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I can understand where she is coming from. I would be really annoyed cleaning up after your dishes. Leaving them around for days is really gross!!
She should be appreciative for everything that you are doing for her, that said she is not your maid. You made her the offer to live and pay what you charged her.
Doing business with friends can be tricky for this exact reason. If she wasn't your friend would you be leaving the dishes around like you do? Any other renter might leave because they don't want to live in filth.
I like what another poster said, give her 30 days to get out before rent increases to market value. Let her know your friendship is important and this isn't working out. You want it resolved before the friendship blows up more than it already has.
-I'm not going to kick her out - more money would be nice (seriously, would be a few hundred more a month), but I value the friendship more. Plus, we both take care of each other's pets when one has to go out of town, and that saves us both money. The money issue also just became a little less urgent than it was before.
-I don't expect her to do the dishes for me. I actually am happy to do all the dishes (hers and mine), just on my own timeline. She actually bought a used portable dishwasher but never bothered to set it up, and we keep the toaster oven on top of it and use it as extra counter space. Installing a real, bona fide dishwasher would require a total reconfiguration of my kitchen and I don't have the money for that right now.
-I did not put my dog down because she had one bad day - she was failing gradually for several months and her quality of life became unacceptable after a particularly bad day when she could no longer support herself on her legs or eat.
-I think the idea of washing the dishes immediately after eating is a great idea, and I'll give it a try.
Yes, washing the dishes as you go is much easier and cleaner, you don't need a dishwasher for two people.
While I don't think she should be your maid, if it was me I would show some gratitude for having below market rent and show that appreciation by doing a little more cleaning, and not just dishes.
-I'm not going to kick her out - more money would be nice (seriously, would be a few hundred more a month), but I value the friendship more. Plus, we both take care of each other's pets when one has to go out of town, and that saves us both money. The money issue also just became a little less urgent than it was before.
-I don't expect her to do the dishes for me. I actually am happy to do all the dishes (hers and mine), just on my own timeline. She actually bought a used portable dishwasher but never bothered to set it up, and we keep the toaster oven on top of it and use it as extra counter space. Installing a real, bona fide dishwasher would require a total reconfiguration of my kitchen and I don't have the money for that right now.
-I did not put my dog down because she had one bad day - she was failing gradually for several months and her quality of life became unacceptable after a particularly bad day when she could no longer support herself on her legs or eat.
-I think the idea of washing the dishes immediately after eating is a great idea, and I'll give it a try.
Well, maybe you were just upset last night when you wrote your original post. Otherwise, I don't see how the money situation has become less urgent since then - last night at 8 pm until today, early afternoon, not even a full day later. But of course, stranger things have happened.....
I don't blame you for being upset, if that's the reason behind writing your original post. You had been very ill and had to deal with putting your dog down. Again, so sorry about that.
Did it really never occur to you to wash the dishes right after using them as opposed to waiting until it took you a whole day to catch up on doing them?
Maybe the best thing in the long run, would be to sit down with your roomie/friend and discuss all the issues and come to an agreement that works for both of you. If you are that good of friends, it is worth the effort to have everything out on the table, so to speak. It's much better to talk things out and communicate along the way, as opposed to letting things fester until one or both of you gets very upset over something that started out as a fairly minor issue. Good friends are worth the effort!
I don't get the roommate's complaint. Does she go down to the basement and get your dirty dishes and wash them? I'm guessing the answer to that is no - so just what is she washing that she is complaining about?
And no - the issues of dishwashing and rent are NOT separate. I'd do all the dishes every day if she would agree to actually put them away if I was getting a deal on my rent AND had the better half of the house to boot. I have trouble lifting my arms over my head so putting away is problematic. WASHING is problematic, but I can sit down when my back starts to hurt and carry on when it quiets down some, LOL!
Consider putting a utility sink in your basement. They're fairly cheap and you already have plumbing down there. Then you can do up your dishes out of her sight altogether, and carry them upstairs already cleaned.
Set up the portable dishwasher, load it up, and have it do your dishes. End of problem. You'll have your dishes washed automatically, and all you have to do it unload it.
I would not put the rent over your friend's head over this issue. After all, in agreeing to such generous terms (and they are generous terms), she didn't agree to clean up after you. That said, if I was your friend, I'd hold my tongue in acknowledgment of the great deal that I'm doing (and cleaning extra dishes is a small price to pay for that in my view).
I don't get the roommate's complaint. Does she go down to the basement and get your dirty dishes and wash them? I'm guessing the answer to that is no - so just what is she washing that she is complaining about?
I doubt the OP carries the pots/pans, spoons, spatulas, etc... that they uses to cook downstairs. And since they "usually" eat downstairs, there are still times they eat upstairs and leaves their dishes in the kitchen.
Quote:
And no - the issues of dishwashing and rent are NOT separate. I'd do all the dishes every day if she would agree to actually put them away if I was getting a deal on my rent AND had the better half of the house to boot.
Unless the friend agreed to be the OP's maid in exchange for lower rent, they are separate issues. I don't like to clean dishes, but I clean mine because I'm an adult and its just something that needs to be done after each meal. I would not be interested in washing someone else's dishes as well because they are too lazy to do their own (this is an ongoing problem, not just since the OP has been sick).
I cannot even imagine what the downstairs must smell like with all those dirty dishes sitting in a tub for weeks. And I doubt washing the dishes is the only cleaning that the OP is lazy about. It wouldn't be worth the reduced rent. It wouldn't even be worth free rent to live in those conditions.
If dishes are your biggest problem, i would beg her to stay
What are you going to do when you have a stranger living upstairs who parties until 3am, spills syrup on the carpet, paints her bedroom bright orange without asking, and stops paying rent after two months cause she quit her job cause her boss was mean ?
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