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Old 02-15-2016, 01:44 PM
 
525 posts, read 655,336 times
Reputation: 1616

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Moved into this very nice neighborhood in September of last year. I've met a couple of my neighbors, no major issues.

But something is bugging the HECK out of me. And I need to know if I'm being the "get off my lawn" neighbor, or is my issue legitimate?

House we bought was the worst on the lot, and we are fixing it up. Interior was (mostly) done prior to moving in, now that it's winter and everything is essentially dormant, we are doing exterior hardscaping and deferred maintenance exterior type stuff, but a few things are in stasis until we do a major remodel with an addition to be built and new roof, ... blah blah. House was a rental before we moved in, house right next door, no one ever seems to be home; at least I never see them. I have no idea if this bugs them or not.

Anyway, one of our neighbors (met her a couple of weeks ago) has a kid who likes to play soccer in the front lawn of their house. He's maybe 14? Our front yards are not fenced here, just the back. These lots are about 1/4 acre average, though a few are 1/2. The house this kid lives at is 2 houses away. Needless to say, kid cannot keep the ball in his lawn. He kicks the ball up and down everyones' lawn, and ITS BUGGING THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

Part of me is "great, kid getting some exercise, not on the TV or gaming". Rest of me is pissed he's kicking a ball and running across the area I just had a french drain buried (next to my driveway) and walking right across my huge front windows and looking in and I prefer to keep the curtains open. I'm sick of sitting in my den and looking up to see this kid 10 feet from where I'm sitting. I just had a raised garden installed in front of my house and I'm concerned he's going to damage the wall before I can get the dirt filled in, or even after. And if he kicks that ball into my original 1950s casement windows I'm going to be very upset.

Ok, while I was sitting here typing this I heard the ball hit the side of my house, and then it landed in my raised bed. So I went out, and as nicely as I could said "I need you to try and keep the ball in your lawn." He said "Yes ma'am". And now I feel like a total grump.

Am I being an old fart? Unreasonable?
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Old 02-15-2016, 02:11 PM
 
388 posts, read 469,485 times
Reputation: 1000
I think you are being reasonable. The kid is bored and curious. Probably not a bad kid.

I would have a sit down talk with him about personal space, boundaries, and damage. I'd try to talk how his space is important, etc.

I would ask the kid if he would let me hire him with some of the yard work when the weather got better and construction was done. If he puts labor into your yard, hopefully he won't wreck it.

If that didn't work, I'd talk with the parents. I'd bring something tasty to ask when we could talk. I'd bring something tasty for the meeting. I'd make it clear the kid is not in trouble, I would ask for help in maintaining my privacy. I would also be worried about injuries when construction happens.

On random occasions, I would bring the kid a treat when he was playing in his own yard. A "thanks for respecting my space" treat. Find out what soda he likes.

If then he gets aggressive about screwing around in your yard and looking in your windows, something is very wrong. I'd get advice from someone who knows about kids and teens.

Good luck!
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Old 02-15-2016, 02:28 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,730,900 times
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I wouldn't bring him a treat because then he'll feel like you like him and you're inviting him to play in your yard.

If your windows are original to the 1950's, then he's never broken them in the time before you moved in. I also doubt he could kick the ball hard enough to damage the wall for the raised garden. Still, it's your yard and if you want him to stay out of it, that's your right.

If he's just standing and staring into your windows, that's different than running past kicking his ball. I would talk to his parents about standing and staring into the windows. I wouldn't talk to them about him playing in the yard. (No one tries to play in my yard because I've got it all planted with cactus )
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Old 02-15-2016, 02:31 PM
 
714 posts, read 741,982 times
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I'd say you already did the trick. If you feel bad about it, go down and lightly apologize to him + parents and explain you didn't mean to come off as grumpy or anything, but [this] and [that] are important to you so you'd like it if there weren't balls flying/rolling in that area.

When I was a kid that kind of stuff happened. What a kid sees as valuable/fragile is totally different than what an adult would interpret.

Just don't be mean about it. Then he will mess with you. When I was about his age I was at a 4th fireworks show with my family. Ran into a buddy there and he had firecrackers (not legal). He said let's go light these off in that yard. I said nah that doesn't sound like a good idea. He said they're cool with it. Buddy lights firecrackers as he sets them down on the grass, and as I'm looking at them ready to go off, some adult man was sprinting across the yard at us yelling "YOU BETTER NOT GET US IN TROUBLE AGAIN, YOU LITTLE S***!!" Apparently buddy lit some off a house or two down and those people freaked out, so he was going back to mess with them for the reaction (kids know you can't beat them up).
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Old 02-15-2016, 02:34 PM
 
525 posts, read 655,336 times
Reputation: 1616
Yeah, I don't see me making friends with the kid. I had a teenage boy, and I think we only survived each other because he was mine and I was his mother. I'm not child-friendly. Which is why I'm worried about being grumpy neighbor.

