Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I had two friends both were women(I am a guy). Both I talk to on a regular basis as just friends(I gave up on dating a month ago), well one wanted to meet me and she seemed moderately interested so I took her out.
Well later that day, I was hungry again, and seeing as how I am new to the city, I wanted a good mexican place to eat. So i texted her asking about good places, she suggests this one place and I don't know where it is. She then tells me that she can go and meet me there. I asked her then who was paying for it and she said I was! I told her that I had already paid for her today and that I didn't have the money this time for two people. I suggested that we go dutch. She then tells me she has no money and gets mad, then she calls me a jerk and hangs up. Bear in mind this one is in her 50s...i am in my late 30s. I deleted her number.
Second so called friend wanted to go out tonight but we couldn't agree on where to go. Finally we decide to go to this one club. Well she brings a friend and they get in for free. I had to pay money for gas, the club and my drink which came out to like $23. I had just arrived and right when I get my drink, she says, oh hey my friend is cold so we are going to go? Wtf? Are you serious? So they leave, I get to my car and they text me and say that they are still there but downstairs. I go looking for them and can't find them so i leave. Halfway home, she texts me and says that she is in a bar downstairs. At this point, I am just pissed off. This is coming from a girl who said that she got ignored by someone two weeks ago that she went out with. I texted her 5 times asking where she was and there was no answer. If she didn't want me to come, she should have told me.
Anyway, i talked to a guy friend of mine, and he told me i am doing this all wrong. That I am a guy and I am not supposed to "have an opinion" or "talk about my feelings" because thats what girls do and he said that if I do that, it will get me no where. He told me that when I get mad for me just to leave, but this has been an ongoing thing. I had a girl 3 weeks ago, hook up with me and disappear, then text me out of the blue and when I didn't answer right away(I was at work) she got mad. I am sorry, but if this was a GUY, no woman would put up with this, so why should I have to? My friend said that its because of sex and that this is the way women test men, but im sorry, sex is NOT worth it. I am not thirsty or desperate by any means. I just don't understand why I keep getting mistreated by the opposite sex. Can someone help me make sense of this?
Hi, DIAH. For whatever it's worth, the first woman was really presumptuous; once you've made it clear that Dutch is an option, but you weren't looking for company, she should have sent you the address and maybe recommended a dish to try. And wished you a good evening.
The second woman should not have brought a friend. I'm a bit stunned at the bad manners of both of these friends.
Your guy pal can speak from his experience, But I frankly always valued a friend's feelings. Being human, just plain human, comes first! The behaviir you described is NOT how a young woman worth knowing tests someone she's interested in.
Remain yourself. Every guy who walks into the room gets looked at. You might need to walk into the rooms where nice people are: ones who are thinking about a bigger picture than a club cocktail or a meal ticket.
I'm sorry these experiences sucked. Personally, I'd try kicking things down a notch, and try meeting someone more casually, at the grocery store, the bookstore, the coffee shop, or the gym.
I just don't understand why I keep getting mistreated by the opposite sex. Can someone help me make sense of this?
You're not getting mistreated by the opposite sex. You're getting mistreated by specific people. Ask yourself why you associate with people who treat you disrespectfully?
Your limited experience with these people does not speak for the entire female gender. Start choosing better friends to have in your life who aren't so selfish and you won't have these problems. And get some better guy friends while you're at it because what he told you is ridiculous. There's no such thing as "girls testing" you for sex. Anyone who thinks that's how it works clearly has little to zero experience with women.
What I've learned is if you don't interact with women then they can't do anything to you in the first place. Been through way worse than what you described and my only option was to cut women out of my life completely.
OP, so let me get this straight - two women try to take advantage of you or yank you around, and you think you dislike the entire gender? Ok.
FWIW, your male friend seems like a jerk too. Work on yourself so that you can attract a better quality of friend or exercise more judgement regarding who you spend time with.
I had two friends both were women(I am a guy). Both I talk to on a regular basis as just friends(I gave up on dating a month ago), well one wanted to meet me and she seemed moderately interested so I took her out.
Well later that day, I was hungry again, and seeing as how I am new to the city, I wanted a good mexican place to eat. So i texted her asking about good places, she suggests this one place and I don't know where it is. She then tells me that she can go and meet me there. I asked her then who was paying for it and she said I was! I told her that I had already paid for her today and that I didn't have the money this time for two people. I suggested that we go dutch. She then tells me she has no money and gets mad, then she calls me a jerk and hangs up. Bear in mind this one is in her 50s...i am in my late 30s. I deleted her number.
Second so called friend wanted to go out tonight but we couldn't agree on where to go. Finally we decide to go to this one club. Well she brings a friend and they get in for free. I had to pay money for gas, the club and my drink which came out to like $23. I had just arrived and right when I get my drink, she says, oh hey my friend is cold so we are going to go? Wtf? Are you serious? So they leave, I get to my car and they text me and say that they are still there but downstairs. I go looking for them and can't find them so i leave. Halfway home, she texts me and says that she is in a bar downstairs. At this point, I am just pissed off. This is coming from a girl who said that she got ignored by someone two weeks ago that she went out with. I texted her 5 times asking where she was and there was no answer. If she didn't want me to come, she should have told me.
Anyway, i talked to a guy friend of mine, and he told me i am doing this all wrong. That I am a guy and I am not supposed to "have an opinion" or "talk about my feelings" because thats what girls do and he said that if I do that, it will get me no where. He told me that when I get mad for me just to leave, but this has been an ongoing thing. I had a girl 3 weeks ago, hook up with me and disappear, then text me out of the blue and when I didn't answer right away(I was at work) she got mad. I am sorry, but if this was a GUY, no woman would put up with this, so why should I have to? My friend said that its because of sex and that this is the way women test men, but im sorry, sex is NOT worth it. I am not thirsty or desperate by any means. I just don't understand why I keep getting mistreated by the opposite sex. Can someone help me make sense of this?
What ever happened to picking up the phone and actually TALKING to the person?? This texting is far too impersonal..yet you question why I should listen to them..or they are the best things since sliced bread.. HOW does anyone know the actual tone/context or personal sense thru 140 characters in a TEXT.
Texting is the lazy way of contact..actual vocal contact..ability to get sense of tone in conversation...Boy, life in 2016 has gone to HE$$ in a handbascket..because making a judgement based on text ( which could be from a ghost/or pseudo-person identity) kind of gives me chills.
Sure Hope adults yeah their kids to check out just who they text with..verify and make sure..TALK ..which allows identity verification...reassurance..never mind..ability to perceive actually INTENT of the WORDS!!
It's a disturbing trend indeed..Peole tweet outrageous stuff believing it's anonymous..BUT it isn't..Texting can be interpreted whatever way the receiver ASSumes..may be OFF base..Doesn't matter I guess..??????
Your friend is correct - you are doing this all wrong. But not the way he means - you are hanging out with jerks who behave badly and you let them treat you badly. Sounds like you have poor boundaries and aren't a very good judge of character. Choose a better class of friends, and put your foot down when people try to get you to do things you don't want to do.
Also, if you're in your 30s you should not be hanging with "girls."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
