Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.. and no I am NOT kidding .
Some of you know I recently moved out of a rising rent ghetto situation and into a way better apt for $500 less in the Seattle area . Money IS an issue that this greatly helps . LOVE the apt and was suggested by a member of CD .
Issue is this : I am 53, husband is 51 one teen left at home who is 15 .
We are all assigned one covered parking space then you can rent a garage also for $100 if you want.
Lady can BARELY walk , cannot hear ( I had to write our names on a piece of paper for her to understand ), in NO WAY should she be behind the wheel of a 1977 Cutlass Supreme station wagon. That is none of my business and would NEVER say that .
Problem is she wants me to give up my covered parking to her for $30 a month . Says she had that arrangement with the previous tenants . This is so she doesn't get wet hauling her medical equipment out to the cutlass to be able to drive it . She came to the door to discuss this as we were actively unloading the truck
I was raised to respect my elders to the max . I have a very expensive little car that is a convertible that in Seattle if left out for weeks at a time will get soaked . I really cannot afford this but don't want to cause problems and do not know what to say ... Her daughter has their covered space AND a garage that has her stuff in it . Daughter wont let her park it in there so she wants mine .
I've not been faced with a severely disabled 95 yr old insisting on my parking space that I really need . I would have NO PROBLEM if this were a younger person telling them the way it is .
A friend of mine say some older people use their age to get their way and to ignore it . I really don't know what to think. I pulled up tonight waiting on my daughter and husband and she stared a hole in my car the entire time I was waiting .
Seriously- eventually my car will be ruined . It's gotta have time to dry out .
What would you do ?
I would simply say "NO". You need not explain anything to her, just say NO. And stop looking for approval for the way you feel about this, there will always be some people who are contrary, and indifferent to what you want...so if people here tell you yes, give it to her, your going to do so?
Doesn't make them right and you wrong, it is how we were raised to believe and be....
Elderly people find change alarming threatening and life ruining
OP could be kind. People could be kind for someone who deserves a medal just for surviving so long.
But no, it seems Kind is off the menu in favor of RIGHT.
For starter's, it has never been "her" space. She SAYS she had some sort of agreement with the former tenent (and I haven't read the whole thread so I may have missed whether or not that's been verified). This may or may not be true.
What is true is that she has another very valid option available to her - and that is "use her own space to park her own car."
What else is true is that it's the OPs space, that the OP pays for, and the OP needs it for her own car.
As for the 95 year old being able to drive, I don't know whether she is or not, but I do know this -I know that some states are retesting people over a certain age (and definitely over 95) because the elderly lose so much in the way of reflexes, peripheral vision, night vision, etc that they do need to be retested. If she's been retested and passed and her doctor thinks she is able to drive, I guess she can. But my grandfather, at age 87, insisted on driving even after his wife was so alarmed that she refused to ride with him. So one day she was behind him in her car and watched in horror as he pulled out in front of another vehicle and the 20 something year old driver of that vehicle was killed and my grandfather injured.
Guess what - he didn't get to drive any more, but neither did that 20 something year old kid.
I don't recommend that the OP be unkind. I recommend that the OP try to befriend the elderly woman's daughter and get a fuller picture of the situation first and foremost. There may be ways the OP can help her elderly neighbor and if so, she should. But I don't think she's required to give up her parking space in order to be kind.
If she has a driving licence she's entitled to drive
All these folks who would willingly take something from a very old lady just because they have the Right to.
I hope y'all dont get old and vulnerable one day and have someone coming taking YOUR parking space too....but it would be Karma.
Already there and I don't ask for things that are not rightfully mine so what is YOUR POINT about a parking space that never did belong to the 95 year old woman?
why not?
Living to 95 is so rare they should automatically get covered parking imo....!
Oh and btw 95 IS disabled. Your skin is thin, your bones are fragile, your hearing fading and your eyesight is not so good.
Why should she get anything special just because she is 95? That is hooey, there are children who are born moree fragile than this woman.
If you think she deserves a covered spot why don't you go and talk to her daughter and convince her daughter to consider the needs of her own Mother and move her car and her crap so her Mother can use the garage?
