Anybody else have Thanksgiving/holiday blues?

[ellenrr]

a final comment, might be of use to someone.
Yesterday I was reading a book about the Dalai Lama. In it, he tells the story of a woman who is about to send a very angry, guilt-inducing letter to her daughter, bec. the daughter had left her to spend a holiday somewhere, and the woman felt very bad about it. And then the woman realized that when something arouses huge, inappropriate emotions in her, it is probably a reminder of something that happened when she was a child. So instead of writing the letter she did a meditation using compassion.

It made me realize that my holding on SO long to my anger over my siblings, and my intense concentration on it, is also an inappropriate response. Also a reaction to things that hurt me when I was a child, not a reaction to events in current time. Displaced reaction we might say....

When I realized that, the intense brooding about the situation melted away,
happy to say. (mostly).
I do meditate regularly, but I am not familiar with the "compassion meditation", so will look into it.

I just replied to my sibling's email, with a "chatty" letter and at the end a word about myself - when I feel bad, what I do to help myself. But no blame.
And hopefully I have informed them somewhat about me.
And if they don't get it or don't care or don't respond to it, well, then , it is what it is.
They are there for me in other ways, and I am grateful for that.

be well, all.

[Jukesgrrl]

Originally Posted by Atlguy39

I now hate the holidays. I wish I didn't, but without someone in my life and not being close with my mother or brother, I just get sad every year. I just try to get through them without drinking myself to death, because thats what I want to do every year. My ex wife loved the holidays so much and I didn't appreciate that when I had it. Our house was so festive and it was all her. Now all I do is remember those times and live in regret.

Are you trying to find a new mate? I'm sure there are many lonely women out there who would have loved to be taken out to Thanksgiving dinner. Your ex- is not the only woman out there. And now that you have learned to appreciate the "female perspective" she brought to your life, you are likely to be a better mate and more attractive to women who would like to have a man in their lives. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, get out there and DATE.

Originally Posted by Javacoffee

I can't remember the last time someone asked how I was doing, other than the superficial greeting, as in "Hi, how are ya?" I have tons of serious medical issues along with two medications that I inject into my stomach every day. It would be nice if a family member would sit down with me and sincerely ask how I'm doing. Nobody does.
As for the holidays, I'd rather they passed by unnoticed. They are nothing but an expensive let-down.

I'm sorry you have such serious medical issues. I know what a burden that is and it probably interferes with your enjoyment of most days. Is it possible, however, that you DO talk about your issues a lot and just don't realize how it dominates your conversation? My mother is like that. She lives with me and being hard of hearing she speaks loudly and I can hear every one of her telephone conversations no matter what room I am in. Every person she talks to gets the full run of every one of her recent doctor appointments in response to the question, "How are you?"

I know she is miserable and in pain but I think perhaps if she used a phone call to focus on some other subject, she might have a short respite from her problems. My siblings call her a lot and she's lucky they do because I know they don't enjoy it. They jokingly refer to her phone calls as "getting the pain report." If you aren't doing that, I apologize. But how often, when someone says, "How are you?" do you reply, "No, I want to hear how YOU are," just to get your mind off your own discomfort.