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So to make a long story short, I went to a university where Greek Life was a pretty big deal. Being someone that transferred schools, it meant that I had a barrier in terms of rushing a fraternity. A lot of the fraternities on campus almost exclusively preferred freshman and sophomores, on top of that the dues were very expensive as well and I could barely afford to pay for college.
I graduated college recently and I did not get a chance to do things that involved going to parties with a close group of friends, getting wasted, and occasionally hooking up with an attractive girl at the party. It's like I regret going to college and getting a good GPA but the thing is, I never really had much of a chance for that kind of life in college because the fraternities had a monopoly over it at my university.
I did make friends, have a social life, and enjoy some of that stuff but my friends were not into that stuff. A lot of them were religious and plenty of them were against things like partying and drinking.
The thing is, I don't ever plan on getting married or starting a family for personal reasons.
Every day passes by and I get torn up a little bit on the inside, wondering if I missed my chance for good in college by not rushing a fraternity.
In order to live the kind of life I want to live, I would need to have friends that love drinking, partying, and access to parties that are loaded with attractive girls.
Did I pretty much miss my chance for all of that by not doing it in college?
I think you watched Animal House one too many times. I know at my school there were frat parties but honestly, they weren't nearly as common as the movies depict. And you're out of college, time to grow up anyway.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Being in TAMU's Corps of Cadets, I use to marvel what it would be like to be at school with a 24 hour schedule to do things instead of being in the Corps where you got up at a certain time, did formations, call to quarters to study, etc..
Years later when I was back in school and could do that, I found out it was rather the pits. In fact, years after that realization, when I was doing thesis, I insisted on scheduled meetings with my prof, took classes that weren't required because it put things, life, into some kind of order.
The thing is, in college, there are many styles of life and we might often look at another style and dream about, what if.......especially if our style is rather rough.
Like the saying goes, "Youth is wasted on the young", so is the adventure of the first undergrad, regardless how one approaches it. Generally, though, we only have one approach at it. If in anything else, you now know too much about life to go that route.
The frat life is gone. You can't go back to that. If you stay in a college town area, you can be the "cool graduate working guy in his mid-to-late 20s" that some college girls still like. You can meet them, but it's harder than it would have been while you were in school. The hard part is not so much finding the girls which are at any college type bar/club hangout. Rather, the trouble is finding guy friends who you can go out with. You'll find that your peers will marry off and reproduce quicker than you expect, making your bro circle pretty thin - and you need friends to be attractive to young women.
Once you get past 27-28, those days are over. I dated college girls until I was 31. You can pull it off by dressing fashionably but casual in your off time, keeping up with whatever bands are popular in the campus circuit (VERY important to have a sizable list of bands and a few songs/albums to rattle off), keeping in excellent shape and if you have your hair. But once you're past 28, the type of college girls you'll attract are the ones with daddy issues or some other hangup that are best not to get involved with. If you lose your hair, God help you. You can try to pull the Tim McGraw look or wear some other kind of fashionable hat if you can... but they will find out.
I know guys pushing 40 or over it who still date women as young as 22-25 who are seniors in college or young graduates...but it's not worth it and more indicative of their problems than anything else.
Again, the frat life is gone and impossible to get back. As others said, that is a charmed life for the rich guys anyway that you probably wouldn't have had if you tried.
I graduated college recently and I did not get a chance to do things that involved going to parties with a close group of friends, getting wasted, and occasionally hooking up with an attractive girl at the party.
Ahem.. If all you really want to do is to bed hot girls, then there are plenty of other ways to do that outside of going to college. lol.
My old co-worker moved to live in our city and within a few months, he already got himself a gang of friends. For someone who just moved, he got himself A LOT of friends. And, they're cool friends. I've hang out with him and his friends a few times. The thing with him is he's social. He likes going out. Ask him to go out for a drink and he won't turn it down. Ask him for a trip at a cottage, he'll even plan it. He has a lot of friends because he always accepts invitations and even organize his own events. It also doesn't hurt that he is genuine when it comes to friendship and a really great guy overall.
I haven't read through the thread - but one of the things in life I was most mistaken about was that the fun times would end after college. I am 33 and still party hard on the weekends, go out with my friends all the time, and have many events through the year where a huge group of us gets away.
A lot can do with where you move - I moved to NYc after college, and now split my time between nyc and miami beach, so that certainly helps. It likely would have been different if I moved to suburbia USA after college.
I haven't read through the thread - but one of the things in life I was most mistaken about was that the fun times would end after college. I am 33 and still party hard on the weekends, go out with my friends all the time, and have many events through the year where a huge group of us gets away.
A lot can do with where you move - I moved to NYc after college, and now split my time between nyc and miami beach, so that certainly helps. It likely would have been different if I moved to suburbia USA after college.
I agree with this statement above. Early in my 20s I lived with my parents for a year and had a low paying job. That was a boring year, my other friends were also dispersed in the burbs. I moved to the "city" (a mid-sized one in my region) and it was easy to get to stuff. Now over a decade later way more of my friends live in my city, and I have expanded my friend circles in my 30s and my social calendar is too full! I turn stuff down often, but if I had the energy there would be stuff to do 5 days a week no problem. I stick to about 3 days a week of socializing.
Life is what you make of it, get involved, join social clubs, take classes, go to museums. Get out there and the fun will find you!
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