I'm pretty private, but I like knowing my neighbors to the point of knowing what is "normal", and what is a security concern. I'm good with a chat in the street, but I don't feel the need to get all friendly.

He's just a kid, and he's not being anything other than active. I just wish he'd do it in the park down the street or in his backyard.

If I was more alert and feeling less irritated, I would've had a better conversation with him. I'll go over and make peace in a bit.
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Old 02-15-2016, 02:38 PM
 
1,945 posts, read 7,344,237 times
Reputation: 1396
No, you are not being unreasonable. Hopefully the kid will abide by your request and it will all be a moot point. I understand your hesitation about saying something being new to the neighborhood and all.

And...1950's casement windows??!! I love them . Enjoy your new place.

Oh, and I don't get the apologize part. You didn't do anything wrong, you just nicely asked the kid to change his behavior. What I wouldn't do is have an extensive convo with a child at all. A brief sentence is more than enough.
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Old 02-15-2016, 02:40 PM
 
525 posts, read 655,336 times
Reputation: 1616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post

If he's just standing and staring into your windows, that's different than running past kicking his ball. I would talk to his parents about standing and staring into the windows.
He doesn't stare. I was lying on my couch last week when he kicked the ball into our yard (again) and the movement caught my eye and I sat up startled. I bet my movement caught HIS eye and he looked over, waved, and kicked the ball back down the other way. It's just disconcerting to look up and see someone in the yard. My dog has gotten so used to it she ignores him completely.

Last edited by SolaireSolstice; 02-15-2016 at 02:42 PM.. Reason: grammer
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Old 02-15-2016, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Long Neck , DE
4,903 posts, read 4,185,366 times
Reputation: 8095
Quote:
Originally Posted by profnot View Post
I think you are being reasonable. The kid is bored and curious. Probably not a bad kid.

I would have a sit down talk with him about personal space, boundaries, and damage. I'd try to talk how his space is important, etc.

I would ask the kid if he would let me hire him with some of the yard work when the weather got better and construction was done. If he puts labor into your yard, hopefully he won't wreck it.

If that didn't work, I'd talk with the parents. I'd bring something tasty to ask when we could talk. I'd bring something tasty for the meeting. I'd make it clear the kid is not in trouble, I would ask for help in maintaining my privacy. I would also be worried about injuries when construction happens.

On random occasions, I would bring the kid a treat when he was playing in his own yard. A "thanks for respecting my space" treat. Find out what soda he likes.

If then he gets aggressive about screwing around in your yard and looking in your windows, something is very wrong. I'd get advice from someone who knows about kids and teens.

Good luck!
While your approach may be very nice unfortunately in today's world you could be accused of trying to get too friendly with the teenage boy for improper reasons.
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Old 02-15-2016, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Caverns measureless to man...
7,588 posts, read 6,577,046 times
Reputation: 17966
If he replied, "yes, ma'am," there's a good chance you got your point across without raising any hackles. Maybe he's a good kid who just wasn't thinking about the longterm consequences - you know, like, a 14 year old.

If it was the first time I'd spoken with him about it, I might have started a little differently - maybe, "Say, I just want to ask you to be careful about letting the ball hit my windows or flowers. Can you try to be careful about keeping the ball in your lawn?" Sounds like you maybe let it build up and bother you to the point where you were angry about it. Maybe starting a little further back and expressing it as a friendly, neighborly request would be as effective and better in the long run for neighborly relations.

But no, you're not being an old fart, or unreasonable. You're just being a human. Nothing over the line in how you handled it, in my opinion, and you do have the right to protect your flowers and your windows from soccer balls.
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Old 02-15-2016, 03:20 PM
 
2,163 posts, read 1,537,880 times
Reputation: 6027
You took care of it in a mature and polite manner. If the parents start snubbing you, oh well. Don't be one of those people who'd give a remote damn, it's your yard and you have a right to your boundaries.

I'd be annoyed too if I had a neighbor's kid running through my yard and absent-mindedly (or otherwise) peering in. And I'd address the situation.
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