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Old 11-20-2015, 09:51 PM
 
Location: morrow,ga
1,081 posts, read 1,807,308 times
Reputation: 1325

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Black people are often times critcized as being 'ghetto', but if you are black and you speak proper, people make fun of you by calling you an oreo and saying that you want to be white. Most blacks really don't like you and most whites will hang out with you but they will constantly make sarcastic comments about how you are trying to be white.You really can't win. I am not comfortable around either race because of stuff like this.

This is one reason why I dislike 90% of people. People always expect you to fit every black stereotype or they try to say you really aren't "black".

I have a friend who always gives me a hard time about a lot of stupid stuff, like going to too many festivals, dating the wrong people, or because I don't do random hookups (he admits that he has trouble controlling himself and he can't help but sleep around even though he is in a relationship. he is jealous of me). But the thing he gives me the hardest time about is how he claims that I act white.

Over the years (we just started talking again in december 2014 after having a fall out a few years prior where we stopped speaking) he will always make some kind of random and somewhat sarcastic comment about me acting white. I have talked about how it bothers me when people say stuff like that. There are a few mutual friends of ours who are black and speak proper and he always comments on how they act white because they speak proper. Then last week when we were on the phone he said, "I usually can tell if I am talking to a black person on the phone by the way they sound, except if I am talking to you." So basically the last part of that statement was him taking a shot at me by saying I sound white. He has said other stuff like "you sound like a country white boy" or "that white dude is blacker than you and Greg combined" (greg is a mutual black friend of ours). Plus my friend makes racist generalizations about blacks in front of me. The last time he came to visit me, he wanted to go to waffle house but he told me "I won't go in the waffle house by where you live because too many black people go in there and black people are loud and I don't wanna get shot" ( i live in a nice, mostly black area).

He also is in a relationship with a black guy and only dates black guys (even though he is attracted to white guys as well). Most of the black guys he dates act ghetto so he expects every black guy to be like that. He grew up and still lives in a really small town in south alabama, so I try to cut him some slack because I know people in small southern towns tend to be closed-minded.

I am only attracted to whites, but I am becoming really leery of dating them. Most white people I have dated have said racist comments to me and put me down because I supposedly act white. I am tired of everybody associating being black with being ghetto. We are not all the same.

 
Old 11-20-2015, 10:30 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,659,779 times
Reputation: 54735
Properly
 
Old 11-20-2015, 10:48 PM
 
13,721 posts, read 19,185,114 times
Reputation: 16970
Just keep on doing what you are doing and meeting new friends until you find the right ones. I once worked with a black girl that was a lot like you. She sounded white, spoke properly, was well educated, and she would comment on how she HATED ebonics and how black people made themselves look unintelligent talking that way. She also had a problem with the names black people named their kids and her kids all had, I guess you would say, "white" names.


I never heard her comment on what other black people thought about her "acting" and sounding white, but I thought she was intelligent and wise and funny and I really enjoyed getting to know her and hearing her perspective. Wise is how I would best describe her. I learned a lot from her.


Just be who you are and ignore the people who try to put you down or make you act the way they want you to act. Follow your own script, not the script they have written for you.
 
Old 11-20-2015, 11:12 PM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,567,314 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by ninersfan82 View Post
Black people are often times critcized as being 'ghetto', but if you are black and you speak proper, people make fun of you by calling you an oreo and saying that you want to be white. Most blacks really don't like you and most whites will hang out with you but they will constantly make sarcastic comments about how you are trying to be white.You really can't win. I am not comfortable around either race because of stuff like this.

This is one reason why I dislike 90% of people. People always expect you to fit every black stereotype or they try to say you really aren't "black".

I have a friend who always gives me a hard time about a lot of stupid stuff, like going to too many festivals, dating the wrong people, or because I don't do random hookups (he admits that he has trouble controlling himself and he can't help but sleep around even though he is in a relationship. he is jealous of me). But the thing he gives me the hardest time about is how he claims that I act white.

