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Did this "friend" you keep posting about say this? That's what people are assuming, but you haven't specified.
I hope you'll answer this question when you see it because it affects my thoughts on this. There are other reasons why someone would say this other than to get someone else to leave them alone.
I JUST this in a text message with a cousin that I've been trying to reconnect with for a while. It's an easy excuse, and not a proud or noble one at all. However, it can be overwhelming sometimes to meet up with people, especially when you haven't seen them for a long time, or when you are feeling dumpy about your own life and are dealing with issues of shame, guilt, etc. I think most people know what it means though and accept it for what it is, as in it's sort of a way to say, that's okay, we can wait a few more weeks or months and see how it goes and hopefully everything will be right in both our lives? Except lives are never perfect and if we waited around to only hang out with people when everything in our lives were perfect we'd live a life of pure solitude. Sometimes some people just prefer solitude and get overwhelmed by other people. It's hard. Life is really hard sometimes.. We live in an age of major forced socialization and now those of us who weren't properly socialized as kids are dealing with the age of social media in chary ways. I used to use to the internet TO HIDE FROM PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. But now they are all here! :/
I JUST this in a text message with a cousin that I've been trying to reconnect with for a while. It's an easy excuse, and not a proud or noble one at all. However, it can be overwhelming sometimes to meet up with people, especially when you haven't seen them for a long time, or when you are feeling dumpy about your own life and are dealing with issues of shame, guilt, etc. I think most people know what it means though and accept it for what it is, as in it's sort of a way to say, that's okay, we can wait a few more weeks or months and see how it goes and hopefully everything will be right in both our lives? Except lives are never perfect and if we waited around to only hang out with people when everything in our lives were perfect we'd live a life of pure solitude. Sometimes some people just prefer solitude and get overwhelmed by other people. It's hard. Life is really hard sometimes.. We live in an age of major forced socialization and now those of us who weren't properly socialized as kids are dealing with the age of social media in chary ways. I used to use to the internet TO HIDE FROM PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. But now they are all here! :/
some people are going through events they cant even think about let alone text to someone in a chirpy precise way
No one knows what someone else is going through
to judge someone poorly because they give you an sms without a Life Drama Detail is just - I mean, at the very least its a sign you've never had a Real Problem in your life
I guess I am different than some of the posters here but I once had a STUPID long distance relationship with a guy that strung me along for an EMBARRASSING 5 YEARS saying that .
Do NOT waste your time like I did . He was always going through one thing after another but WOULD tell me what they were and did NOT want me to go because he was just SURE he could work them out and we would be together..
I had my doubts about this since at the time he was in his 40's ,livingback with mom and had become and remains unemployed now at 52. So I DID date and live my life but it was hurtful that he just couldn't finally man up and say I do not think I am going to be able to handle a relationship right now . I am going to give you your space and if and when I CAN get myself together then we will .
Instead he would say he was going through XYZ and would text 100 times day , call talk and argue on and on .. Id have enough and just STOP all communications . Time would pass he would say he was almost ready repeat cycle .
He was really surprised when I found someone in Europe and moved on . I mean REALLY . He, still, after YEARS has it that we are engaged on his Facebook page when I knew him BEFORE Facebook . In reality we spent maybe a month together total .
One of these days I'll get around to forgiving myself for being so stupid but I am not there yet .
Sometimes what they are going through, is not wanting anything to do with you.
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Yes, I have said that before when I wasn't close to the person and was just overwhelmed with their attention. Usually I say, I'm going through some personal stuff and need some space/time off/etc...
Although it's usually in a work relationship for me.
- death of someone
-death of a pet
-stress
It's always to someone I am not really close with. So, if someone is telling you that. They want you to back away.
I've told guys who wouldn't take no for an answer that "I'm not in the right place for a relationship" or "I'm going through a lot right now and I don't want to date at the moment" when it wasn't actually true.
Lesson: anyone who is really interested in you WILL make time for you.
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