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For me the hard part of the telling would be that it sounds like you don't have a job a year later; it would seem easier if you could say, "This is what I've been doing, and this is how it's going." Maybe there's something that you have been doing that would fit this role?
Map out your story, to help you stay unflustered; they're going to want to know specifically what you are planning to do, and what you're doing to get there, so figure out what you're going to say when they ask. Try not to lie or evade, or you'll just have something else to deal with down the road.
Try not to become defensive or reactive. You are providing them with information as a courtesy because you care about each other. You are not responsible for their reactions. They may freak, and they will use the same emotional and communication modes they always have, because this is what they're used to doing. You can choose to try to remain calm and understanding of how they may be feeling, without falling into your usual response patterns. (I am making assumptions based on my family experience, so take what applies!)
Now the unsolicited advice: I can tell you from experience (got my associate's degree in my 40's) that life with some kind of college degree is easier. If you have two years of college completed, you may be able to transfer the credits to a community college and get an AS or AA with little or no additional work. You may not have that option in five years when your credits have gone stale, so it might be worth looking into; after all, you've already paid for it and done the work.
My mom said she'd never kick me out for any reason, so I'm not worried about that one.
Wait a minute. Are you living with them rent free and they are footing the bill for your food and other necessities? If this is the case, once you tell them you are not going to school, they need to make sure that you were out living on your own and paying your own bills for everything including the health insurance they are now paying for you. If you want to make adult choices and have adult freedom, you need to start taking adult responsibility for yourself.
If you are actually out on your own and paying your own bills, then it is none of their business what you decide to do with your education and you can set the tone for them staying out of your life decisions I simply telling them you are done with school and will be making your own way in the world.
Anyone have any advice or experience on telling my parents I'm not going to college? I left about a year ago because I realized I had no passions after taking 2 years of classes, and I was afraid of debt (lucked out on scholarships, so no debt right now). I'm still afraid of debt and have no passions, I'd really rather work in retail or service forever if I can, even if it's 2 part-time jobs, or get to be a secretary if I'm lucky.
I've hinted at it before, and they're like "Then what are you going to do??" But when I try to answer, it's like I forget because I get nervous and have no answer; when really, I'm basically going to get whatever jobs I can and use that work experience to get better-paying jobs in place of education.
I know that most parents wouldn't want to hear this, but I just don't care about having a career. People get jobs and work their way through college and live alone, so I could do the same (without the debt), but forever, right?
I pretty much just want to live in apartments forever (commitment issues), so I'll have no mortgage, and renter's insurance isn't expensive. I have thought about if I'm unable to find a job with benefits that way, but I'm sure I can save money for retirement and insurance on my own, since I won't have many expenses outside of rent because I never will have kids. (Not open to the "You might change your mind" nonsense. It's just not happening because reasons.)
I'm thinking the only insurance I'll need is health, pl-pd for car, and renter's insurance, and save anything I don't use at the end of each paycheck for emergencies/retirement; but if I'm healthy enough, I would like to work until I die (like my doctor wants to, she's 75+)
I don't feel like I can tell my family all this though, so I'm looking for other ideas about what to say if anyone has them. I feel like they'd think I'm stupid/crazy, some already do just because I want to move out of state alone. Not planning to move too soon, saving money still.
tl;dr: I have unconventional life plans and I need to know how to tell my parents I'm not going to college pretty soon (cause I'm expected to go back to college after this summer) without telling them much about my actual plan.
Perhaps I missed it, but exactly what have you been doing for the last year?
If you were not working who was paying your expenses?
I might not have made my intentions with my post clear.
I am only looking for advice on how to communicate to my parents in a way that would upset them/freak them out the least when letting them know I am not going to college and how to prepare for questions.
I am not asking what people think about my plan. I do not care what people think about my plan. And no, college is not an option for me, and that's my choice.
The best way is to tell them that you gave college a good try for 2 years, but you haven't found any field that interests you, so you'd like to go to work for awhile, as a change of pace, to see if you get some ideas from the workplace, or discover something that appeals to you through direct experience. You can also explain that you feel this would be better than taking on debt; indebting yourself makes no sense when you have no idea what to major in and what you want out of life. You're right, there.
I think working may keep you happy for a few years, but at some point, you'll wake up one day and feel bored out of your skull. You'll want more out of life. Hopefully by then you'll have some idea of what you're good at and what you want to study. Good luck with the parents! Report back.
As a parent of college-aged kids myself, I would much rather my son or daughter stay out of school and figure things out rather than just flounder around. College is too expensive for you to not know exactly what you're going.
But if you stop attending, then you need to get a real job and start trying to figure out what you enjoy in life. Otherwise, you'll be the sad cliche living in your parents' basement. Don't be that guy.
I would say you'd have to have a fairly good head on your shoulders to have gotten the scholarships. I think just tell your parents and hope they respect your view enough to let it go.
Once you've earned a paycheck it seems a little pointless to continue school. My brother and sister went through it and my buddy in high school did it.
My parents specifically asked that I not work during school so that I did not get the taste of the paycheck. I did end up getting a summer job at a bank but that money only helped my sister pay for her college so I never saw it.
You must already know that your parents will tell you about how you are limiting your future earning potential and that you can't understand that in your current stage of life.
You did know that the most important part of your brain doesn't finish developing until you are in your mid 20s?
Your parents will not want you to 'throw away' your future based on faulty teenage reasoning.
For me the hard part of the telling would be that it sounds like you don't have a job a year later; it would seem easier if you could say, "This is what I've been doing, and this is how it's going." Maybe there's something that you have been doing that would fit this role?
Wait, OP are you living at home without a job? Of course your parents are going to ask what you plan on doing.
To make it easier to tell them, you need to have a job lined up so you are able to tell your parents how you plan to support yourself in the near future, and you need to start looking for a place to live. Map out what you plan to do in the next 5-10 years, so you are able to tell your parent's that information. I wouldn't officially say anything to them until you have a job.There will hopefully be less of an explosion if you show that you've put some thought into your future plans. Your Mom might have said that she would never kick you out, but you cannot live at home forever working minimum wage jobs. Once you move out and are able to support yourself, they won't be able to have a say in what you do in life.
I think you need to plan to pay your parents rent if you are living with them and not following the original plan. What did you do during the year off? It sounds like you left something out.
Frankly, I think you are going to wake up on some cloudy Thursday morning as a 32 year old in a job with no upward movement and realize you made a mistake....
What are your interests?
What are your passions?
What do you love to do?
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