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Old 03-06-2016, 09:46 PM
 
1 posts, read 926 times
Reputation: 10

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I'm a 25 yr old male living in the Bay Area, I have a job and I'm volunteering at two non-profit organizations. I've graduated from college and will plan to go to grad school next year. My problem is, my life feels boring and it seems to repeat itself everyday. I work and volunteer, and then I finish off the day by going to the gym and then go home and relax. My social life is basically non existent, I feel like I have no friends, and nobody every gives me a call or text unless they need something. Never had a girlfriend, online dating is not really getting me anywhere. I feel an inner frustration and I don't know what to do about it. It feels like I am stuck and suffocating. I'm just unsure of my life's purpose and where I am headed to in life. I never really get invited to anywhere. I can get extremely envious of seeing other people's lives outside, and in social media. Everyone seems to always have an abundance of friends and things to do and seem happy and have a significant other who cares about them. I have always been rejected by women, the "friends" I had were all fake, and I experienced a lot of shortcomings in my life. Sometimes I just don't feel motivated to get out of bed and would rather just sleep all day, I constantly feel fatigued and tired and dazed. Does anyone else feel this way? I want to turn my life around! I'm tired of being a loser!
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Old 03-06-2016, 10:09 PM
 
Location: USA
2,963 posts, read 2,458,672 times
Reputation: 4966
A lot of self-pity goin' on.....

One of the best things I ever did was finding like-minded people to associate with. My problem in the past was too much pride like I was better than everyone else that shared the common issue as I did.

I think more and more people these days are wearing rose-colored glasses aboutbhow happy they are regardless of being in a relationship now that we have social media. Sadly, sharing negative feelings is frowned on
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Old 03-06-2016, 10:18 PM
 
Location: NYC
15,888 posts, read 23,615,088 times
Reputation: 24328
Shut off the social media. Everyone puts their best foot forward on all the sites. You don't see the bad things going on or the mundane days.

It sounds as if you are depressed. Get help and learn how to cope with your feelings.
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Old 03-06-2016, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Dothan AL
1,450 posts, read 979,132 times
Reputation: 1000
Quote:
Originally Posted by WsupBruh View Post
I'm a 25 yr old male living in the Bay Area, I have a job and I'm volunteering at two non-profit organizations. I've graduated from college and will plan to go to grad school next year. My problem is, my life feels boring and it seems to repeat itself everyday. I work and volunteer, and then I finish off the day by going to the gym and then go home and relax. My social life is basically non existent, I feel like I have no friends, and nobody every gives me a call or text unless they need something. Never had a girlfriend, online dating is not really getting me anywhere. I feel an inner frustration and I don't know what to do about it. It feels like I am stuck and suffocating. I'm just unsure of my life's purpose and where I am headed to in life. I never really get invited to anywhere. I can get extremely envious of seeing other people's lives outside, and in social media. Everyone seems to always have an abundance of friends and things to do and seem happy and have a significant other who cares about them. I have always been rejected by women, the "friends" I had were all fake, and I experienced a lot of shortcomings in my life. Sometimes I just don't feel motivated to get out of bed and would rather just sleep all day, I constantly feel fatigued and tired and dazed. Does anyone else feel this way? I want to turn my life around! I'm tired of being a loser!
You have everything one needs to have a blast in life right here in your post.
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Old 03-06-2016, 10:39 PM
 
12,349 posts, read 23,391,154 times
Reputation: 10276
If you can work out at the gym, then you could probably play a team sport. Instead of going to the gym every night, go every other night, and the other ones join a community or neighborhood sports team. Easiest way to socialize when you're 25 and athletic.

Here' one. http://www.playinthebay.com/

There are others -- I Googled "Bay Area Sports and Social Club"
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:22 PM
 
208 posts, read 140,485 times
Reputation: 439
Listen: everything is NOT as it always seems.

The reality about social media is that most of the time, people CHOOSE to post ONLY the positive things in their lives (selfies on good hair days, new house, new baby, how much fun they had last night etc.) But that is a SKEWED version of people's REAL lives. They seldom share the negative things (selfie on a bad hair day, pics of their disheveled and messy apartment, picture of an attractive ex that just dumped THEM, how down in the dumps they feel on some days, etc.)

Everyone at one point or another in life goes through times of feeling alone, or misunderstood. I've had my moments. But I've learned that as long as I kept on this "self pity party", it would be a self fulfilling prophecy", meaning the more you FEEL rejected from others, you will GET rejected, because you give off an unfriendly vibe.

Stop focusing on how OTHERS see you, treat you, act towards you, etc. Work on loving yourself the way you are and ACCEPTING yourself. Start by being your own best friend. Then, love and accept your wife as she is. Thank God for her! Once you love and accept yourself, are confident in who you are, I can bet you that things will turn around. Remember, it's better to have 1 or 2 trusted friends, than 1000 phonies!
Lastly, here's a tip: Treat others as you would LOVE to be treated. Literally!
Worked for me, speaking from experience here

Good luck!
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:25 PM
 
208 posts, read 140,485 times
Reputation: 439
Sorry for all the rambling, but I want to share one more thing that I know will help you out: Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do have, and be thankful for them. For exemple, I'm a nurse, and work with sick individuals everyday. Can you talk? Can you walk? Can you hear? Can you see? if you answered yes to all, guess what? You are one of the most fortunate people there are, and you have PLENTY to be thankful for! It's all about your perspective
Anyways, hope all this helped!
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:29 PM
 
311 posts, read 288,018 times
Reputation: 561
When I start to go down this path, I put myself out there more. I invite people over. I make plans. I initiate contact and build on friendships. I reach out to new people and ask to get together and 99% of the time, they accept. If I think of something nice to do for someone, I do it instead of just thinking about it.

And social media will give you a bad case of FOMO (fear of missing out.) It does look like everyone has a nice life because that is all they post. I know it's all I post. I don't whine on social media and I keep it positive. People probably think I have a perfect life and am happy all the time, which is only about 70% true.

Sorry you are in a rut. Make some proactive changes. I hope you feel better soon.
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Old 03-09-2016, 09:04 PM
 
2,359 posts, read 2,013,264 times
Reputation: 5447
Quote:
Originally Posted by Candh07 View Post
Stop focusing on how OTHERS see you, treat you, act towards you, etc. Work on loving yourself the way you are and ACCEPTING yourself. Start by being your own best friend. Then, love and accept your wife as she is. Thank God for her!
Huh? I don't think he has a wife. Rest of your reply was good feedback though.

OP - stop trying to compare yourself to others. Are you volunteering at 2 NPO's and planning on going to grad school to impress others, or is it for you? Focus on what you've got going on. It's pretty impressive what you're doing.
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Old 03-12-2016, 11:12 AM
 
208 posts, read 140,485 times
Reputation: 439
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhureeKeeper View Post
Huh? I don't think he has a wife. Rest of your reply was good feedback though.
Oops, my bad, thanks for correcting me PhureeKeeper I hope the OP does take all of the great advice posted on here!
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