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I have never admitted this to anybody around me, despite being accused all my life of "acting white" or not being black enough. I mean, I really like other black people but somedays I would rather be white. I get tired of being a member of the race that is always accused of being criminals or dumb. I really hate being stereotyped more than I hate cancer! It is more acceptable to be intelligent and educated if you are white. I have always been kind of jealous of light-skinned blacks, because it seems they are thought of, by society, as being more attractive (even alot of blacks prefer to date a light skinned black) and they get more acceptance from whites. I have never seen a light skinned black person being called out for speaking proper English but I have seen dark skinned blacks called out.
I am not attracted to anyone of my race, ever. I think blacks are good looking, especially blacks like Laz Alonso, Boris Kodjoe, Nicole Parker, Hill Harper, Morris Chestnut...the list goes on, but they don't turn me on. White men and white women are terribly attractive. Not all of them, but alot of them, especially if they are chubby LOL. I have been turned down many times by whites because I'm black. I am not surprised. Most white people really do not want to date blacks so that narrows my dating pool. If I was white, I would have an easier time getting a white mate. If you look in most magazines, most of the models are white males. Damn, I wonder why?
I like having white friends, but I find some white people say racist comments to their black friends. I kinda feel uncomfortable around white people,especially if they have money. I start to think they are secretly judging me. I am not exactly comfortable around most blacks either, unless they are not ghetto, and even then I don't feel like I fit in. Sometimes, I feel I should have been born bi-racial, because I don't feel like I fit in with either race. Although, I am glad I am not bi-racial because I feel really sorry for the struggles they go thru growing up and being picked on. Most bi-racial people have self-hatred issues..very bad.
LMAO I know I am not the only black person on here that struggles with accepting being black. I am 33. Never thought I would be struggling with this in my life, still.
FWIW, I understand on the level of being somewhat of an oddball outsider myself in many ways. You haven't yet found your "tribe" (where you fit in) and it might not be easy for you to do so. I wish you luck and acceptance.
I'm not black, or a man, but I can guarantee lots of people aren't comfortable in their own skin. Work on accepting yourself for who you are, removing the race factor. When we are happy in our own skin, all of that other stuff somehow seems less prominent.
Hopefully we'll see white privilege fall away in this lifetime. The younger generation gives me hope .
I am not attracted to anyone of my race, ever. I think blacks are good looking, especially blacks like Laz Alonso, Boris Kodjoe, Nicole Parker, Hill Harper, Morris Chestnut...the list goes on, but they don't turn me on. White men and white women are terribly attractive. Not all of them, but alot of them, especially if they are chubby LOL. I have been turned down many times by whites because I'm black. I am not surprised. Most white people really do not want to date blacks so that narrows my dating pool. If I was white, I would have an easier time getting a white mate. If you look in most magazines, most of the models are white males. Damn, I wonder why?
Attraction is a funny thing, isn't it? We all find certain attributes to be attractive and certain ones to not be, and there's really no explaining it, is there? What you find attractive is chubby white people, for whatever reason. The good news for you is that, at least in my observation, most black-white interracial couples I see consist of an athletic black man and a chubby white woman. So don't give up hope! (Though, this seems to be more of a lower-class phenomenon; I don't see as many such couples who are middle class or upper class. Not trying to be judgmental, just offering my observations.)
I do sympathize with you. Black men are saddled with some rather unfortunate stereotypes, and it must be highly annoying for a decent, intelligent, law-abiding black man to be lumped in with his unsavory "brothers." I suppose all you can do is live your life in such a way as to refute the stereotype, and hope that people will get to know you for the person you are.
I'll echo the previous poster and say that, first and foremost, you have to be comfortable in your own skin. God made you who you are, of which being a black male is only part of the overall package. In addition to your sex and race, you are also a person with particular interests, hobbies, temperament, talents, skills, etc. etc. etc. All of that, in total, is who you are. Embrace the person who you are; emphasize your good attributes, work to change any negative attributes you might have, and enjoy being who you are. I think you'll find that other people -- yes, including chubby white people -- will come to find you to be more appealing as a result.
