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Except the OP "stood up for himself" in private, without consulting the rest of his party/family. IMHO that's not really standing.
While I agree, because I personally would have said out loud to everyone, "I'm getting a separate check because I am sick of partially paying for your alcohol and expensive meals while my wife & I drink tea and eat lightly," he obviously knew what a commotion that would cause so he did it as quietly as he could.
While I agree, because I personally would have said out loud to everyone, "I'm getting a separate check because I am sick of partially paying for your alcohol and expensive meals while my wife & I drink tea and eat lightly," he obviously knew what a commotion that would cause so he did it as quietly as he could.
He could have said out loud to everyone, "I'm getting a separate check" and left out the judgey-judgestein rest of the sentence.
I also like the idea of adding up his actual share (e.g., without the booze and apps), adding a healthy tip, and handing that amount in cash to whoever appears to be in charge of settling up.
He could have said out loud to everyone, "I'm getting a separate check" and left out the judgey-judgestein rest of the sentence.
I also like the idea of adding up his actual share (e.g., without the booze and apps), adding a healthy tip, and handing that amount in cash to whoever appears to be in charge of settling up.
Did you not read where they do that already, and the brother-in-law wound up covering the rest because the cheapskates shorted him?
It's time to say something to the assclowns, or stop going out to dinner with them. I don't put up with that crap, and that's why we don't have issues like this.
Did you not read where they do that already, and the brother-in-law wound up covering the rest because the cheapskates shorted him?
It's time to say something to the assclowns, or stop going out to dinner with them. I don't put up with that crap, and that's why we don't have issues like this.
If I am with a group and this might be problematic, this is what I do:
I bring cash with me. Check goes around, I quickly tally (incl tax and tip) and put that amount of cash in and I am DONE. I always round up. I have bills broken down for this reason. I keep cash on hand at home all the time for things like this or garage sales, etc...for things where exact change is handy.
If I do fear the server will get shafted on the group tip I find them after all pay and check; I'll make up the difference happily to the server. I used to wait table and it is just a principle thing to me.
I'm fine with separate checks though. This is such a norm now because everyone wants to pay with separate CC or Debit cards, not like the olden days where you just threw cash in.
The problem is, someone collects the money and says "we're short $10"(just for the bill never mind the tip), I have been in that situation and you end up kicking in more money. I now only go out to dinner in small groups(4 people or less) that I know well, and don't try and shortchange others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
Did you not read where they do that already, and the brother-in-law wound up covering the rest because the cheapskates shorted him?
It's time to say something to the assclowns, or stop going out to dinner with them. I don't put up with that crap, and that's why we don't have issues like this.
Bingo, while the OP did take a stand, his BIL got screwed this time. Why do people continue to dine out with people who have repeatedly shown they're cheap or are going to short you? I don't care if you're related or not.
In this case they're friends of the wife, some friends.
These "assclowns" get away with it, because no one ever speaks up. You can say something and even put some humor it. "Sorry, but eating out with you is like a mortgage payment for me".
I don't think either is OK. Discussing separate checks as a group is the mature thing to do, "shy" or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
While I agree, because I personally would have said out loud to everyone, "I'm getting a separate check because I am sick of partially paying for your alcohol and expensive meals while my wife & I drink tea and eat lightly," he obviously knew what a commotion that would cause so he did it as quietly as he could.
Again, I believe it's easier to ask forgiveness than get permission. Bringing it up at the beginning of the meal probably would have created drama, arguments, pressure to go along, etc. Then it would have been even worse to ask for a separate check anyway.
Doing it the way the OP did didn't wreck the meal - at least until it was over ha ha. And the message was made clear that he wasn't going to go along with the usual baloney, but at the same time he and his wife could make their exit.
Then, everyone goes home and discusses it afterwards, instead of commenting throughout the meal. I can just imagine the nasty comments. "Well, I was going to order some appetizers for everyone, but....blah blah blah." It would have given the group the opportunity to gang up on the OP.
At least that's how it would have gone in my family.
That's not to say there won't be tension at the next outing. But, I think it will be easier this way.
Feel free to use it, I bet you have some good ones yourself....LOL.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty
The mature thing to do would be to confront the cheapskates or disinvite them.
That is why they want separate checks to begin with.
Again, why the discussion about separate checks but no discussion about everyone not paying their fair share?
Exactly, and besides when separate checks are brought up by the one who is getting screwed one of the dolts will most likely ask "Why do we need separate checks?".
Perfect time to tell them, you don't have to be nasty, do it with humor or just be frank. If they get offended too bad, don't dine out with them anymore. They may not want to anyway, because now they figure they can't order drinks, appetizers, etc....and expect others to foot some of their bill and not tip.
Everyone thinks it's ok the cheapskates are not paying, but let someone ask for a separate check and everyone gets upset.
Well put. Isn't that always the way.
In this society you can be as rude as you please but if someone calls you it is instant backlash and spewing your way. So messed up.
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