing out?
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Old 11-14-2015, 07:48 PM
1,201 posts, read 800,932 times
Reputation: 4293
Your mom wants to help. I had a toddler and baby at your age. It is a good age to have a young family while you have the energy. Both my kids are now married with children of their own and I miss that time when they were little and have fond memories of that time of my life. Also you will be young empty nester and that is good too.
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Old 11-14-2015, 07:50 PM
Location: Arizona
1,599 posts, read 1,362,209 times
Reputation: 4876
To each their own. Some people are happy having kids young, others prefer to wait. I had my first at 25 and though at the time it seemed perfectly normal, I have found that I am younger than most of the other moms I meet. The closest in age I have met were a couple moms two years older than me. Most are 4-5 years older, sometimes more. Though I feel a bit out of place because of it at times, I am perfectly happy with having kids when I did, and I wouldn't have the exact ones I have now had we waited, and I can't imagine them being or looking any other way .

I think it's okay that your mom feels the way she does. She is allowed her own feelings and just wants you to be happy, but just reassure her that you are happy and this is the path YOU wish to follow and thank her for being there for you.
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Old 11-14-2015, 07:55 PM
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,220 posts, read 41,812,025 times
Reputation: 82996
Be offended??

No, she should get her butt to your house to help!

Seriously, don't listen to anyone's speculation about your lifestyle who doesn't live it. You are NOT the only 26-year-old who has 2 small kids.

If your mom really wanted to help, she would take the kids off your hands or at least come there and help cook, clean and transport.

Ignore anything that doesn't contribute to one of those goals.
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Old 11-14-2015, 07:58 PM
1,201 posts, read 800,932 times
Reputation: 4293
I missed the last paragraph. Your children will only be little for a short while. It's not always easy but they are worth it. I don't regret that time of my life. Yes you get pooped on, peed on, puked on but, you get lots of cuddles and hugs and kisses.
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Old 11-14-2015, 07:59 PM
Location: Wisconsin
17,026 posts, read 17,342,168 times
Reputation: 41329
Was your mother a lot older when she had children?
Had she finished college or had more education than you have when she started having children?

Everyone is different. Frankly, I don't see why she started crying about your situation. Perhaps she was really crying because her new husband is a jerk for not allowing her grandchildren to visit.
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