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Let it go! He is single, and he can date whomever he wants, under whatever circumstances he wants. None of your business. If his kids want to be angry, that's their business, not yours.
don't fault anyone for wanting companionship, loneliness is a void that haunts people, tho cant be seen
I would question the mental health of anyone who can't stand the void for a couple weeks.
And I've been through it.
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I would question the mental health of anyone who can't stand the void for a couple weeks.
And I've been through it.
But that is you and how you feel. Everyone doesn't think or feel like you.
I know several people who have lost their spouse. Most of the men started dating or found some form of companionship within a few months. Most of the women dated a few year later, but never lived with anyone. They wanted their independence. Again what works for some doesn't work for others. It's no one's business but their own. They're adults. Until you've walked a mile in their shoes, don't judge. And losing your spouse isn't the same as them losing their spouse. We're all different. Every marriage is different. What happens behind closed doors, no one knows and it's no one's business.
But that is you and how you feel. Everyone doesn't think or feel like you.
I know several people who have lost their spouse. Most of the men started dating or found some form of companionship within a few months. Most of the women dated a few year later, but never lived with anyone. They wanted their independence. Again what works for some doesn't work for others. It's no one's business but their own. They're adults. Until you've walked a mile in their shoes, don't judge. And losing your spouse isn't the same as them losing their spouse. We're all different. Every marriage is different. What happens behind closed doors, no one knows and it's no one's business.
Absolutely.
However, when one has children they are making decisions that affect the group, not just themselves.
When you open the closed doors for everyone to experience is when the trouble starts.
IMHO, of course.
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I feel sorry for the children for the father to date so quickly. They are still mourning their mother and the father has his mind on a lady?
That's just BS and cruel IMO! His wife is gone, but I have NO respect for a man who would do that to his kids. They need ALL of his attention at this point when they've just lost their mother. Those poor kids.
Let it go! He is single, and he can date whomever he wants, under whatever circumstances he wants. None of your business. If his kids want to be angry, that's their business, not yours.
Those poor children are sad and most likely angry at losing their mother, now they will feel like they've also lost some of their father's love and have definitely lost his full attention (which they NEED RIGHT NOW).
I think he's an A-hole for doing that to them. They need time to adjust and he hasn't given that courtesy to them.
But that is you and how you feel. Everyone doesn't think or feel like you.
I know several people who have lost their spouse. Most of the men started dating or found some form of companionship within a few months. Most of the women dated a few year later, but never lived with anyone. They wanted their independence. Again what works for some doesn't work for others. It's no one's business but their own. They're adults. Until you've walked a mile in their shoes, don't judge. And losing your spouse isn't the same as them losing their spouse. We're all different. Every marriage is different. What happens behind closed doors, no one knows and it's no one's business.
Did you read what the OP posted? The underage daughters of the cousin are upset over this, they just lost their mother.
It becomes your business when it's thrust in your face with your relative showing up with this woman with no advance warning and staying in your house. So much for behind closed doors.
The one daughter is now calling the OP upset, but the OP is do what say "well sweetie your mom is dead you need to move on, I can't help you, it's not my concern"...click.
He say he has "needs", than go pick up someone at a bar, use a rubber, and have a one night stand. Needs taken care of. No one needs to know about it.
Everyone situation is different, in this case when you have minor children to think about and you're upsetting them even more(isn't losing their mother unexpectedly enough), you're a selfish jerk who thinks with the wrong head.
However, when one has children they are making decisions that affect the group, not just themselves.
When you open the closed doors for everyone to experience is when the trouble starts.
IMHO, of course.
And what if the children are like my husband's sisters? Their father waited 4 years to get married. His wife was in a nursing home for about a decade before she died. The children were all adults. They FREAKED out when he got married. They were all FURIOUS. So was he supposed to wait until they were ok with it? Oh and he died less than 2 years later!
I realize the children the OP is speak of are teens, but you know what? They may never be over losing their mother. They don't know what was going on in their parent's lives or marriage. He is an adult. As long as his children are provided for - food, shelter, clothing, that type of thing - then too bad. Maybe he's looking for a new mother figure for them. Maybe he had an open marriage. Maybe he HATES being alone. Maybe he just wants to move on with his life. That's HIS choice. His kids will be adults in a few years and be gone. What's he supposed to do? Wait for them to leave? Then he can have a life? That's not how it works in the real world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin
Did you read what the OP posted? The underage daughters of the cousin are upset over this, they just lost their mother.
It becomes your business when it's thrust in your face with your relative showing up with this woman with no advance warning and staying in your house. So much for behind closed doors.
The one daughter is now calling the OP upset, but the OP is do what say "well sweetie your mom is dead you need to move on, I can't help you, it's not my concern"...click.
He say he has "needs", than go pick up someone at a bar, use a rubber, and have a one night stand. Needs taken care of. No one needs to know about it.
Everyone situation is different, in this case when you have minor children to think about and you're upsetting them even more(isn't losing their mother unexpectedly enough), you're a selfish jerk who thinks with the wrong head.
BTW this woman is married.
I was NOT responding to the OP!
No this is none of the OP's business. These are not her children. If he wants to date 40 women, he can. He's an adult. He is allowed to grieve in his own way. He's allowed to move on with his life in his own way.
So what she's married? She could be separated. None of us knows what's going on in their relationship. And it's NONE of our business.
And what if the children are like my husband's sisters? Their father waited 4 years to get married. His wife was in a nursing home for about a decade before she died. The children were all adults. They FREAKED out when he got married. They were all FURIOUS. So was he supposed to wait until they were ok with it? Oh and he died less than 2 years later!
I realize the children the OP is speak of are teens, but you know what? They may never be over losing their mother. They don't know what was going on in their parent's lives or marriage. He is an adult. As long as his children are provided for - food, shelter, clothing, that type of thing - then too bad. Maybe he's looking for a new mother figure for them. Maybe he had an open marriage. Maybe he HATES being alone. Maybe he just wants to move on with his life. That's HIS choice. His kids will be adults in a few years and be gone. What's he supposed to do? Wait for them to leave? Then he can have a life? That's not how it works in the real world.
But in an earlier post, you said he needed to worry about himself, and his kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts
He is an adult and doesn't need to worry about anyone except for himself and his kids. He needs to have empathy for others? Seriously? He's the one who lost his wife and mother of his children!
He also doesn't ow anyone an explanation. He's an adult!
But now you're saying he shouldn't care how his kids feel because they'll be gone in a few years. So should he care about his kids, or not? And this is not meant as a confrontational question.
Far as the OP goes, Who he dates or sleeps with is his business. But he should avoid bringing the woman around his kids or family. Then it really stays his business, because nobody has to be bothered with the woman, other than him. Until they get married, if they get that far.
But it sounds like the issue was settled. So everyone is on the level now. The widow now knows his lady friend is not welcome around the family. The the family knows he will continue seeing the woman. So everyone 's stance is clear.
.
Last edited by HappyRain; 01-04-2016 at 12:58 AM..
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