Over the years (we just started talking again in december 2014 after having a fall out a few years prior where we stopped speaking) he will always make some kind of random and somewhat sarcastic comment about me acting white. I have talked about how it bothers me when people say stuff like that. There are a few mutual friends of ours who are black and speak proper and he always comments on how they act white because they speak proper. Then last week when we were on the phone he said, "I usually can tell if I am talking to a black person on the phone by the way they sound, except if I am talking to you." So basically the last part of that statement was him taking a shot at me by saying I sound white. He has said other stuff like "you sound like a country white boy" or "that white dude is blacker than you and Greg combined" (greg is a mutual black friend of ours). Plus my friend makes racist generalizations about blacks in front of me. The last time he came to visit me, he wanted to go to waffle house but he told me "I won't go in the waffle house by where you live because too many black people go in there and black people are loud and I don't wanna get shot" ( i live in a nice, mostly black area).

He also is in a relationship with a black guy and only dates black guys (even though he is attracted to white guys as well). Most of the black guys he dates act ghetto so he expects every black guy to be like that. He grew up and still lives in a really small town in south alabama, so I try to cut him some slack because I know people in small southern towns tend to be closed-minded.

I am only attracted to whites, but I am becoming really leery of dating them. Most white people I have dated have said racist comments to me and put me down because I supposedly act white. I am tired of everybody associating being black with being ghetto. We are not all the same.
I know what you mean. I'm sure some people think that I act white based on the way I speak and my taste in music, etc. but I don't really care. Being black in America is just tough, but I would never try to act like everyone else just to fit in. Just appreciate the people in your life who appreciate you and forget about what anyone else thinks about you.
 
Old 11-21-2015, 06:52 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,415 posts, read 47,402,095 times
Reputation: 47680
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Properly

 
Old 11-21-2015, 07:03 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 4,311,680 times
Reputation: 4965
I talk properly because that's the way I was raised. There's a phonetic way to say every word.

I hate seeing and hearing my people talk improperly because it sounds like they have a speech impediment. What is even worse is when they mumble. I'm constantly saying, "Could you please repeat that?" or "Could you please enunciate?".
 
Old 11-21-2015, 07:08 AM
 
5,390 posts, read 9,658,949 times
Reputation: 9988
Gays are so superficial and shallow.
Just do you. Don't worry about what your friend says. Maybe re-evaluate why he is ur friend? And dump his @ss as a friend. Who nmeeds him?

You need to meet and hang out with more sophosticated, worldly, educated people. Not these basic clowns u curently deal with.
 
Old 11-21-2015, 08:17 AM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,328,706 times
Reputation: 6171
I'm black and I was raised in the 'hood, but my parents instilled in me to speak, act, and carry myself as a civilized person! In school, my grades were above average; in my professional life I had mentors, so to speak, who taught me how to put my best foot (or shoe) forward. My closest friends used to say (in their own words) that I talk "high-class", 'cause I knew a lot of "big" words and their definitions. I've been praised by many, denounced by some. But I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anything in the world!
Just be yourself. If people don't accept that, then it's their problem!
 
Old 11-21-2015, 08:18 AM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,328,706 times
Reputation: 6171
Quote:
Originally Posted by luzianne View Post
Just keep on doing what you are doing and meeting new friends until you find the right ones. I once worked with a black girl that was a lot like you. She sounded white, spoke properly, was well educated, and she would comment on how she HATED ebonics and how black people made themselves look unintelligent talking that way. She also had a problem with the names black people named their kids and her kids all had, I guess you would say, "white" names.


I never heard her comment on what other black people thought about her "acting" and sounding white, but I thought she was intelligent and wise and funny and I really enjoyed getting to know her and hearing her perspective. Wise is how I would best describe her. I learned a lot from her.


Just be who you are and ignore the people who try to put you down or make you act the way they want you to act. Follow your own script, not the script they have written for you.
This says it all! Read my post above.
 
Old 11-21-2015, 08:19 AM
 
37,494 posts, read 45,798,776 times
Reputation: 56996
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Properly
Perfect.
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