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I don't see what the big deal is. My husband and I take separate vacations all the time. It does make it more difficult because he/she wants to go to the same place, but that's life. It's for a major birthday and is being presented as a present. I can't think of a better present for your parent.
If this trip is an all girls or all boys event, it doesn't seem particularly "weird" if it involves activities which the opposite gender wouldn't particularly enjoy. I would try to get your spouse to to explain their objections more clearly so you can understand their point of view better. Also, why are the sib and parent so in favor of excluding the spouse? Lastly, it may cause problems in the future if you use the excuse that your sib's spouse is babysitting so therefore your spouse can't go either. I guess my overall feeling from your post is that you need to be sure you are a team with your spouse first and foremost, and it will probably require some adjustment.
Seriously? You are so off base on this comment it is disgusting.
Just because one is not involved with someone does not mean they lack understanding of a situation.
It is not required for a spouse to spend every moment with each other and this was a trip that was discussed BEFORE they were married. If you think you do you have more serious issues than being insecure and should seek professional help. Don't get me wrong though.......
I think it is great when Mr. CSD and his 4 Brothers spend a weekend together without all the women around. It keeps them close as Brothers.
You are hunting me like a dog today. I hope you are enjoying it.
I see nothing at all unusual about an adult child wanting to take a vacation with her parent(s) and sibling(s). And I would say this regardless of the genders involved.
My father and I took a trip to Hawaii one time, in fulfillment of a lifelong dream of his; my wife flew out there and joined us halfway through the trip. A few years later, my dad and I took a cruise, just the two of us. He's gone now, but I will cherish those memories forever.
However, I also see the OP's new husband's point of view. They just got married, and he naturally wants to spend time with his new bride; yet she's going off on a trip without him? I think I'd be a little annoyed too.
Also, there's this to consider: has the OP and her new husband taken their honeymoon yet? If not, then that trip should be taken before she heads off on a big trip with her family.
How's this for a compromise: OP and her sibling and parent go off on their trip, while new spouse stays home . . . but they pick one city on the itinerary where spouse flies out to join them, go sightseeing together for a few days, then he flies back home while the OP and her family continues the trip.
I would definitely go on this trip. If you give in and let spouse go, or cancel the trip, you are setting a precedent that spouse is in charge. Stick to your guns. Be sweet about it, shower them with souvenirs when you return, but don't give in. You don't want to start your marriage with spouse dictating everything.
btw, Mr Book Lover and I go on separate vacations and it's fine. He doesn't want to go to CA to visit my family. That's fine, I go just me and the boys. I'm not interested in going on a trip with his cousins so he goes without me. It's all about being secure without them and not being attached at the hip.
This actually is a trip that my spouse has always wanted to take, which certainly complicates things. We've talked about our taking this same trip sometime as just the two of us. That's not making much difference, though, in terms of the trip I'm wanting to take w/ my sibling & parent.
My sole reasoning behind the vagueness was that I thought that'd be the best way to get unbiased responses. I'm asking in complete seriousness and I'm not baiting you at all by asking this: do you think your answer to the question(s) might have changed if I'd included our genders?
...part of the argument is that it's just "weird" that I would go on a trip with just my sibling and parent with no spouses. Another part is that my spouse is hurt by not being included. A part of the argument is that my sibling's spouse would be included if they didn't have kids.
I see it as perfectly normal that two siblings would travel with one of their parents. To me, it's a special trip to be able to take, especially for the parent's milestone birthday. My spouse argues that b/c we're now married that we should be making trips like this as a unit and that it should at least be the two of us, my sibling, and my parent making this trip.
My wife and her sister are doing the exact same thing with their mother next year. I think it's great. Someone having a problem with family members wanting to take a special 'alone time' trip with a parent is a dope.
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