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I don't know that your friend was necessarily rude. I think you are probably just used to the way you do things. He does things differently. Most loveseats are for sitting, not laundry. Maybe he thought you were rude for not cleaning it off. I don't always know how to handle couch pillows. They might look good, but are uncomfortable to lean against. He sat on it so as not to toss it in the floor.
I'm kind of like you when I have people over. Sometimes they take over my personal space in ways that makes me uncomfortable. I have had someone rearrange a room because they didn't like my setup, I had a water filter on my faucet and they ran the water through the filter for non eating/drinking related activities and those things are expensive. My fil used to make a mess with the coffee maker. I've realized that I really don't like to host people at my house unless it is someone like my sister because we have lived with each other and will acknowledge that we both do things our way. Then it becomes funny.
While his actions might have been rude, you were not a very gracious host/ess. When I have someone at my house I make sure they have a comfortable place to sit. An office chair is not comfortable unless you are a college student living in a dorm. If someone asks for two creamers, give them two creamers.
Don't invite him over if you are not prepared to treat him like a guest.
OP- I think you really don't have enough room in your place to have overnight guests and you certainly aren't much of a host.
It seems like you may be living in a studio apartment or a small one bedroom. Guests should be able to stay up as late as they like and that means everyone needs their own bedroom. If there is not enough space for that then you have to set rules before inviting anyone over. Tell guests that lights are out 11 PM or whatever and you won't appreciate anyone staying up all night.
Don't leave laundry out on the available seating. Put it away before people come over. If you don't want them on the pillows explain that the pillows have to be removed before sitting on the couch. Not everyone gets that.
Keep enough food and drink in the house that there is enough to go around more than once. Not one drink for me and one drink for you. Keep several. Never run out of stuff. Learn how to entertain. The way you're doing it now is only going to cause hard feelings between you and your friends. Perhaps you may only want day time guests at this point in your life. They come for an hour or two and then leave. Leave the longer stay over night guest to a time when you have more room.
OP- I think you really don't have enough room in your place to have overnight guests and you certainly aren't much of a host.
It seems like you may be living in a studio apartment or a small one bedroom. Guests should be able to stay up as late as they like and that means everyone needs their own bedroom. If there is not enough space for that then you have to set rules before inviting anyone over. Tell guests that lights are out 11 PM or whatever and you won't appreciate anyone staying up all night.
Don't leave laundry out on the available seating. Put it away before people come over. If you don't want them on the pillows explain that the pillows have to be removed before sitting on the couch. Not everyone gets that.
Keep enough food and drink in the house that there is enough to go around more than once. Not one drink for me and one drink for you. Keep several. Never run out of stuff. Learn how to entertain. The way you're doing it now is only going to cause hard feelings between you and your friends. Perhaps you may only want day time guests at this point in your life. They come for an hour or two and then leave. Leave the longer stay over night guest to a time when you have more room.
Yes! Being a gracious host is an art form that has been practiced for thousands of years.
Why do you allow people to stay in your space if you don't like the way they behave? Why do you have friends that are so bossy and domineering? Why have you not set boundaries before now?
I have a friend who stays up all night. I do not always, but sometimes I do.
Which I will get to later.
But, isn't this rude?
I have a love-seat up against a wall a few feet too far to watch TV from. And frankly, it's a clean laundry hamper, which is my right :-)
I offer an office like chair and my friend makes a big show of how uncomfortable it is - which is rude to begin with, imo.
He doesn't say 'do you mind if we clear off this love seat?'
He just pulls it out and sits on my laundry!
I said no no, and put it in a basket.
Then he took the cushion - the one you're supposed to lean against - and sat ON it.
I was like hello?
There is more, but I will start with that.
I don't know how to deal with someone who takes charge of my space, in general.
Besides banishing him from it.
I don't want to make him feel like he's on eggshells but I am sure not willing to feel that way in my own home!
Another example of 'My Personal Space Is Being Invaded And I Am Being Made To Feel Uncomfortable But For The Sake Of Getting Along I Will Tolerate The Inconvenience'.
Tell this idiot what the rules are and don't smile or be playful when doing it. Period.
What's ironic is that I am certain there is something in his home that he would just flip if you changed or moved out of place. People like him will get as comfortable as you will allow them to.
Is he a friend, a guest, or "like family"? And if he died tonight would you regret being so dang picky about his behavior?
And fold your clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer! You'll look better wearing them. Don't even take them from the dryer unless you're going to fold them piece by piece as they come out.
So this person comes over to your place, you go to bed, and he stays up playing video games? That's kind of weird.
It sounds like you are close enough that you don't feel like you have to clear off your laundry for him, but not close enough that he should be comfortable taking the last soda. It sounds like a case of mixed signals to me. He's either a guest or he's not. If he's a guest, you should clear off the laundry, and he should leave when you go to bed. If he pretty much comes and goes as he pleases, then he's comfortable making himself at home because he doesn't know you feel any different.
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