I have never admitted this to anybody around me, despite being accused all my life of "acting white" or not being black enough. I mean, I really like other black people but somedays I would rather be white. I get tired of being a member of the race that is always accused of being criminals or dumb. I really hate being stereotyped more than I hate cancer! It is more acceptable to be intelligent and educated if you are white. I have always been kind of jealous of light-skinned blacks, because it seems they are thought of, by society, as being more attractive (even alot of blacks prefer to date a light skinned black) and they get more acceptance from whites. I have never seen a light skinned black person being called out for speaking proper English but I have seen dark skinned blacks called out.
I am not attracted to anyone of my race, ever. I think blacks are good looking, especially blacks like Laz Alonso, Boris Kodjoe, Nicole Parker, Hill Harper, Morris Chestnut...the list goes on, but they don't turn me on. White men and white women are terribly attractive. Not all of them, but alot of them, especially if they are chubby LOL. I have been turned down many times by whites because I'm black. I am not surprised. Most white people really do not want to date blacks so that narrows my dating pool. If I was white, I would have an easier time getting a white mate. If you look in most magazines, most of the models are white males. Damn, I wonder why?
I like having white friends, but I find some white people say racist comments to their black friends. I kinda feel uncomfortable around white people,especially if they have money. I start to think they are secretly judging me. I am not exactly comfortable around most blacks either, unless they are not ghetto, and even then I don't feel like I fit in. Sometimes, I feel I should have been born bi-racial, because I don't feel like I fit in with either race. Although, I am glad I am not bi-racial because I feel really sorry for the struggles they go thru growing up and being picked on. Most bi-racial people have self-hatred issues..very bad.
LMAO I know I am not the only black person on here that struggles with accepting being black. I am 33. Never thought I would be struggling with this in my life, still.
This doesn't sound unusual at all. I have had black friends in the same predicament - they are middle or upper middle class, well-educated, and were probably the only black person in their high school, or one of very few. They don't "talk black" and they don't fit in with mainstream black culture, but they don't feel like they fit in with mainstream white culture either. Most of them married white people, too. I don't think your feelings are specific to being black - I think many people feel that for some reason they don't fit into any group. I think as we get older we get better at sorting this out and figuring out who we are or learning to accept what is over what we feel should be. I think your feelings are pretty normal and justifiable and in time you'll come to some kind of understanding and acceptance.
Could this be a regional thing? Have you explored other Cities like Atlanta where interracial relationships/marriages are fairly common? My cousin is white with a black wife and they are both two very beautiful, very happy people. They do occasionally catch looks when they leave Atlanta proper but thats fairly rare.
Ninersfan, sit and take a deep breath, and consider who you are. I don't mean what you look like, I mean who you are in terms of your core values, your interests, passions, hobbies, etc. What are the intangibles that make up you? Now consider that these are the things that will connect you with your friends and with those who you love and who love you in return. Friendship, love, relationships, all of those things transcend all else. Skin color, income, all of those things are not important to those who you have a true connection with.
So people just don't fit in well. I come from a very well educated family but I have been taught to "code-switch" from a young age. I pretty much can fit in with anyone. However, my brother isn't very good at it and gets called "white boy" and tease.
However, don't think light skinned black have it so easy we still get followed around the store lol. I find black people are the only ones who treat being "light skinned" like it is a different race.
Have you tried making friends in some of the educated pro-black circles.
Try to find someone like you and they are out there. Not sure what state you are in but they are places to go to meet people like you.
I don't think this is an experience many white people understand at least my friends don't. When they make comments like your not like the rest. I don't know who the "rest" is they might be referring to because no one in my family behaves that way.
I also don't know your age but after I went to college I made friends easily even though I didn't share those stereotypical black experiences.
I understand what you say I am not black either man ,, Being a mix races I know how you feel about being ignored due to the color skin. But you need be your self get a thick skin. I know from my own self,, be you who you are have a thick skin. Dont shame about being black.
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