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It happens, and it is no reflection on how much they love you, but people just get caught up in their own lives and time slips by. It especially happens when you have been with someone for a lot of years. In the beginning you tend to remember anniversaries, birthdays, etc, but as the years roll by they can be overlooked.
Don't take it personally, I have forgotten important dates too, and it was nothing more than me having so many other things on my mind that time just flew by before I remembered.
OK. I get all the people who say no big deal. As long as everyone in the family feels that way, wonderful. Feel free to ignore all celebratory occasions.
I'm the polar opposite. I love celebrating my occasions, your occasions, and every holiday ever invented. I love giving and receiving gifts, parties, special meals and just in general being appreciated and showing appreciation to others. I hate feeling like I am taken for granted and unimportant.
I married a man whose family celebrated nothing. Christmas might be a new pair of socks and a turkey in the oven. I flat told him that was not how I roll. Holidays are a big deal and you don't ever forget! Can't afford it, that's fine! Just don't forget!
And just like you, I am cursed with a birthday too close to Christmas. All my life it's been Merry Christmas and this is for your birthday too! So not fair! Maybe that made me a bit too sensitive about being forgotten. The big holidays are easy. You would have to be living on another planet to miss them. It's those pesky birthdays and anniversaries.
H missed a few and I told him there was going to be a price to pay and he assured me he would never forget again. Well of course, he did. I went on strike. All I did was go to work. He was totally mystified for a few days. Where's dinner? There's the stove, have at it. Out of clean underwear? Maybe you should do some laundry. Where's my lunch? Probably in the fridge. Why is the fridge empty? Has it been a long time since you went to the store? Why is there snow in the driveway? Probably because you didn't shovel. Why is the sink full of dishes? Maybe because you didn't wash your dishes. Finally he had to break down and ask me what was wrong. I told him since he did not value me or think I was important enough to remember my birthday, I decided to stop being a value added partner.
At first he was angry but he came around. He figured out I did more than my share of the work and expecting him to remember holidays really shouldn't be too much to expect. He never forgot again. And over time he turned into a holiday loving person too!
From now on post your birthday on the family calendar. And a week before say, this year for my birthday I want us all to...
This is what happens when the organizer of family activities has a special day. Hugs all around and smile big---your pain in rear mother is leaving!
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas
You need to train your family better. Help them NOT to forget you. Maybe start a countdown each day to your big day. Or start joking about December being your Birthday Month. Start calling the Xmas tree your "Birthday Tree" and do other funny things.
Great ideas.
OP, Happy Birthday.
I know someone who was the birthday organizer for her group of friends. She always planned the parties, ordered the cakes, sent hand-made cards to everyone, people came to rely on her to always buy them the perfect gift, etc.
You guessed it. When her birthday rolled around everyone, or almost everyone, would forget. It would be especially upsetting because her birthday was really easy to remember. Picture a date like The Fourth of July or April Fool's Day. Finally she stopped being the "birthday organizer" for her group as people rarely ever did anything for her.
Finally after years of being disappointed, a week or so before her birthday she would talk to one or two close friends and they would just plan to go to dinner or something for her birthday.
Yes......
There's some very creative ways to shame them for their very "faulty" memories
Bake yourself a cake...and put [to mom] on it.
Buy yourself something nice and open it at breakfast
Make what YOU want for supper..
Do something special for yourself, and if anyone questions why...you tell em a birthday only comes once a year.
It's happened before that my husband forgot to wish me a happy birthday and I've reminded him at 3pm, but never before has everyone in my household forgotten. What do you think I should do? How would you feel?
I'm just sitting here not sure what to think or do. Other than I'm a bit put out about it.
And no, there isn't going to be a surprise... my mom is flying out of here in a couple hours and my husband is simply oblivious. He's got a kind heart, but literally an absent-minded professor type.
Advice? Comments?
Advice on what?? if you need to remind someone to say happy birthday, how happy can that really be for you?
Sounds like an unneccesary guilt trip is being put on your family over this. Maybe they didn't forget, maybe they just are not interested in participating in the manipulation to fake a happy birthday again for you. It cannot be happy for them when pressured to perform a charade for you under obligation.
My Mother was like that, so maybe my view is skewed here so apologize if I am offbase. But how anyone could pout about not having their B-Day acknowledged by family, isn't well, normal to me. Are they not nice to you the rest of the year? be appreciative of that and instead of pouting, thank them of the other days you benefited.
We have some really weird threads here today. Sounds like a bunch of spoiled kids got loose from Chuck E Cheese Pizza Factory. Too bad we couldn't send everyone off (including myself) to an impoverished country to volunteer for a while. I think we all need it as a reality check sometimes. I know I do.
How old are your children? If they are over 10 then they should have been reminded by you if your husband is not good with dates. Children need to be trained to be aware of other peoples feelings. Put a big note on the refrigerator in advance. Kids love to make things for people. The note should also have made your hubby aware too.
My birthday is Dec 11 and it's crappy to be so close to Christmas. No one asked me lol. My mother used to celebrate my birthday by reminding me about giving birth to me, her first child. So it's not just about you, you could have reminded your mother about that, it's kinda her day too.
My husband has never forgotten my birthday but he is great about things like that plus has it on his computer to remind him ha. We don't do much special but it is nice to be wished Happy Birthday. On Facebook everyone remembers because we get a notice automatically for all our friends. If someone misses it then it's on purpose :-(
My DH remembers my birthday, but my adult children are very unreliable. Sometimes I get an email, or something a few days late. Of course we always remember their birthdays!
I think if no one is marking your birthday, you need to plan something for yourself and put it on the family calendar. Buy yourself something that you know you want, make yourself a cake or whatever it is you want, and have yourself a do however you want to. I doubt that your DH will ever be able to remember this, if he hasn't before. So, just recognize this and give yourself the birthday you want.
And, this should cut both ways. You aren't responsible for remembering your DH's birthday if he can't remember yours. At least that's my opinion on this.
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- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
