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My gosh, this isn't tough. Next time you see her outdoors, ask her if she's feeling better. If she asks why you ask, you say lately she has been coughing a lot. She may not even know she is coughing. She may be chronically ill or it could be a habit. Approaching the subject like an adult is the only way to go.
I was flying from USA to Europe, 10 hours or so flight. I do have long legs, so I need to move them around a lot on such a long flight. A lady beside me was severely frustrated each time I would move my feet 0.5" across the imaginary line between "her" and "mine" leg space under the seats in front of me. She pushed my foot (clean socks, boots off) with her boot, gave me a hundred of "what a shame" looks, scoffed, sighted, etc. I swear I didn't go across the "border" for more than 1/2 inch.
I didn't like such greed, so I got an earphone - they give them out on every flight - tore one earbud off, chose rap in the menu, added volume, and turned the remaining earbud towards this lady. And moved my foot from "her side" permanently. She was pretty quiet for the rest of the flight.
So OP, turn on the radio, put a metal pot over it, cover it with rags, and go outside for a couple of hours or go to work. When she (or a manager) asks you what's going on, tell them that you are afraid of bacteria your neighbor spreads and you know that the newest research shows that a loud music kills bacteria more effectively than antibiotics. And see what happens.
This cracked me up.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions.
For those who seem concerned about it, making the decision for her would involve calling 911 every time she has a fit.
Someone else had an idea of asking the HOA if she's a legal tenant. Which I am sort of leaning towards because of the backstory. I live in garden style condos only 3 floors high. I live on the 3rd floor. When I moved in, there was a neighbor downstairs. He was cool, normal whatever. Then he moved his mother in about a year ago. I'm not sure if that was lawful and it's none of my business and it's his mom. But she was deaf. She'd crank the TV up as loud as it would go all night long. After a month or two, I left him a note on the door and asked if he could please remember to turn the TV down at night. That worked. A few weeks later, he approached me and told me his mother had passed away.
After the usual hustle and bustle of visitors etc at that time, he left. The apartment was empty for a couple weeks. But actually, it was not empty. He left his back porch unlocked, a patio. I came home one day to a young man ninja'ing his way from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor patio. That sort of freaked me out because then he'd let the front door open and people were coming and going. After about two weeks this stopped and the apartment was empty again. I figured the neighbor most likely moved into his mother's old home.
Then this lady moved in.
While I realize nothing can be done about her coughing on a logical level, the fact of the matter is that it is ruining the use and enjoyment of my home. And now I'm afraid to leave my back door unlocked and open when I'm not here for fresh air because of ninja boy.
Last night I woke up at about 3:00AM from her coughing and and my apartment smelled strongly of cigarettes. Cigarette smell doesn't bother me as long as I can catch a breath of fresh air in between wafts. But my whole apartment stunk of it because it was coming through the bathroom vent which is right above her bathroom vent. Also, there's a cut away in my bedroom closet for work on the shower plumbing which is just a cut out sheet rock taped back on. The smell comes through there as well, despite my best effort to tape and nail it shut.
So I went outside for fresh air and sure enough, her light was on at 3:00AM so she could smoke. 5 minutes later it was off and quiet again.
I'm getting very frustrated and I suppose you're all correct. Move. There's nothing I can do about it and it's pointless to talk about it.
Moving is a great idea, if you can swing it. Try talking to the HOA first and see if they will ask her to stop smoking in the apartment. I can't imagine that's allowed. At the very least, maybe they'll let you out of your lease for the obnoxious noise she makes.
So.... I googled this issue and the consensus seems to be that I can do nothing about it but the CD peeps sometimes have good ideas that are different.
Let me start by saying that I generally don't care what others do to themselves, smoking, obesity, etc. I don't have the energy to give a hoot. That being said.... There's a back story to the apartment below mine which makes me want to report them to the HOA but it's irrelevant. This last month, there's another female occupying the premise. She lays or sits directly below my bedroom in the same place the apparently deaf mother of a former occupant did. Most nights she keeps me awake coughing up a lung and clearing out a throat that has nothing in it. She's making the constipated-pushing-one-out noises.
To be clear, she does not do this outside or when she's walking around to and from her car etc. She reserves these grotesque noises just for inside. As well as smoking only indoors.
Today I hermitted and so did she. All. Friggen. Day. Long. It's bad enough to lose sleep and wake up all night, but now I can't even get any peace in the day. Today was rough. It was really hard not to go to Costco and buy a gallon of cough syrup and place it in front of her door with a note reading:
See a doctor or drink this gallon of syrup before I make the decision for you.
Terrible. I know. But I can't take it anymore!!!
Just in me writing this, she has had 3 attacks that sound like nothing more than her straining and forcing herself to cough for the sake of coughing.
Again, she does not smoke or cough outside that I have ever seen. Only indoors. If she did it outside, I'd hear her coughing at least twice before she got to our building.
Does anyone have any advice?
There is a wonderful invention called earplugs. Spend some money on those.
OP, is this an apartment complex? Or are these individually owned condos? FWIW, I can't imagine an HOA/COA getting involved in a tenant dispute. They typically only want to deal with the actual owner of the condo.
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