OP, I sure do understand your stress though. It's very unnerving when you move into a new place and the very first thing that hits you is an unpleasant interaction with your new neighbor.
In our former home, even before we moved in but after we were under contract, we found out that our next door neighbor had approached the owner just a few days before closing and asked if he would allow them to cut down a big, beautiful oak tree that was "on the property line" because the neighbor was going to build a pool and didn't want the shade or the leaves.
Thankfully the owner told him that the house was under contract and he'd have to ask us. So - he didn't come over himself, he sent his pool builder over while we were moving in. The guy said, "We're gonna need for you to cut down the oak tree that's on the property line - it's going to interfere with the pool my customer is building."
We were shocked but we went outside to look at the situation - I mean, we didn't want trouble with our neighbor right off the bat. The tree was 15 feet off the property line on our side. It was also one of the reasons we had fallen in love with the house to begin with. My husband said, "Tell your customer we're not going to cut it down but I'll be happy to discuss this with HIM if he would like." Legally the guy could cut limbs that were hanging over his property and we just wanted to coordinate with him on that if that was the case.
It took about a year for the glares to subside, but eventually our neighbor actually came over and said, "I wanted to give you an update - we're glad the tree is still there, because we had no idea how much we'd appreciate the filtered shade at that one end of the pool, and the nice little shaded seating area. It hasn't been a problem. Just wanted to clear that up."
But we still hated that awkward feeling starting the very minute we were moving in. Blech - why????? Why????? Why do people try to just bulldoze over other people? We WANTED to have a good relationship with our neighbors - but apparently that isn't important to everyone - including the elderly woman in question with the OP.
Good points about the elderly not being able to drive as well as younger people. This is extremely true.
I myself am in my 40's, and hate driving - even though I can. As I get older (maybe after I retire), my goal is to move to a city where I won't need a car to get around - but will be able to fully rely on public transportation; if I can do this, I plan on getting rid of my car. Then, once I can't drive any longer (assuming I live that long - LOL), it won't be an issue since I won't be driving anyway.
and honestly how much longer can she expect to drive? Hardly another 6 months.
You could either have your parking for 6 months, and feel like a cow, and upset her out of all proportion and make her old life Hell, or you could take the Nice track and let her have the parking for as long as shes able to drive. Which could possibly only be another few months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee
why not?
Living to 95 is so rare they should automatically get covered parking imo....!
Oh and btw 95 IS disabled. Your skin is thin, your bones are fragile, your hearing fading and your eyesight is not so good.
Even if any of that were true, it's not the OP's responsibility to provide this woman with a parking space. That's up to the manager of the apartments.
Then if there are orthopedic problems and hearing and vision problems a 95 year old (or at least one with these problems, but you said that 95 would be accompanied by these disabilities) shouldn't be driving. It can't be both ways. I don't think a 95 year old should be denied her own covered parking space just because she's 95 when it comes with the apartment. It would be discrimination to tell her, "Oh, you are so old, you won't be going out much anyway. You don't need/get your own space." But there is no need to give her special privileges. She already had a very special privilege: living 95 years on this planet and being in good enough health to live in her own place with her daughter and to drive. Doesn't get much better than that!
And---no one has addressed that OP is in her 50's (pretty sure I read that). So---if you can say that every 95 year old has pretty significant problems, then you must also say that some 50-somethings also have problems. So why didn't the 95 year old make this request of someone 30 years younger? Doesn't being in your 50's earn you, if not "special privileges" the right to retain the covered space feature that comes with each apartment? See what a slippery slope this can be?
That'genetics, not a priviledge. The OP wants to keep her space, end of story. Anything else is speculation
No I have no idea what is true with her .. I feel like going to management first politely . I have literally only been here for 2 days . Daughter felt that she wasn't all there mentally lots of repetition etc stuff . IF she drives she shouldnt be . I just asked daughter what her thoughts were on her general state . OBVIOUSLY not ok physically and "about 80% there mentally"
You asked her daughter?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
