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I am wondering what the thought is regarding the death of an Uncle out of state? Should I go or would it be acceptable to send cards and see my Aunt when I visit this summer?
Depends on - How close your family is
- How close you were to your uncle - and to his widow.
- How you feel.
There are no rules set in stone. My family is very loose knit, and no one would be offended. In other families, it might cause bad feelings.
Also, if you can't afford it, need to work, have child care issues etc. - you can't go.
We are dealing with a similar situation now. My maternal great aunt recently passed away. My family lives in NYC, while the funeral for my aunt will be in North Carolina. While my family would not likely attend just any funeral for a non-immediate family member that was a good distance away due to costs, we are sending my mother as this is an aunt who helped to raise her. And my mother will have some of her cousins there as well, so my siblings and my absence won't be too hard on here.
Thanks for the input. We saw each other twice a year and didn't communicate much otherwise. I don't know what the arrangements are yet but with the dog boarding and catching a last minute flight it will be expensive. I am leaning towards a card and flowers (or donation to charity if that is requested.
Considering this I think you are making the right decision.
A sincere, hand-written letter of condolence is always more appropriate than a purchased card. If you knew the deceased for all or most of your life, you no doubt have several, if not many, personal things you could say about him to your aunt that would make her feel that her spouse really will be missed by others.
That is what all truly bereaved people want far more than flowers or even prayers. They want to know that their loved one will live on in the hearts and memories of people touched by his or her life.
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