Thanksgiving Without Family (holiday, college, issues, money)
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I haven't been to a Xmas/Thanksgiving family get together since I left MN 22 years ago, and I don't miss any of it.
Much has changed in 22 years. My sister usually staged it at her house, and 22 years ago, at least 1/3 of the participants smoked, and everybody has quit but me. So! Running outside in the cold weather to enjoy a smoke, by myself!
There were no Smartphones back then, and I can only imagine what it's like today at one of these gatherings, with younger 2nd cousins, great nephews/nieces, bored with this 65YO, escaping into their Smartphones.
This year, my Mexican roommate/friend is in Mexico, and it's just me and my ferret, and oh how I'm looking forward to it, just the 2 of us!
There are many who spend a typical dysfunctional Thanksgiving day with their family and end up wishing they'd stayed away. It's just one day, and one meal, and the media makes such a big deal out of "family" that it can make people feel sad and neglected if they're not spending the day with relatives.
Same with Christmas . . . all the hype makes some start to think that it truly is "...the most wonderful time of the year, and the hap-happiest season of all."
The best Thanksgiving I ever had was completely family-free. Two single friends invited a whole group of us "orphans," we all brought dishes and pitched in with the cleanup, and we had so much fun. On the other hand, spending Thanksgiving with relatives always seems like a chore, especially if you don't have kids. That can make you feel like a square peg in a round hole (I like that phrase "breeder-centric").
If I were single again, I would try to get together as many other singles as possible and do it again.
a.k.a. Orphan Thanksgiving (and also Orphan Christmas). It's a great idea and usually more fun than dealing with unloved "loved ones"!
I had Thanksgiving alone last year...it was great. Instead of a traditional meal I made ribs and fries with peach pie for dessert and binged on Netflix.
This will be the first year in our 30 year marriage that neither one of us will have to be at work for one or all of the holidays. Over the years we used to spend some of the holidays that we were not working with friends, but one moved away and one died a couple of years after the friendship was over. We haven't spent any holiday with John's family in 28 years and never will. I'm cooking tomorrow and one friend will be with us who is in the same boat with her family. I was kind of looking forward to it just being John and I with a nice bottle of champagne but we can do that any time now that I'm unemployed as well. My friend is older and not well from years of smoking so I'm sure it will be just the two of us some Thanksgiving in the future. I'm always envious of happy families that have great holidays as it's something I will never experience. I think the reality is that they are few and far between though. I listen to most of my friends complain about how stressful the holidays are and then I think that I should be careful what I wish for. We will have a nice meal, no fighting, and a relaxing day down in the movie room watching something funny and complaining about how full we are No stress.
My DH is in the Rockies hunting elk and I'm in my winter spot in Mexico. Our adult children are both single so I imagine they will get together for a meal. Both are good cooks so they may eat at home.
I plan to visit a new Austrian restaurant and have their schnitzel and strudel with a view of the ocean and afterwards, if the weather is nice, I'll take a dip.
The thing I know we'll all miss the most is our traditional meal. if I had grandkids it's certain that I'd be home now. But I'm an introvert and have no problem spending time alone.
I do think, as someone else mentioned, that when I was younger it would have been more important to me to be with family. Now all the parents, in-laws, aunts and uncles are gone so that makes a difference.
I'd be glad to be invited to someone's home for a meal but spending time with an unfamiliar family during a holiday sounds like it would take a little more energy than I care to expend. A different day, perhaps.
I didn't get married until I was almost 41, so I spent every single Thanksgiving at someone else's house. Parents, siblings', sometimes a girlfriend's family.....
Married for ten years, I was adamant that I was going to be HOME on Thanksgiving.
Divorce came last year (just in time for the holidaze), and some great friends invited me over to their house for the big dinner.
I was miserable.
This year, I'm staying home alone. I'll be making posole (look that up....it's wonderful and even better the next day), and smoking a pork shoulder. Football & beer will take up my day.
I have family in town and family in a nearby town. I'm not celebrating Thanksgiving with any of them. Some year maybe I'll look back on it and regret it, but right now it feels pretty good. It would feel even better if I didn't have to cook the Thanksgiving meal for my husband and kids.
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No stress.
