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OP....I would suggest that you don't take a back seat....That you're feeling like you have to do that is part of your resentment towards your MIl.
Just be yourself...that is the only way you should behave around anyone. You owe it to your husband and children to not change to avoid conflict. If she is going to be snippy anyway, what's the point of not simply being you. It sets a precedent for your children...and possibly your husband, when you behave so differently....And, it seems very passive aggressive imo.
Agree, very passive aggressive.
It's more important to show children that you don't let anyone walk all over you, this can be done without getting nasty but by putting grandma in her place.
Maybe because she always makes little statements and jabs about me and my parenting choices. As I said, if there was some kind of event we hosted, then fine, but it was just us sitting
Geez, people here are so weird. They always make the poster the enemy, without question. I am always polite and agreeable with them and that is what I would've said to them no matter the meaning behind the card. I never allow her to know her insults affect me. Thank you.
People just love to attack anyone who posts anything. Vultures!
I do agree that it kind of throws you off your game a bit when you get a "Thank you" card unexpectedly. I know I have a strained relationship with my daughter in law and I would really like to improve it. Maybe its the same case with your MIL.
Maybe she enjoyed the visit a lot and felt especially close to you during that time, and when thinking about it after they got home she felt the emotion again and the note was just her way of sharing closenes with you. That's how I would feel about it if it had been me that received such a nice note. Be sure to respond!
It's also possible that while telling friends what a nice visit they had a friend might have suggested that she send you a thank you note. Or she might have seen an article online about sending a thank you note after a visit so she felt like she wanted to do that. Lots of possibilities.
My in-laws were in town visiting a couple weeks ago. We live far away, she won't fly and he still works, so we don't see them often, but the door is always open for them to visit. We didn't do much while they were here, just hung around the house, which they prefer. Anyway, I checked the mail today and there was a thank you card from them that basically said "thanks for letting us visit." I find this to be quite odd. Who sends a thank you note after a visit with family? They never have before. I feel like there is some underlying message with this like they are implying I "let" or "allowed" them to visit. Anyone else think this is weird?
They were just being polite...maybe it's something you and your husband should learn to appreciate. Not many people recognize civility anymore.
Koale
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geez...
