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Why? I'm talking not even a christmas/ birthday card type of deal. completely.
Would you do it in a situation of abuse? How about motivation (maybe your family doesn't support your ambitions)
I've cut ties with the majority of my relatives because of their constant need to spread baseless rumors about me. Those who believed the rumors were also cut out. The day I cut them out of my life is the day I started prospering.
It's your life. Do what you feel is necessary in order to start prospering and living a happier life.
I have not missed my stern, cold, judgmental, racist and religiously fanatical mother. She has been gone for five years. I never shed a tear.
I don't care when my father goes. He's passed 90, and he is a bitter nasty old man.
There is one sister who is just like them. She is 60. I don't care to ever see her again. She and my mother were both like two witches, attempting to ruin my life, and marriage. It didn't work.
I will miss none of them when they are gone. I already don't miss my mother. So, speak for yourself.
Yes I have
Yes it was to Escape Abuse
Yes it worked.
No I don't regret it
No I have no intentions of Mending It
The only real regret I have is that its bled through to the next generation but that's hardly my fault; blood will out it seems.
It was Survival and if you're truly abused, you don't have a CHOICE. Imho.
By "bled to the next generation", I do not think that Bonnie Jean McGee was referring to herself. Toxic people can taint the next generation in many, many ways. Here is one example.
In the case of my family, I have noticed that my sister's daughter, my niece, as she ages, increasingly exhibits the negative and verbally abusive traits of my sister.Recently, she tried this on me. Although, my sister abused her verbally, and through her out of the house well before she was ready, my niece, who recently married (a quick civil ceremony - my sister who is quite well off, could have paid for any kind of wedding) a high school drop out. She met him at work in Florida, and he offered her a room in her house.
My niece was living in a motel room, and this man was her supervisor. She depended on me for funds, as needed. My sister threw her out in the middle of college because her current live in boyfriend did not like my niece.
She married him out of homelessness and subsequent gratitude. The husband orders her around like a slave.
When I learned of her pregnancy I was less than delighted. She was a promising girl with three years of college under her belt. The last time we spoke, she screamed at me, because I did not want to set foot in her mothers house. I knew that I would be treated horribly by my sister. She castigated me for my choice. The screaming was sounding vaguely familiar.
In fact, it sounded just like my sister. I told her that I would come to Florida with my daughter, to deliver her gift, and spend the weekend, but that I could not be in my sister's house, but that I loved her, and we would celebrate a special Auntie and cousin weekend and do girly things together. At my expense.
She viciously turned on me and accused me of "ruining her shower".
My niece, who always wanted my sister's approval, but experienced nothing but rejection and humiliation at her hands, once decided that she had experienced enough.
Now she has gone back to her, and it seems that she is assuming her dreadful personality.
It has "bled to the next generation", in many ways.
My children have no relationship with their cousins. My relationship with my nephews is strained. And my niece, it seems, has become her mother.
the grandchildren were ignored by their grandparents - well, 2/3 of them were.
Then my brother ignored his daughters, both of whom are frequent suicide attempters as young adults.
Now I cant talk to my (much loved) niece because she is a direct line to my brother who is Not Talking To Me at the moment
I love her and sms her but I haven't seen her, because it is too awkward for her; the Family Dynamics are just as overwhelming for her (in a different way) as they were for me.
The Family remains Dysfunctional because these things DO carry into the next generation, despite all best attempts.
My own children, ignored by their grandmother because they are My Children... my brothers girls ignored by grandma because she didn't like their mother.
My husband cut off his two siblings. His whole family was a crazy as* bunch. I mean we all come from some amount of dysfunction, but they were kind of like The Addams Family on steroids. Lol. Some people have a 1 on the scale and some have a 10 on the scale. We both have a very low tolerance for family drama so the quieter the better. I really never get why people stay in such situations. I think they're afraid of being "alone." It's such an American Apple Pie thing, relatives, family, holidays...but the validity of it is often times a complete delusion.
One thing I've observed (from having worked in a law firm for 10 years) is that NOTHING causes feuds and estrangements more in a family than an estate. I'm talking ready to jump across the table and strangle each other...over money and a deceased relative's estate.
Don't tell me! I can already imagine what will happen when my mom dies. My mom split her will up between me and my brothers - half goes to the brother who is married with 6 kids, 1/4 goes to my other brother, and 1/4 goes to me. As my mom has already given me a lot of money and bought me a car, I told her she could just leave me out of the will, but she said, and I quote: "It's my money and I'll do what I damn well please with it."
But here's the problem. I have one brother already who thinks I'm worthless because I've applied for disability and am on food stamps. The other brother, the married one, and his wife think that I am milking my mom for all her money now, which isn't true (you go back and tell that old battleaxe what she should do with her money! LOL). My SIL, whom I have spoken to maybe three times in 30 years, wants to talk to me so she can tell me to quit leeching off my mother. And my married brother is in charge of all my mom's investments.
Can you see the s**tstorm that's coming when my mom dies?
And what's really crazy about all this is, there really isn't going to be that much money when she dies, maybe a couple thousand tops.
I got kicked out of my family when I was not quite 18. I had been raised as a Jehovah's Witness and was disfellowshipped. My dad gave me the keys to a $100 Corvair and said "see you later". Fortunately I had a good friend who let me stay with him until I got on my feet.
Here it is about 45 years later and I have had a tiny bit of communication with 2 members of the family. My oldest brother died last year, and he was the only who consistently tried to connect with me a few times over the years. My two other brothers and 2 sisters not so much. It really ticks me off that JW's make no bones about one of the main reasons to disfellowship one is to shock them into realizing how much they need their family and JW friends.
Despite all of that I have a loving wife and family (hers) who support me far more then my family ever did.
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