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What if he was unhappily married and just stayed in his misery because he felt obligated to do so? Not all marriages are picture perfect Norman Rockwell scenes. One of my besties is just a room mate to her husband and it's been that way for a decade. He's very sick now and if something happens to him I would not fault her for beginning a new relationship the day after he was gone. She has been emotionally and physically denied of any closeness for years. It's not any easy way to live. When you love someone from the depth of your being then replacing them is beyond difficult if not impossible. If you're stuck in an impossible situation and are finally free, the mentality is different. I don't think there is enough information about his relationship to understand his motives for being involved so soon. I have to agree that judging him is wrong as well. We all handle these situations differently and to the best of our abilities. If something were to happen to John, the one great love of my life I know in my heart that I could not rebound in a month or two, if ever. I have physical needs as well and finding a way to satisfy those would put me in great conflict emotionally. There is also the issue of timing. What if you meet someone who could be your soul mate the week after you're left alone. Do you let that opportunity pass because of some one else's opinion that it's too soon, or do you go for it knowing that it may never come again if you don't? Life is also complicated enough without trying to run someone else's.
What if he was unhappily married and just stayed in his misery because he felt obligated to do so? Not all marriages are picture perfect Norman Rockwell scenes. One of my besties is just a room mate to her husband and it's been that way for a decade. He's very sick now and if something happens to him I would not fault her for beginning a new relationship the day after he was gone. She has been emotionally and physically denied of any closeness for years. It's not any easy way to live. When you love someone from the depth of your being then replacing them is beyond difficult if not impossible. If you're stuck in an impossible situation and are finally free, the mentality is different. I don't think there is enough information about his relationship to understand his motives for being involved so soon. I have to agree that judging him is wrong as well. We all handle these situations differently and to the best of our abilities. If something were to happen to John, the one great love of my life I know in my heart that I could not rebound in a month or two, if ever. I have physical needs as well and finding a way to satisfy those would put me in great conflict emotionally. There is also the issue of timing. What if you meet someone who could be your soul mate the week after you're left alone. Do you let that opportunity pass because of some one else's opinion that it's too soon, or do you go for it knowing that it may never come again if you don't? Life is also complicated enough without trying to run someone else's.
Which is why you don't add to the complications by having a baby with a woman you only met a few months ago, when you already have 3 underage children who no longer have a mother.
Your story and this one are apples and oranges, you're talking about a long term caregiver, the wife in this story was ill and dead within a few weeks.
Regardless of the state of this marriage, he needs to cool his jets. His priority for the time being should be his children not getting laid.
What if he was unhappily married and just stayed in his misery because he felt obligated to do so? Not all marriages are picture perfect Norman Rockwell scenes. One of my besties is just a room mate to her husband and it's been that way for a decade. He's very sick now and if something happens to him I would not fault her for beginning a new relationship the day after he was gone. She has been emotionally and physically denied of any closeness for years. It's not any easy way to live. When you love someone from the depth of your being then replacing them is beyond difficult if not impossible. If you're stuck in an impossible situation and are finally free, the mentality is different. I don't think there is enough information about his relationship to understand his motives for being involved so soon. I have to agree that judging him is wrong as well. We all handle these situations differently and to the best of our abilities. If something were to happen to John, the one great love of my life I know in my heart that I could not rebound in a month or two, if ever. I have physical needs as well and finding a way to satisfy those would put me in great conflict emotionally. There is also the issue of timing. What if you meet someone who could be your soul mate the week after you're left alone. Do you let that opportunity pass because of some one else's opinion that it's too soon, or do you go for it knowing that it may never come again if you don't? Life is also complicated enough without trying to run someone else's.
Good points!
I have also known people that were in great wonderful loving relationships and then had their spouse die. They missed the closeness of that and looked forward to starting a new one. Not to replace the person, but the companionship.
It is not the same being with just friends and family.
My whole live and let live, and people grieve their own way doesn't apply (IMO) when you have kids. You have to be respectful of their grief too, and he is not doing that.
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So one of my very close cousins came to visit me for the new year and is staying by me until saturday. They live about 5 hours a way and usually come up every year. So his wife died in the beginning of october. They were married for 16 years and have 3 children. All in there teens. The kids are visiting another one of our family members for the christmas. Well anyway he came to visit and bought his new girlfriend. He never mentioned to anyone he was seeing someone. I am very upset and told him it was a bit too son and quite tacky. He told me he was bringing his friend but I assumed he meant his best friend who usually comes up all the time and I have know since childhood. Not a new girlfriend. She was speaking to me while I was cooking and said they have been dating for 3 months. Like why would anyone start dating right after there wife dies.
Im just venting because I'm quite disgusted and I definitely gave him my opinion as did his sister. His only excuse was his NEEDS.
I truly would hope that whenever I go my husband will take a little bit of time to mourn me.
It's none of your business. People deal with loss in different ways.
What if he was unhappily married and just stayed in his misery because he felt obligated to do so? Not all marriages are picture perfect Norman Rockwell scenes. One of my besties is just a room mate to her husband and it's been that way for a decade. He's very sick now and if something happens to him I would not fault her for beginning a new relationship the day after he was gone. She has been emotionally and physically denied of any closeness for years. It's not any easy way to live. When you love someone from the depth of your being then replacing them is beyond difficult if not impossible. If you're stuck in an impossible situation and are finally free, the mentality is different. I don't think there is enough information about his relationship to understand his motives for being involved so soon. I have to agree that judging him is wrong as well. We all handle these situations differently and to the best of our abilities. If something were to happen to John, the one great love of my life I know in my heart that I could not rebound in a month or two, if ever. I have physical needs as well and finding a way to satisfy those would put me in great conflict emotionally. There is also the issue of timing. What if you meet someone who could be your soul mate the week after you're left alone. Do you let that opportunity pass because of some one else's opinion that it's too soon, or do you go for it knowing that it may never come again if you don't? Life is also complicated enough without trying to run someone else's.
The least he could do is keep his "new" relationship quiet and not flaunt his new GF in front of his kids and the rest of the family.
And it is the OP's business because he brought his new GF to the OP's home under the guise that she was his old friend that the OP had known a long time--not a quick replacement for his newly deceased wife.
Last edited by staywarm2; 01-01-2016 at 11:25 AM..
Having a child in a NEW relationship is a recipe for disaster, no matter whether you are already
a granny or not!!!
yeah, could be. My former neighbor is a granny and just had a baby with her new boyfriend. I think it helps her think she is still young. And she is, just got started out having kids way too young and so did her daughter. So there you have a 30 something year old granny with a new baby.
Not something I would do, but whatever floats your boat.
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, when you already have 3 underage children who no longer have a mother.
