Should I be worried or mad about my friend? (toxic, husband, person)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She's high. She's high when she makes plans, she's high when she doesn't remember them, she's high when she texts you at 1am with the classic "I love you man!" high person vernacular.
Apparently so. I really don't think I have a lot of room for this in my life. Because you know, I have so many better things to do, like sit around with ice on my heel and type out soliloquies on C-D.
Actually, I do normally have a life outside of C-D (when I'm not nursing what seems to be becoming a long term foot issue), and healthy, balanced, happy people without addictions and bizarre behaviors live in that world. I am going to focus more of my energy on more of those people.
A few of them are from south Louisiana so I wouldn't really classify their behaviors and mind sets as NORMAL but at least they're not on drugs and texting me in the middle of the night.
Now she just called me. I let it go to voice mail. This makes at least five contacts from her in the past 24 hours, most of which involved pictures of people I have never met, and crazy texts brimming with pseudo affection, and nothing of any importance - certainly nothing worth texting me at 1 am over. We are not college students.
Tomorrow my husband will be coming home for several weeks. The strange thing is, that she cannot seem to remember any of our plans, but she has an uncanny ability to literally call me nearly EVERY TIME just as I am picking him up from the airport - I mean, within three minutes of him getting in the vehicle. Now - I have never told her what time I go pick him up. Nor have I even told her very often what DAY he's coming home, but it's like she has a sixth sense or something. "Kathryn's doing something that doesn't involve thinking about me, so I need to get right in the middle of that."
Curiouser and curiouser is the phrase that comes to my mind. I have got to talk with her but you know what - I don't have to talk with her for the next few days, and I'm not going to.
Good lord, now she sent me an email (she's hitting on all cylinders - phone calls, texts, emails and Facebook), with a picture of a random bedroom and the exclamation "I WANT THIS BEDROOM."
What is wrong with her? If she's having so much fun in Dallas, why is she fixated on me? STOP THE MADNESS!!!!
I am going to tell her exactly what I am feeling and what my application to our situation is going to be, but I am not going to be forced by her incessant attempts at contacting me to say any of it before I'm ready. And I'm not ready yet.
Apparently so. I really don't think I have a lot of room for this in my life. Because you know, I have so many better things to do, like sit around with ice on my heel and type out soliloquies on C-D.
Actually, I do normally have a life outside of C-D (when I'm not nursing what seems to be becoming a long term foot issue), and healthy, balanced, happy people without addictions and bizarre behaviors live in that world. I am going to focus more of my energy on more of those people.
A few of them are from south Louisiana so I wouldn't really classify their behaviors and mind sets as NORMAL but at least they're not on drugs and texting me in the middle of the night.
Nobody has room for that in their life.
Nor any of the other gazillion things that can befall people and make them less than optimal to hang out with.
Nor any of the other gazillion things that can befall people and make them less than optimal to hang out with.
"Optimal" is not a requirement for the friends in my life. I have had hard times before, and so have my friends. It's a give and take and an ebb and flow in most long term friendships, and that's fine with me. In fact, I am all about that "girl power," and empowering each other, and pouring love and generosity and lots of listening into relationships.
I do, however, require mutual respect. I'm not seeing anything even closely resembling that at this point. And I'm including myself in that, because I'm so put out with her that I am not feeling much respect for her either at this point.
Of course, it's hard to feel a lot of respect for someone when they're texting you "drunk shots" at one am.
She's high. She's high when she makes plans, she's high when she doesn't remember them, she's high when she texts you at 1am with the classic "I love you man!" high person vernacular.
This. Classic 'user speak'. There is no "respectful" friendship if one of the friends is stoned. If she mixing opiates with anxiety meds and doctor shopping to get scrips.... she's not going to be capable of normal behavior.
To go back to the original question.... I'd be worried and sad for my friend. Not mad. Being mad at an addict (if that's what she is) may be the impetus to cut off the friendship.... but it does nothing to help the friend. If she gets cut off from one friend.... she'll find new friends. Judging by the texts...she already has.
This. There is no "respectful" friendship if one of the friends is stoned. If she mixing opiates with anxiety meds and doctor shopping to get scrips.... she's not going to be capable of normal behavior.
To go back to the original question.... I'd be worried and sad for my friend. Not mad. Being mad at an addict (if that's what she is) may be the impetus to cut off the friendship.... but it does nothing to help the friend. If she gets cut off from one friend.... she'll find new ones. Judging by the messages...she already has.
I certainly hope so. I've already received a text, an email, and at least one phone call from her just this morning. I wish she would focus some attention on someone else.
"Optimal" is not a requirement for the friends in my life. I have had hard times before, and so have my friends. It's a give and take and an ebb and flow in most long term friendships, and that's fine with me. In fact, I am all about that "girl power," and empowering each other, and pouring love and generosity and lots of listening into relationships.
I do, however, require mutual respect. I'm not seeing anything even closely resembling that at this point. And I'm including myself in that, because I'm so put out with her that I am not feeling much respect for her either at this point.
Of course, it's hard to feel a lot of respect for someone when they're texting you "drunk shots" at one am.
Here's the sticky part with addiction as I see it.
Because addicted people appear to be having fun, their non addicted friends and family have a really hard time mustering up any compassion. Because addiction appears to be a self inflicted illness, their non addicted friends and family have a really hard time mustering up any compassion. Because addiction causes people to do silly, rude, annoying, unrespectable, even heinous things that are out of character, their non addicted friends and family have a really hard time mustering up any compassion. Because addicted people are terrified of losing their minds and their addiction simultaneously, they refuse help, and their non addicted friends and family have a really hard time mustering up any compassion.
Regardless, addicted people are sick and miserable and suffering, and need their friends and family.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.