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Old 03-11-2016, 03:17 PM
1,672 posts, read 890,874 times
Reputation: 1758


This might belong in the Employment forum.

I'm looking back at the past few years, and I think the root cause of all the anguish and setbacks in my life boils down to getting hired to do what I want to do, and wanting to live where I want to.

I used to work somewhere with constantly gray and dreary weather, a couple people at work suffered from season affective disorder, everyone in the local area looked miserable, barely anything to do after work, my social life was in cryofreeze. But it was the type of work that allowed me to excel, the work was interesting to me, I collected recommendations and other awards.

I later relocated to a place with much nicer weather, and a lot more going on after work. But it was highly strict and competitive, because it was a desired location. My social and romantic life was going in the right direction, but I constantly had to look over my shoulder to make sure I don't get fired.

The above stories repeated themselves (snowy, harsh weather, miserable people, successful work-- great weather, great after-work activities, restored social life, cutthroat work environment).

What are ways to reach a balance in your job and environment? I would say that I'd prefer the stability of a job that I enjoy over a location that I enjoy. But I only have so much time on this earth. Do I really want to give up my life to a job that doesn't give a toss about me at the end of the day, and spend every day in a place that doesn't help my life after I clock out of work? I tried to "make an island" out of that bad location, but at the end of the day I'm just doing a lot of daydreaming to keep my mind away from the reality of my living situation.

Like I said, I was most recently in a job where it felt like I wasn't good enough to impress anyone. I do IT work, I restored several services in the office that were completely out of order for months, and I was still let go before my probation period ended. And in my absence, the office duties run smoother because of the services I was able to fix. So my time off of work felt like eating something extremely delicious, but only having an extremely small portion of it. I rationed my enjoyment for the short time it lasted.

I'm not sure what to ask precisely. Is there a better solution or better way to come to terms with the dilemma of working to live vs living to work, other than "it's what you make it," "you take the good and you take the bad," "it is what it is?"
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Old 03-11-2016, 04:05 PM
3,842 posts, read 3,371,561 times
Reputation: 11817
I don't know. I think a lot of people have asked that question. I know I did and sometimes still do even though I don't currently work outside the home. The overwhelming answer for me always goes back to needing that job. Fortunately, I can find happiness in a lot of places. It's up to us to make our own happiness anyway. One thing I've done for myself is found something to like even if it isn't where I want to be. For me, that's a balance of having someplace I enjoy coming home to and designing my own adventures and having something to look forward to. If I have something I can control, then I'm usually ok with wherever I am.
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Old 03-12-2016, 04:40 PM
Location: Oakland, CA
27,330 posts, read 30,569,084 times
Reputation: 26968
Even in desired locations there are many types of jobs. I am trying to adjust to a more hardcore work environment. But I have had plenty of less intense jobs too. In the same region and industry.
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Old 03-13-2016, 12:11 AM
1,751 posts, read 2,965,279 times
Reputation: 2071
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