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That's just silly. The non specific invite is probably the last on a list of why she may not have replied, and more likely not even on the list. Can you imagine someone not replying to an invite because "you didn't tell me when and where"? Seriously.
OP, you did nothing wrong aside from the fact that you didn't follow up. Do it and see what happens.
It's very silly. Who contacts someone about THEIR BIRTHDAY and than gives specifics? You don't dictate to them what day and time and what restaurant. It's their birthday.
As you said the OP should have followed up, considering they work together that's very easy to do.
It's very silly. Who contacts someone about THEIR BIRTHDAY and than gives specifics? You don't dictate to them what day and time and what restaurant. It's their birthday.
As you said the OP should have followed up, considering they work together that's very easy to do.
I think you need to read up on what constitutes an invitation. One was never offered by the OP:
a written or verbal request inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something.
"a wedding invitation"
synonyms: request to attend, call, summons; More
offer;
card, note;
informalinvite
"an invitation to dinner"
the action of inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something.
"a club with membership by invitation only"
a situation or action that tempts someone to do something or makes a particular outcome likely.
"tactics like those of the colonel would have been an invitation to disaster"
synonyms: encouragement, provocation, temptation, lure, magnet, bait, enticement, attraction, allure; informalcome-on
"an open door is an invitation to a thief"
Origin
late Middle English: from French, or from Latin invitatio(n-), from invitare (see invite).
Translate invitation to
Use over time for: invitation
Since it was to celebrate a birthday, of course the date, time and location should be left up to the invitee.
But the OP never got that far, she suggested doing "something" "whenever" the other girl was free. She left it wide open.
a written or verbal request inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something.
"a wedding invitation"
synonyms: request to attend, call, summons; More
offer;
card, note;
informalinvite
"an invitation to dinner"
the action of inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something.
"a club with membership by invitation only"
a situation or action that tempts someone to do something or makes a particular outcome likely.
"tactics like those of the colonel would have been an invitation to disaster"
synonyms: encouragement, provocation, temptation, lure, magnet, bait, enticement, attraction, allure; informalcome-on
"an open door is an invitation to a thief"
Origin
late Middle English: from French, or from Latin invitatio(n-), from invitare (see invite).
Translate invitation to
Use over time for: invitation
Since it was to celebrate a birthday, of course the date, time and location should be left up to the invitee.
But the OP never got that far, she suggested doing "something" "whenever" the other girl was free. She left it wide open.
Where in that post did I say invite or invitation? I didn't.
This is what the OP said to her friend "Your birthday is coming up, let's do something fun to celebrate this week, or whenever you're free!"
That let's the friend since it is their birthday decide when, where, and how they want to celebrate.
Perhaps the OP could have thrown out " I would like to take you for dinner, you pick the restaurant and the date and time", but she didn't.
I think the friend didn't see the text. I think that because the friend later texted the OP about something and didn't mention it. Obviously, the friend didn't see it. It happens.
If it were me, I'd call her and ask her if she got my text. If not, tell her I sent it, so she'll know I invited her. If she did, ask her if she just didn't feel like doing anything, or what. No big deal. This happens with me sometimes. I just ask, or they just ask me.
Since it was to celebrate a birthday, of course the date, time and location should be left up to the invitee.
.
Excuse me? The person extending the invitation always is in charge of the logistics. Ideally, they are taking into account the invitee's likes, preferences, availability...but the person asking is always responsible.
Now, if the invitee cannot meet the date or has the other suggestions, the invitor should look at other dates and times to accommodate, but is under no obligation to do so.
Excuse me? The person extending the invitation always is in charge of the logistics. Ideally, they are taking into account the invitee's likes, preferences, availability...but the person asking is always responsible.
Now, if the invitee cannot meet the date or has the other suggestions, the invitor should look at other dates and times to accommodate, but is under no obligation to do so.
Whatever. We pretty much said the same thing. It doesn't do any good to say " I'm going to take you to dinner on such and such a date and we'll be having Mexican food" if the honoree isn't available and doesn't care for the restaurant. But yes, the invite issuer should specify a date( or a couple of options), and suggest some restaurants within a reasonable driving distance as well as her budget.
And perhaps she has done so. She hasn't come back to the thread.
Personally, I prefer a text invite to a phone call or a face-to-face. A text is no different than a written invitation, just a lot more expedient for the parties involved. And it gives me a chance to decide whether to say yes or not, without being put on the spot.
OK, see, here's the problem: Why is accepting or declining an invitation "being put on the spot"? Honestly, how self-absorbed is that, that you feel soooo much in demand that a refusal from you to attend a gathering is going to devastate someone to the point where you are AFRAID of telling someone "yes, I'd love to," or "I'm sorry, no, I can't make it, I've already got other plans that night" because they might start arguing with you and begging you to come? And you don't have the cajones to say "No" with charm and dignity.
Really? And while you're "thinking" about it, the other person is wondering, "Gee, I wonder if they got my text message . . . they aren't answering . . . ." and we're right back where we started.
If you don't have a calendar in front of you, you can always say, "Let me check my calendar and get back to. you." Learn the art of saying "No," with a smile, even on a phone.
I don't have the antipathy towards text messages that some people do -- according to my phone bill, I'm probably a power user :-) -- but I do think there is far too much reliance on text messages as a means of communication when sometimes, the simplest method of all is just -- talking:
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