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My brother just broke up with his girlfriend and since they were renting out a place together, now he doesn't have a place to stay in.
He should have just stayed in the dorms.
Thanks for the advice
-J
Let me summarize this for you.
1. He broke up with her, but didn't have a plan on where to stay afterwards? That's his bad. If she's breaking up with him, she should go.
2. A freshman in college is quite capable of the bone-headed mistakes described in 1. so yes, he should go to the dorms.
I'd get HIM to call the school and see if there's a dorm available. Freshman drop out so there's probably one someplace. If not, he needs to get on the waiting list. Find out how long that is. From then on, he's your family. Take him in for a couple of months.
I took in my sister for a couple of years after she got divorced from her husband. We were just far enough apart growing up that, while we were close, we didn't do the same things at any given point. It was actually a lot of fun seeing her as an adult and I treasure those times.
The rest I'm going to dismiss as he's going to cramp your style, which would be fine if he was a friend, but he's family. Man up.
He's family, so you should take him in for at least the same amount of time as if he were on a visit. You can suck it up and not have sex for a couple weeks if you're worried about him walking in on you, or your boyfriend should have a place, or go rent a hotel room. What about renting a bigger place so you'd have room for your brother? Can you help him find somewhere else? Family is family, it's not like they're only there when it's convenient for you. More than likely, the boyfriend will be replaced but the brother will always be your brother so get your priorities figured out.
My brother just broke up with his girlfriend and since they were renting out a place together, now he doesn't have a place to stay in. He called me up the other day and asked me if it would be possible for him to move in with me for a few weeks until he finds himself a small cheap apartment. I tried to stall a bit of time and told him I was really busy and that we'd talk soon, since we're both studying in NYC. He's my brother, and I love him, and I feel really bad that he and his girlfriend broke up, but this really isn't a convenient time for him to move in with me. At all. First of all, I'm studying 24/7 and when I'm not, I'd like to go out and spend some time with my boyfriend or my friends. I really don't mean to sound insensitive, it's just that I have no time for him at the moment.
I know he needs emotional support and comfort from me. We were really close during High School and had to deal with a lot of family stuff together, and we didn't really have anybody besides each other, but I don't think he realizes that things are different now, and that I'm not always going to have the time or the energy for him. He's a year younger than me and it's actually his first year at Uni so he doesn't really know anybody here. I was kind of happy when he told me he'd be coming to NYC to study, I mean, I have no other family here, so having somebody close to me isn't a bad thing, It's just the fact that my brother thinks I'm somewhat available for him at all times that bothers me.
He's generally really sensitive and he had a really hard time during High School, no friends, no girlfriend, nothing. And loads of bullying because he used to be overweight. I really don't want to upset him by telling him "No. You can't stay." It will hurt him, and then I'll feel really guilty. Our parents are all the way in California, there's no way he can live with them because he's studying here.
Another problem is my boyfriend. Obviously I'm going to have him over at my place, and it's going to be really awkward if my brother accidentally walks in on us in a compromising position. It's already happened before with my boyfriend from High School, my brother walked in on us having sex and it was so incredibly awkward I actually cringe when thinking about it. I don't want a repeat of that.
Bottom line is, I really love my brother, but the last thing I want is for him to move in with me, it just won't work, but I don't know how to tell him, and also, where is he going to go? Ugh this is all so conflicting. He should have just stayed in the dorms, that's true.
Thanks for the advice
-J
I haven't taken the time to read the responses.
So here is my thinking...
If you needed a place for a few weeks, would you want him to diss you?
He should be crashing at his male buddies place, not his sister's. Just be upfront with him and tell him what you have going on, especially your BF coming over. It is part of maturing as an adult and being firm, yet polite, with your family.
OP has really strange thoughts, considerations, and messed up priorities.
There are way too many inconsistencies for this to be true.
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