Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-29-2016, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Chanute, KS
302 posts, read 473,837 times
Reputation: 880

Advertisements

Brief backstory: My DH and I moved to Kansas last September, partly due to my daughter and granddaughter moving away and not having a reason to stay in a city we couldn't afford. My heart was/is broken that I can't see them, and although I like it here, I have still had a hole in my heart that nothing could fill. In February, my husband's niece gave us a 10 week old puppy. Someone had given it to her, and she could see how happy I was when I held the little guy. I finally found something to ease the sorrow in my heart, as I am a nurturer and needed something to nurture, hold and love. My husband told me I glowed, and even my home health providers could see the change in me and said that having this puppy was good for me, like a therapy dog. My MIL was not happy with us having the dog (we rent our house from her) but pretty much let it go.

Last Saturday, which happened to be my 60th birthday, which I was dreading because I was sure I would be sad without my family, my husband's SIL came over and had coffee and visited. The puppy had gotten bitten by something in the yard and had bites on his tummy, legs and face. He would scratch his face and make his eyelids swell up. We showed this to her and explained what was going on when she asked why his face was swollen.

The day went on and I actually was having a good day and enjoying my birthday. Late in the afternoon, MIL calls and tells my husband that SIL told her that our cats were beating up the puppy, and his eyes were swollen shut. Husband tries to tell MIL they are bites, but she says "that's bulls****, you have to either get rid of the cats or get rid of the dog." I was devastated, my birthday ruined, and heartbroken. I wrote her a letter (because I thought I would just cry in person, and that she wouldn't let me finish what I had to say anyway) explaining the truth about the puppy, and what a difference he was making in my life and my emotional well-being. She didn't care. "Dogs and cats don't go together, get rid of him."

Everything was fine until my SIL told this lie to MIL. My husband had warned me about her before we moved here, but I considered her my friend and sister, and trusted her. I thought she felt the same about me. She is well aware what the puppy means to us, but decided to cause this heartache anyway, for what reason I don't know.

We are now trying to find a home for the puppy before we end up taking him to the animal shelter. I cry a lot, not just because I am losing "my baby", but because of her betrayal. I am afraid of what I might do when I see her, and my husband is furious and wants revenge. Any ideas how to deal with this?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-29-2016, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
15,142 posts, read 27,760,706 times
Reputation: 27260
Had you taken the poor puppy to a Vet?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-29-2016, 11:16 AM
 
26,660 posts, read 13,730,981 times
Reputation: 19118
I don't understand why you are getting rid of the puppy? If what your SIL said was a lie and the swelling was actually due to bites then why not take the dog to the vet, figure out what is going on, handle it and keep the dog.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-29-2016, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,901,366 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamingo13 View Post
Had you taken the poor puppy to a Vet?
Seriously! Poor pup!

OP, it's your husband's mom. He needs to talk to her. She most likely won't evict you over this (unless things go REALLY wrong) so have him step up and advocate instead of "getting revenge."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-29-2016, 11:22 AM
 
12,883 posts, read 13,976,233 times
Reputation: 18449
First - happy birthday!

Second - as far as what your SIL did, that is pretty s*itty. But you leave us with little explanation as to what happened to the puppy - I was very confused reading the story and had to read it a couple times - do you know what bit him? You know for sure it happened in the yard? Are you 100% sure it's not the cats? As the previous poster said, have you taken the poor little guy to the vet for the injuries?

Maybe your SIL was worried about the puppy. Maybe she hates cats and loves dogs. You say your husband's warned you about her - in what way? What does she have a history of doing? Lying? Being bitter? It seems it's the first time she's done something to you. Maybe others in the family, but until now, not you.

Third - if you love the dog so much (it seems you truly do), why not get rid of the cats instead? Don't get me wrong, I think it's a shame that your MIL is being such a b*tch and telling you you can't keep both the cats and your dog. I don't see why your animals are her problem when it comes to them fighting (hypothetically) or the puppy being attacked in the yard by an animal. It seems totally unfair, random, and unwarranted but if your MIL is your landlord, I guess you kind of have to go by her rules if you really can't change her mind. Does SHE have some sort of bitterness regarding your happiness? Does she just not like dogs? So strange.

IMHO dogs can give you so much more than cats can, and if you need that type of companionship with an animal (and I think it benefits most people), keep the puppy. In my experience, dogs are so much more lovable and more in tune with humans. They truly will love you and be so happy to see you, sad to see you leave, want to be by your side, want to please you, etc. They are wonderful companions. I like cats, I guess, but I don't think they are the same (I know there are some cats who have great personalities and relationships with their humans but I think most are just... meh). If the dog has brought a change in your life and happiness that the cats obviously never did, then keep the puppy!

I think a more important question though, out of all this, is if you really need to get rid of an animal(s), why are you so set on the puppy when he makes you so happy?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-29-2016, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Chanute, KS
302 posts, read 473,837 times
Reputation: 880
We were going to take him to the vet this week. Right now he is still here. It has to be something in the yard or else the cats would have it too. It is only in the places he comes into contact with the ground, ie: his tummy, legs and face since he likes to roll around as puppies do. There is no way the cats did this to him.

According to my husband, my SIL has always been a troublemaker, a liar, and a skank. She had so far been good to me. I am not going to go against MIL's wishes. She lives two doors down from us, and like I said, this is her house. My husband did try to explain, and she shut him down. Rather rudely I might add.

As far as the kitties go, I have had both of them since they were kittens. One is 8 and one is 10. They are like our kids. As much as I love the puppy, I could never, ever get rid of my cats! We love them and they provide their own sort of happiness to us.

On a side note: My SIL is living with mom right now because they have SIL's 6 year old granddaughter living with them, due to her parents having been in jail for several months. They also have the child's family dog living there. A huge pitbull, which is illegal in this city. He frequently gets out and roams the neighborhood, and recently bit the neighbor's little boy (who had to have been taunting him because he is a nice dog.) I just don't get why it's such a big deal to her that we have this puppy, who hasn't done anything other than make us happy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-29-2016, 11:56 AM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,034,747 times
Reputation: 12265
Your dog has (infected?) bites from an unknown animal. This is not the time to engage in family drama, this animal needs medical care.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-29-2016, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,489 posts, read 8,808,426 times
Reputation: 17514
You say you "were going to take him to the vet". Why haven't you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-29-2016, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
15,142 posts, read 27,760,706 times
Reputation: 27260
I know! Really, if you didn't take him to a Vet perhaps you really shouldn't have a puppy?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-29-2016, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Chanute, KS
302 posts, read 473,837 times
Reputation: 880
We get paid SSDI once a month, should have money tomorrow. Living on a fixed income, there is rarely any money left at the end of the month.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:36 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top